I felt the pain from my heart as I wrote this and I can feel the pain now as I'm typing it. I would like to apologize to Passions for breaking a code of conduct. It will never happen again. I just had to get this poem on here again beacuse, it's very powerful and it showcases a lot of emotions.
I was a hard-headed kid from the start.
I had no disicpline and I had a black heart.
I was born to a family of five,
that struggled to strive and stay alive.
Born in a dysfunctional home,
my father stayed to seem me grown
but, when I turned eleven he was gone.
Sop without a father-figure,
life grew more vigor.
My grandaddy used to beat my grandmother but that was before my time
but, I still saw how it affected her mind.
She used to hide the bruises with make-up and told lies.
And she kept dark shades on to cover-up her eyes.
Angry after hearing this, I mastered the art of hatred.
It was so overwhelming that I couldn't overtake it.
I wished that my grandad wasn't dead
because, if he was still alive, I would take a hatchet and chop off his head.
Later on, I introverted
and wondered how life would be if things were perfect.
With no dad, my mom was all I had
but, she couldn't contain me
because, after I curse her out, she would run in her room and pray to God for help vainfully.
So with no one to scold me, I began to steal.
I got caught a few times but bust it
because, life for me is unjust, so forget it.
In 89' I remembered the night,
when I tried to bleach my skin so that my black behind could be white.
I hate my black skin
because in this white man world, being black is a sin.
God is white and i wanted to be white like him.
I felt that if I was white, I would have less problems.
I definitely wouldn't have to worry about racist cops like Mark Furman
because, those types are only out to get a black person.
So I think I'll seclude
and go to Catholic school,
and study under nuns so that I can become a Catholic fool,
because none these courts want none of us out
and none of these courts want to see us live like normal adults
Man, no wonder why my brothers take life for red and blue,
it's the evil that men do.