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Passions in Poetry

Colder

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Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


0 posted 12-17-1999 09:27 PM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Severn

When mooned
the sky
shifts at light
stars are
stronger than mountains
wider

yet
warmed
by representation
from foolish minstrels
and sonnet song

Ocean’s fairy
spray
touch faces
bare with love

loved barely

by those
who take her dangers
and mold them
to fit
a wooer’s sight

so
colder

than blood
in a lover’s
heart

We
vision soft
a poetic world
frail to the call
of human need
yet

colder

she pulses
caring not
for folly
joy
or aching sighs

colder

she lies
numb beneath
our feet
obliviously live
so deaf
to the praise
sung through her
name

and
colder

the seasons turn

18.12.99




 ...no longer lend your strength to that which you wish to be free from, fill your lives with love and bravery and you shall lead lives uncommon...

[This message has been edited by Severn (edited 12-17-1999).]
© Copyright 1999 Kamla Mahony - All Rights Reserved
Balladeer
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Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


1 posted 12-17-1999 09:32 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

This poem gave me the shivers....and not from the cold. I love the way you represented the underlying thought here.
Martie
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since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


2 posted 12-17-1999 09:34 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

I read this several times.  This is a complex poem and beautiful as yours always are.
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


3 posted 12-17-1999 10:23 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Kamla,
Abstactly creating a concrete vision.
Lovely!
Liz
Nan
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Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


4 posted 12-17-1999 10:23 PM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

How intriguing..... Very nicely done, Severn.. I do enjoy your work...
Denise
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Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


5 posted 12-17-1999 10:28 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

I could feel this one. You certainly can weave fine words together!  

 Denise


hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


6 posted 12-18-1999 02:12 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Whew...you've done a good job with this one  
poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite
since 07-25-99
Posts 2961
Arkansas


7 posted 12-18-1999 02:19 AM       View Profile for poetFemmeFatale   Email poetFemmeFatale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for poetFemmeFatale

Exquisitely beautiful young lady!  I do enjoy reading your thoughts, and your poetry!  I applaude you on this one for sure!  ***clapping !!

 - - - If I can just touch you once, then I feel I have accomplished what I am called to do...- - pFF

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 08-02-99
Posts 9130
Purgatorial Incarceration


8 posted 12-18-1999 04:03 AM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

And I with chills
  of winter borne
  a song so dreary toned
Caught inside life's
  endless trial
  where metal heart's entombed.

Brilliant and cold indeed K.
DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 06-22-99
Posts 2442


9 posted 12-18-1999 04:13 AM       View Profile for DreamEvil   Email DreamEvil   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit DreamEvil's Home Page   View IP for DreamEvil

Coldness of soul can be a blessing my friend, though you know it not until pain comes down on you.

Very well done.  


 Now and forever, my heart hears ~one voice~.
DreamEvil©
-------------------------------------------------------
"Either kill me or take me as I am,
because I'll be damned if I ever change..."

Count Donatien Alphonse Francois de Sade
(Marquis de Sade)

Rod
Member
since 12-08-1999
Posts 151
Auckland New Zealand


10 posted 12-18-1999 05:13 AM       View Profile for Rod   Email Rod   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Rod

Gave me the shivers too!
Deep - and well engineered as usual.
You have superb semantic panache Kamla!
Well done!
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


11 posted 12-18-1999 07:13 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Balladeer - thankyou my friend - wasn't sure if it would be clear actually...!  

Martie - thankyou, and thankyou also for reading it more than once - that means a lot you know!

Liz - that is a great way to put it. It sounds very English Majorish.   Thanks. K

Nan - why thankyou! Same goes.

Denise - poems are tapestries of experience, I think my friend - thankyou!!

Ruth - Phew is just how I felt after it! LOL. Thanks  

Gen - Wow. Hey, thanks for that! How are you anyway? Big smiles!  

Chris -

Yet I know
inside a stripped soul
that summer cries
a tune
I cannot help
but follow

Follow it close
my friend for
it is inevitable
as the sky's cycle.

HUGS...

Scott - I do know...and thankyou.  

Rod - Thankyou my friend, wow - that's quite a compliment - now go say that to yourself!!!

