How to Join Member's Area Private Library Search Today's Topics p Login
Main Forums Discussion Tech Talk Mature Content Archives
   Nav Win
 Archives
 Open Poetry #4 Archive
 please give a reply even if u think its
 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8
Follow us on Facebook

 This is an Archive. You may post a reply, but new topics are not allowed.

 
User Options
Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Admin Print Send ECard
Passions in Poetry

please give a reply even if u think its bad

 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
amandafoose
Junior Member
since 12-20-1999
Posts 11


0 posted 12-20-1999 08:02 PM       View Profile for amandafoose   Email amandafoose   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for amandafoose


I want to wake up to your hand beside mine
I want to be your one and only
I want to be there when you feel excited
I want to be there when you're lonely

Summer days won't be summer days
Without a kiss and you beside me
My air will not have oxygen
Unless it is the air that you breathe

I need you
Only you
No one else fits the puzzle
You make my picture complete
And a life without you is something i cannot withstand
Spend your days with me
Your night can be my night
We will live a life of paradise
All the rest is eternity
© Copyright 1999 amandafoose - All Rights Reserved
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


1 posted 12-20-1999 09:06 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

I don't think it sounds bad, I think it sounds like LOVE!  

 Denise


Jordan Lake
New Member
since 12-20-1999
Posts 6


2 posted 12-21-1999 08:00 AM       View Profile for Jordan Lake   Email Jordan Lake   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jordan Lake

I think it sounds good Amanda. My only advice is to let it flow... let the words live inside your soul, and then just let print themselves upon the paper. Poetry cannot be forced upon a page. Poetry is not only words, it is the essence you create when you express the intricasies of your inner-self. Take care Amanda, and please keep writing, I have enjoyed your work.
Fairy Colours
Member
since 12-02-1999
Posts 173
Sunrise,Fl,US


3 posted 12-21-1999 09:40 AM       View Profile for Fairy Colours   Email Fairy Colours   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Fairy Colours

OOO. I think somebody's in love too. Great poem.

--A Little Fairy--
starboards
Member
since 10-14-1999
Posts 469
longwood, florida


4 posted 12-21-1999 11:42 AM       View Profile for starboards   Email starboards   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for starboards

I think this is far from bad...this shows true love which is always a good subject to write on...great job!

Starboards

 
"I wont look back, I wont regret, though it hurts like hell someday I will forget"
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


5 posted 12-21-1999 11:52 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Another hopeless romantic  
Iloveit
Senior Member
since 09-02-99
Posts 1168
NM


6 posted 12-21-1999 12:00 PM       View Profile for Iloveit   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Iloveit

yep another hopeless romantic...sigh....really nice poem  
Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 12-21-1999
Posts 5742
Southern Abstentia


7 posted 12-21-1999 01:37 PM       View Profile for Local Rebel   Email Local Rebel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Local Rebel

Well,

Don't know how hopeless she is but she definitely is in love... classically I'd say
Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 11-23-1999
Posts 15611
Lansing, MI USA


8 posted 12-21-1999 02:35 PM       View Profile for Sven   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sven

Wonderful words Amanda. . .

I must agree with Jordan. . . poetry comes from the heart. . . so let your heart guide you. . . let your voice sing. . . show us your song. . .

The best words come from within us. . .

 That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl


amandafoose will be notified of replies
 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
All times are ET (US) Top
  User Options
>> Archives >> Open Poetry #4 >> please give a reply even if u think its Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Print Send ECard

 

pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Today's Topics | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary



© Passions in Poetry and netpoets.com 1998-2013
All Poetry and Prose is copyrighted by the individual authors