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Passions in Poetry

Water

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Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 12-21-1999
Posts 5742
Southern Abstentia


0 posted 12-21-1999 08:15 PM       View Profile for Local Rebel   Email Local Rebel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Local Rebel

My feet fall like rain,
On the ground,
Running nowhere,
Faster as I reach the hollow.

I feel thunder like it's pain,
And I wonder,
Am I somewhere?
And why do I feel so hollow?

And what did I do?
What did I say?
I had been waiting for a way,
To cross the water,
But it seems I washed away.

I feel my heart beat faster,
As I run faster,
I know it's weaker
Than before I came here.

Every breath gets shorter,
And I feel older,
With every footstep,
But I have no fear.

Whatever I did,
Or said,
It wasn't as cold
As this water,
It wasn't as cold

But I've been baptised by the pain,
You know it wasn't the rain,
That stopped me,
It was only my heart



 How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it. -Marcus Aurelius
© Copyright 1999 Local Rebel - All Rights Reserved
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


1 posted 12-21-1999 08:24 PM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

My gosh, this is good... I've read it three times and I'm going back for a fourth... That's a good thing...
Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 12-21-1999
Posts 5742
Southern Abstentia


2 posted 12-21-1999 08:42 PM       View Profile for Local Rebel   Email Local Rebel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Local Rebel

Thanks so much Nan.  It is a very meaningful commment coming from a woman of letters and an educator as well.  

 How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it. -Marcus Aurelius
Dolphins3
Member
since 09-30-1999
Posts 142
Wisconsin


3 posted 12-21-1999 10:05 PM       View Profile for Dolphins3   Email Dolphins3   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dolphins3

LR Welcome to Passions! Great poem. I loved the last stanza. Merry Christmas  
Iloveit
Senior Member
since 09-02-99
Posts 1168
NM


4 posted 12-22-1999 09:38 AM       View Profile for Iloveit   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Iloveit

yep Nan, I always try to get him to write more, he has a way with words....I love this, you can just feel it like if you are there with him.....and then the last stanza....wow!
starboards
Member
since 10-14-1999
Posts 469
longwood, florida


5 posted 12-22-1999 09:40 AM       View Profile for starboards   Email starboards   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for starboards

yes great poem! i myself may have to go back for seconds!

Starboards

 
"I wont look back, I wont regret, though it hurts like hell someday I will forget"
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


6 posted 12-22-1999 09:44 AM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

I like this. You have a way with words that is wonderfully descriptive!  
Fairy Colours
Member
since 12-02-1999
Posts 173
Sunrise,Fl,US


7 posted 12-22-1999 10:55 AM       View Profile for Fairy Colours   Email Fairy Colours   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Fairy Colours

This is great. I love anything about water and I'm happy you wrote this.

 --A Little Fairy--
RSEvans
Senior Member
since 10-23-1999
Posts 1187
Tulsa, OK, USA


8 posted 12-22-1999 11:14 AM       View Profile for RSEvans   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for RSEvans

Nice.  I especially like the part about being swept away.
Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 11-15-1999
Posts 1691
Georgia, Fulton


9 posted 12-22-1999 05:51 PM       View Profile for Nate Dogg   Email Nate Dogg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nate Dogg's Home Page   View IP for Nate Dogg

Nice poem and we welcome you with open arms!

 Nathan
littleJas
Junior Member
since 12-22-1999
Posts 39
Australia


10 posted 12-22-1999 07:37 PM       View Profile for littleJas   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for littleJas

I really liked it alot. Its very good
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 07-07-99
Posts 32119
Tamarac Fla


11 posted 12-22-1999 09:56 PM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seymour Tabin

Local Rebel,
Excellent poem. Enjoyed
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 08-26-99
Posts 46297
displaced


12 posted 04-22-2004 03:57 AM       View Profile for passing shadows   Email passing shadows   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for passing shadows

you and me both, babe
 
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