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Passions in Poetry

Oh, spare me, Love!

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Master
Senior Member
since 08-18-99
Posts 1880
Boston, MA


0 posted 12-18-1999 12:13 AM       View Profile for Master   Email Master   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Master's Home Page   View IP for Master

Oh, spare me, Love! Donít burst inside my chest!
Allow me to distribute what you gave me!
Filled to the brim and stripped of all my rest,
Iím blessed to know that you enslaved me.
Simplicity, how great youíve grown to be!
Neither, too plain nor too complex in essence.
How come you chose to show yourself to me,
When millions are craving for your presence?
How come the holiest of churches lack your will?
And purest wine cannot bring out your flavor?
How come the feeling that you make me feel,
Was absent, on Last Supper, from the table?
As long as uniform still differs from unique,
Iíll feed the universe with verses from my beak!



†I fell in love and kept on falling



[This message has been edited by Master (edited 12-18-1999).]
© Copyright 1999 Andrey Kneller - All Rights Reserved
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


1 posted 12-18-1999 02:24 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

I found myself wanting to read this like a sonnet Master even though it doesn't follow the format for one. It's a good poem, but a nip and tuck in a few of the lines to make it iambic pentameter it would be a great sonnet!!!
Master
Senior Member
since 08-18-99
Posts 1880
Boston, MA


2 posted 12-18-1999 11:15 AM       View Profile for Master   Email Master   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Master's Home Page   View IP for Master

Thanks Ruth, can you suggest how?
Denise
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Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


3 posted 12-18-1999 03:00 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Beautiful, Master. Check your email for some suggestions!  This is soooo close to being a sonnet and like Ruth that is how I am trying to read it!  

 Denise


Master
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since 08-18-99
Posts 1880
Boston, MA


4 posted 12-18-1999 06:38 PM       View Profile for Master   Email Master   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Master's Home Page   View IP for Master

I can't thank you enough, Denise!
Seymour Tabin
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since 07-07-99
Posts 32119
Tamarac Fla


5 posted 12-18-1999 06:51 PM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seymour Tabin

Master,
I enjoyed the read.
Master
Senior Member
since 08-18-99
Posts 1880
Boston, MA


6 posted 12-18-1999 07:37 PM       View Profile for Master   Email Master   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Master's Home Page   View IP for Master

Thank you Seymour!
caroline
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since 08-16-99
Posts 1251
http://members.xoom.com/bellad


7 posted 12-18-1999 07:42 PM       View Profile for caroline   Email caroline   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for caroline

Always enjoy your work, Master, and this is no exception. I agree with the experts   Excellent piece for making into a sonnet.

 It's not the love you fear, but the fall from the height~Edwin McCain


Master
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since 08-18-99
Posts 1880
Boston, MA


8 posted 12-18-1999 10:18 PM       View Profile for Master   Email Master   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Master's Home Page   View IP for Master

Thanks Caroline, I agree also, but to make it into a sonnet I would probably have to change the whole context of the poem. I think I would rather keep it the way it is.
Elizabeth
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Member Rara Avis
since 06-07-99
Posts 7296
America the beautiful


9 posted 12-18-1999 10:30 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Elizabeth's Home Page   View IP for Elizabeth

I'd offer you some suggestions, Master, but am not exactly the best critic! (Besides, it seems Denise has done so already  ) Anyway, I enjoyed the read-I am a fan of your work!

 Nail to the mast her holy flag,
Set every threadbare sail-
And give her to the god of storms,
The lightning and the gale!
-Oliver Wendell Holmes


Master
Senior Member
since 08-18-99
Posts 1880
Boston, MA


10 posted 12-19-1999 12:00 AM       View Profile for Master   Email Master   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Master's Home Page   View IP for Master

Thank you Elizabeth, glad you enjoyed it!
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 08-04-99
Posts 10270


11 posted 12-19-1999 05:23 AM       View Profile for Dark Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Angel

WOW Master!! This is simply beautiful, love it!!

 What comes from the heart goes to the heart.
Samuel Coleridge


Master
Senior Member
since 08-18-99
Posts 1880
Boston, MA


12 posted 12-19-1999 10:38 AM       View Profile for Master   Email Master   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Master's Home Page   View IP for Master

What comes from the heart goes to heart!--Glad you liked it!
Pepper
Member Elite
since 08-19-99
Posts 3134
Southern Florida

Official Passions Reader
13 posted 12-19-1999 11:36 AM       View Profile for Pepper   Email Pepper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pepper

Beautiful piece Master....

 A soul that writes from the heart and shares it, truly gives a gift extraordinaire!
Shannon


Master
Senior Member
since 08-18-99
Posts 1880
Boston, MA


14 posted 12-19-1999 11:53 AM       View Profile for Master   Email Master   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Master's Home Page   View IP for Master

Thank you Pepper!
 
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