ok some good things and some bad here. good things - it is a nice poem, flows well, good rhyme scheme. bad things - lacks origionality, gives you an almost hallmark kinda feel (candy-coated, so sweet and kind it makes you ill). other than that it was actually decent. you seemed on the tip a few times of being unique, yet you failed to find that phrase that makes you unique. it takes time to develope. relax. don't freak out. just think about something else and post a new poem.
shine a light so bright that all can see
and you will find the joys that echo within me