K


Pepper
Member Elite
since 08-19-99
Posts 3134
Southern Florida

Official Passions Reader
12 posted 12-18-1999 10:07 AM       View Profile for Pepper   Email Pepper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pepper

Captivating! and Beautiful Severn!
I do love your work so......

 A soul that writes from the heart and shares it, truly gives a gift extraordinaire!
Shannon


Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


13 posted 12-18-1999 10:20 AM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Severn -
Loved the presentation.
Loved the thoughts.
Love ya' ..
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Seaangel
Member
since 07-27-99
Posts 172
Auckland, New Zealand


14 posted 12-18-1999 05:04 PM       View Profile for Seaangel   Email Seaangel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seaangel

Not cold but flushed with the heat of life, however lived...sea or earth or stars, I believe the energy of atoms gives us the right to share the heat...apart from the provoking thought of this, Severn, I thought the poem itself was well-written and I liked the use of "colder" as a refrain...reminding us that all the universe is not the same as us.

 "Stop this day and night with me and you shall possess the origin of all poems,
You shall possess the good of the earth and sun (there are millions of suns left,)
You shall no longer take things at second or third hand, nor look through the eyes of the dead, nor feed on the spectres in books,
You shall not look through my eyes either, nor take things from me,
You shall listen to all sides and filter them from your self." >Walt Whitman, Song of Myself.
Michael
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 08-13-99
Posts 6333
California


15 posted 12-18-1999 07:01 PM       View Profile for Michael   Email Michael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Michael

Uh, I know I'm just stating the obvious but Man You're Good!  It got 15 degrees colder in here just reading this.  Excellent, Severn.


Michael
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 07-07-99
Posts 32119
Tamarac Fla


16 posted 12-18-1999 07:09 PM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seymour Tabin

Severn,
Agree Balladeer, *L* Sy
caroline
Senior Member
since 08-16-99
Posts 1251
http://members.xoom.com/bellad


17 posted 12-18-1999 07:39 PM       View Profile for caroline   Email caroline   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for caroline

Wrapping my blankie tighter around me and thinking...HOW DOES SHE DO IT?  
Awesome, Kamla...simply awesome  


 It's not the love you fear, but the fall from the height~Edwin McCain


Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


18 posted 12-18-1999 08:27 PM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

*S* - Thankyou, dear friend. (merry christmas...)

Marge - love ya too. Thanks  

Sea - hmmm - too intelligent a reply for me...hehehehe - take a break OK - we still have a few weeks off! I beg to differ - we are not the same as the universe.
Thanks hon.

Michael - Thanks - hey, you can borrow some of Carolines blankies (if Gen doesn't mind!!)

Sy -  

Caroline - (Michael might want some of your blankies...) Thanks Mistress B, I appreciate it.

First__Knight
Senior Member
since 11-08-1999
Posts 688


19 posted 12-19-1999 11:51 PM       View Profile for First__Knight   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for First__Knight

I feel the depth of this....The depth that coldness only shares with that who it touches...Excuse me while I go find a blanket.  I seem to be rather cold  

Excellent Severn

 Share what you are for you are what you share

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


20 posted 12-20-1999 03:09 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

First Knight! The rescuer of buried poetry!

Hehe - thankyou, for the rescuing and the praise...*twinkle*

K
mc
Member
since 11-16-1999
Posts 67
México


21 posted 12-20-1999 03:20 AM       View Profile for mc   Email mc   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit mc's Home Page   View IP for mc

It capture my senses to enjoy this exquisite cold and yet warm poem.
Very beautiful, K.

 mcestrada
andy
Junior Member
since 12-16-1999
Posts 17


22 posted 12-21-1999 12:17 AM       View Profile for andy   Email andy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for andy

Bbbbbbbrrrrrrrr  
Excellent and cold yet in the middle of summer !
Nice, very nice words.  

MERRY CHRISTMAS    
samsonheart
Member
since 12-20-1999
Posts 72
Missouri rez.


23 posted 12-21-1999 01:01 AM       View Profile for samsonheart   Email samsonheart   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for samsonheart

You're good.   lovely, lovely poem

samsonheart


passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 08-26-99
Posts 46297
displaced


24 posted 04-15-2005 05:45 AM       View Profile for passing shadows   Email passing shadows   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for passing shadows

wow
I knew this would be good before I clicked it
 
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