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Open Poetry #4
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I Remember Jimmy
| Open Poetry #4 |
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I Remember Jimmy |
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Julie Jordan Scott Member
since 1999-09-19
Posts 146Bakersfield, CA USA 
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From childhood, I remember bits and pieces and senses I remember shiny hardwood floors And interestingly shaped rooms And playing boy games with Jimmy when I would have preferred dolls Or something like that With parents as friends, you play with the children So that was the context of remembering Jimmy I can hear him calling my little brother "Little Joe" Different from me, who called him Joey I now call my neighbors Robert and Little Robert And I remember Jimmy I last saw Jimmy at his sister's wedding It was a good twelve or more years ago I remember little except a warm wooly sweater And thinking it was the first time I saw my father not drink champagne As I emptied a couple glasses myself And I remember Jimmy After we left the wedding I sat in the back seat As we drove from San Diego to home I started crying, with no explanation at all When my husband turned and saw my silent tears it scared him "What's wrong?" he asked, "I don't know, I don't know" I whispered as the tears kept coming Rolling down my face I wonder if a small part of me knew, somehow, sensed, somehow And I remember Jimmy Its been seven years since I got the news That Jimmy had died, and it had been by his own hand I sat hunched in a chair, like a partially deflated balloon My infant daughter had died the month before She died in my womb, when I should have been able To protect her--I was fully responsible for her the only one who knew her Since then I had often thought "What if I just turned the car this way?" off a steep embankment So I could once again care for my little girl I pondered the easiest way to take care of the deed So I could once again be close to my only child my long awaited child And I remembered Jimmy My mother would call me and say, "Just hold on, Just hold on, Julie" As I waded through those dark days But it wasn't until Jimmy died that I realized My work wasn't over here yet, and I needed to stay My life, saved by Jimmy's suicide And I remember Jimmy Julie Jordan Scott is a Freelance Writer and Public Speaker, but her favorite role is that of Mommy! Visit her website at http://www.5passions.com |
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| © Copyright 1999 Julie Jordan Scott - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Tara Simms Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 1244Honea Path, SC USA |
That's right, Julie. Your work here isn't done. You learned a precious lesson from Jimmy's senseless death. Life is something to be cherished! It matters not how strait the gate; How charged with punishments the scroll; I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul. --W.E. Henley |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
A very moving piece, Julie. Excellent writing! Sad yet beautiful. Denise |
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startin_fresh Member
since 1999-08-13
Posts 137US |
Julie: Your words touch deep into me. I too know those dark moments. I think many people have benefited from your being in their lives. Glad you were able to pull yourself back. Courage is the price that life exacts for granting peace with yourself. --Amelia Earhart |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
I agree. There are many emotions on display here. Very well crafted. To the world you might be just one person but to one person you might just be the world. |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
This is an extremely moving piece Julie......touched me deeply.... A soul that writes from the heart and shares it, truly gives a gift extraordinaire! |
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Julie Jordan Scott Member
since 1999-09-19
Posts 146Bakersfield, CA USA |
Thanks for your kind words and comments. One way to keep people alive is to write of them. For me, I think of Jimmy as a person who saved my life. I still get teary thinking of it....my children owe their lives to him too then I suppose. Thanks for giving me a place to remember him, and a time in my life that sometimes I would like to sweep under the carpet. I am a Life Purpose Coach who specializes in assisting men and women to clarify their Life Purpose and then in turn live true to their purpose. After 5 years working with the Severely Mentally Ill in County Mental Health, I gave up the bureaucracy (and safe, secure blanket) of this environment to pursue my own purpose and passion. |
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