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Peeping Tom

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Balladeer
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0 posted 12-04-1999 10:21 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

How long had I crouched in the bushes? Must have been quite long.
I felt the cramps invade my calves although my legs are strong.
My body clothed in black, I had a black cap on my head
And, from my vantage point, I had a clear view of the bed.

The evening was quite cold. I saw my breath escape my lips.
My hands were chilled right to the bone, down to my fingertips.
My vigil did not falter, though. I hid there in the gloom
With hopes that soon I'd see her figure enter in the room.

My patience was rewarded as I saw her cross the light
And though I knew I'd hidden well I crouched back in the night.
The see-through negligee she wore accented every curve.
I could have taken her right then, if I had had the nerve.

The lamp was there behind her and, with every move she made,
The beauty of her figure was quite brilliantly displayed.
Her shadows dancing on the walls made everything surreal.
Emotions I could not control were what she made me feel.

He entered then and I could feel the dark scowl on my face.
I saw his arms around her and I heard the fall of lace.
She raised her lips to his. I saw excitement in her eyes
Intense enough to strongly drive my passions to new highs.

By this time cramps ran up my legs, almost too much to bear
For this pathetic creature hiding in the bushes there
But, though I was in agony, I could not turn my head
Away from her magnificence, now lying on the bed.

I saw him lower to her, watched their bodies intertwine.
I saw his hands caress her skin and wished that they were mine.
I heard small sounds escape her lips in muted ecstacy
And wished that, somehow, they had been produced by acts from me.

Who was this man? What made him such a better man than I?
I'm not considered ugly. I've been known to catch one's eye.
If she gave me a chance, I'm sure I'd show her true delight
But she's with him while I am just a creature of the night.

Their lovemaking had ended and they held each other tight
Until he said, "I'll call you", quickly dressed, kissed her goodnight.
I heard the front door close and then I heard him drive away,
Then turned my eyes back to the bed where, peacefully, she lay.

My feelings overwhelmed me now. I could no longer hide!
I scurried to the side door and I got myself inside.
Pure fire was rushing through my veins. I hurried through the gloom
Then lowered my shoulder and, with a rush, I crashed into her room.

She screamed! She sprang up from the bed. Her eyes were open wide.
I had a cruel look on my face I didn't try to hide.
Before she had a chance to think of anything to say,
I threw the gold band on the bed, then turned and walked away.
© Copyright 1999 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved
Elizabeth
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1 posted 12-04-1999 10:27 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Elizabeth's Home Page   View IP for Elizabeth

The whole time I was thinking, "What a pervert!" and the ending totally threw me. Once again, you have done well, Balladeer. I could see him hiding, her lover with her, and the speaker storming in. Aside from the shock, the ending just about broke my heart. Thank you for sharing your words.

E.

------------------
Nail to the mast her holy flag,
Set every threadbare sail-
And give her to the god of storms,
The lightning and the gale!
-Oliver Wendell Holmes
Balladeer
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2 posted 12-04-1999 10:32 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

And thank you, Elizabeth, for your comment. I appreciate it.
Elizabeth
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America the beautiful


3 posted 12-04-1999 10:38 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Elizabeth's Home Page   View IP for Elizabeth

Here I am again--in this forum I have found some poems that have really spoken to me, and obviously this is one. May I print it? (Please?)
Ohme
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since 07-17-99
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4 posted 12-04-1999 10:38 PM       View Profile for Ohme   Email Ohme   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ohme

Tragedy in the making! And I felt the heartache at the end!
poetFemmeFatale
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since 07-25-99
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5 posted 12-04-1999 10:40 PM       View Profile for poetFemmeFatale   Email poetFemmeFatale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for poetFemmeFatale

Oh Gee Wow Balladeer! You certainly outdid yourself with this one! Mighty powerful it was! And good for him - for throwing the ring on the bed!! I too, had the same thoughts as Elizabeth....just knew he was a scalleywag....but then oh...what an ending!! BRAVO !! BRAVO !! **clapping hard!!

------------------
- - - If I can just touch you once, then I feel I have accomplished what I am called to do....- - pFF
Elizabeth Santos
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since 11-08-1999
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6 posted 12-04-1999 10:43 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

The old Balladeer twist at the end! How well you weave a tale!
P.S. Meet you on Rt 183!
Liz

[This message has been edited by Elizabeth Santos (edited 12-04-1999).]
Severn
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7 posted 12-04-1999 10:44 PM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

MY GOODNESS Balladeer. Excellent!!!!!!!!
(Does that emphasis it enough?)
There you go again - assuming a voice.
Superb...fantastic - I've just run out of words. You built the tension well, created the voice, set the scene and achieved the heart wrenching blow.
I'm impressed.
Severn
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8 posted 12-04-1999 10:46 PM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Oh - I had to add, I think this could be written as a very effective short story as well. And like Elizabeth I would really like to print it - (first page of a magazine...? *twinkle*)
Balladeer
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9 posted 12-04-1999 10:47 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Elizabeth....Absolutely! and with my gratitude.

Ohme...Thank you for feeling it.

Femme..It makes me SO glad you enjoyed it because you have given me a lot of enjoyment with yours lately. Thank you.

Liz....Yep, that's me...the tale-weaver.
Thank you very much. (I'll be there! Driving slow...)

Severn..Thank you. Maybe it's time to pick out a name * smile *



[This message has been edited by Balladeer (edited 12-04-1999).]
WhtDove
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Illinois


10 posted 12-04-1999 10:57 PM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

First thing I'm thinkin is a peepin tom?
Fantasic twist at the end there. Totally unexpected. But we never know what to expect from you except great writing.
And great this was....a bit unhappy at the end.
moonmoon
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since 08-13-99
Posts 280
TX , USA


11 posted 12-04-1999 10:57 PM       View Profile for moonmoon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for moonmoon


Balladeer, I am speechless..so I can't say anything....

***a standing ovation sir***
Marilyn
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since 09-26-1999
Posts 2646
Ontario, Canada


12 posted 12-04-1999 11:04 PM       View Profile for Marilyn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marilyn

Another amazing tale my friend. I have to ditto the responses to the ending. (I always show up late...I think they work me too hard around here...lol)
poetFemmeFatale
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since 07-25-99
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13 posted 12-04-1999 11:04 PM       View Profile for poetFemmeFatale   Email poetFemmeFatale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for poetFemmeFatale

Oh yes !! And a standing ovulation from me too.....er....um....did I say that ?? ROFL

------------------
- - - If I can just touch you once, then I feel I have accomplished what I am called to do....- - pFF
Balladeer
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14 posted 12-04-1999 11:16 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Thank you, dovey and moonmoon.

Marilyn....Don't work TOO hard!

Femme...yes, you did....and if anyone could do it, you could!
Kevin
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15 posted 12-04-1999 11:23 PM       View Profile for Kevin   Email Kevin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kevin

*sitting quite proud*

i actually saw this coming halfway through

damn good stuff balladeer
Marge Tindal
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Florida's Foreverly Shores


16 posted 12-04-1999 11:26 PM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Balladeer -
I felt the suspense.
Intense.
Well said.
The gold ring tossed
upon the bed.
Leaving, the only thing
left to do.
I felt my heart
leave with you.




------------------
~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com
Balladeer
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17 posted 12-04-1999 11:34 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Kevin....I knew some people would. Good job.

Marge...your response is wonderful. Thank you.
sraet
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since 08-04-99
Posts 61


18 posted 12-04-1999 11:55 PM       View Profile for sraet   Email sraet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for sraet

Wonderfully done (as ususal). I had faith that you would bring it together somehow to have a deep and stirring impression...I loved reading it.
Dawne
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since 12-05-1999
Posts 15
USA


19 posted 12-05-1999 01:28 AM       View Profile for Dawne   Email Dawne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dawne

wonderful!!
caroline
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since 08-16-99
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http://members.xoom.com/bellad


20 posted 12-05-1999 02:41 PM       View Profile for caroline   Email caroline   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for caroline

Brilliant, Sir...just brilliant  

 It's not the love you fear, but the fall from the height~Edwin McCain

Denise
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21 posted 12-05-1999 03:27 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Another one to add to your masterpiece collection! Well done! I loved the ending!

 Denise

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22 posted 12-05-1999 06:04 PM       View Profile for Lost Dreamer   Email Lost Dreamer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lost Dreamer

Sir Balladeer, You never cease to amaze with your talent. This was very intense and brilliant.
RainbowGirl
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since 07-31-99
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23 posted 12-05-1999 08:12 PM       View Profile for RainbowGirl   Email RainbowGirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit RainbowGirl's Home Page   View IP for RainbowGirl

Bal: and there I was about to hit your character over the head ...LOL....Great climax!

HUSG

 Yesterday is but today's memory and tomorrow is today's dream...

Pepper
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since 08-19-99
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24 posted 12-05-1999 08:53 PM       View Profile for Pepper   Email Pepper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pepper

I ditto Caroline ( Brilliant), and as a matter of fact, I ditto all above.....!!!
This is an excellent piece Balladeer...

 A soul that writes from the heart and shares it, truly gives a gift extraordinaire!


 
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