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Passions in Poetry

Response to Toerag's "No bugs"

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Balladeer
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0 posted 12-02-1999 09:59 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Old Toerag seem to get a kick
Of picking on my job…
If I'm no intellect like him
Then I must be a slob.

Well, I guess it is up to me
To teach this boy a lesson.
It's time to take a look at mister
Toerag's great profession.

They say that he's a teacher.
Of what, I'm not quite sure.
It certainly isn't English or
Some form of literature.

They say when he conducts his class
He really has a nerve.
His tests are given orally
And he grades 'on the curve'.

If a student's blouse is buttoned up
Where he can't see her cleft,
She may as well forget her grade.
She's gonna get an "F".

If her skirt comes up just far enough
To show a dimpled knee
And, perhaps a flash of nylon, then
She might just get a "D".

If she drops her chalk a lot
And bends over from the waist,
There is no doubt beside her name
A "C" will then be placed.

If the skirt is up and neckline down
Exposing double D's,
Just bet the farm and bank account
Her grade will be a "B".

And, for those special students
Who really want that "A"
And don't let anything like prudence
Get up in their way

They ask for help with homework
And give Toerag their address
They spend the night just boning up
On lessons, I would guess.

Then, if by early morning,
They've satisfied Toerag
By putting out….strong effort, then
The "A" is in the bag.

So, ladies, if you go to school
And sit in Toerag's class
To get an "A" by Toerag's rules,
You better show your a….!

© Copyright 1999 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved
RainbowGirl
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since 07-31-99
Posts 3167
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1 posted 12-02-1999 10:04 PM       View Profile for RainbowGirl   Email RainbowGirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit RainbowGirl's Home Page   View IP for RainbowGirl

Bal, you got him all wrong you know..cause

Toerag is all man and likes to makes us laugh
but now and then he makes us cry equally as well
but one thing he would never do is ask to see my ass
Cause Toerag here has way too much fine class!

Great poem Bal...

HUSG

------------------
Yesterday is but today's memory and tomorrow is today's dream...
Lost Dreamer
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since 06-20-99
Posts 2589
Normal, Illinois


2 posted 12-02-1999 10:05 PM       View Profile for Lost Dreamer   Email Lost Dreamer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lost Dreamer

I knew you would not disappoint with your come back to Mr.Toe. LOL I loved it.
Poet deVine
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3 posted 12-02-1999 10:24 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

So I was good in class you know
I was a student of Mr. Toe
Don't know 'bout all this fuss
Mr. Toe gave me an A Plus!



Nan
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4 posted 12-02-1999 10:38 PM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

Deer Balladeer, 'tis this I know
About our old friend, Raggy Toe
This teacher's famous litany
Is that he taught porn..... photography...
Marge Tindal
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5 posted 12-02-1999 10:50 PM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Oh, Balladeer -
This is a retort at it's finest.
You really have me laughing now!
This one made the 'honor roll'.

He'll probably make you
stay after class.
COVER YOUR --- !

------------------
~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com
Balladeer
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6 posted 12-02-1999 11:09 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Rainbow, I can't believe there are two Toerags in the world but there must be...'cause we're not talking about the same one!
RainbowGirl
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7 posted 12-02-1999 11:23 PM       View Profile for RainbowGirl   Email RainbowGirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit RainbowGirl's Home Page   View IP for RainbowGirl

Bal: as I switch this thing off, that's cause you don't know the darling that I do, but then you're a man and I'm the one that gave him the name TOERAG...and he's as sweet as a nut....that's why he's called Toerag!

HUSG

------------------
Yesterday is but today's memory and tomorrow is today's dream...
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 07-22-99
Posts 9561
Illinois


8 posted 12-02-1999 11:58 PM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

LMBO...good one Balladeer! Just remember if you drop the chalk, just LEAVE it there!

Ok Toe, whatcha got?

------------------
<*\\\><
Jesus is the reason for the season

JTF
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9 posted 12-03-1999 03:57 AM       View Profile for JTF   Email JTF   Edit/Delete Message     View IP for JTF

ROFLMAO ... Great one Balladeer ... ... and Rainbow, maybe that's a male thing but I think Deer is right ... Besides, as you pointed out, Toerag is quite known for his sweet nuts *g*
suthern
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on the threshold of a dream


10 posted 12-03-1999 06:01 AM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

I've taken many classes,
Don't need another degree -
But I'd sure be enrolling
(And pay whatever fee!)
If every course requirement
And every elective, too
Were taught by that sweet Toerag...
A degree? I'd stay for two!

Nan
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11 posted 12-03-1999 07:01 AM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

The degrees are certainly piling up in here.... Geesh - I, personally, love them both Deerly - Head to Toe....
Ohme
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since 07-17-99
Posts 831
Texas


12 posted 12-03-1999 10:43 AM       View Profile for Ohme   Email Ohme   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ohme

What would we do without Toerag and Balladeer? One thing is for sure. We wouldn't laugh as much! Thanks for the giggles.
U K Hero
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since 08-08-99
Posts 271
England


13 posted 12-03-1999 03:18 PM       View Profile for U K Hero   Email U K Hero   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for U K Hero

Ha... I do love reading the banter between you two guys, why dont you kiss and make up...no, no keep going the way you are, its more fun to read.
LngJhnAg
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since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


14 posted 12-03-1999 03:31 PM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LngJhnAg

Ha! I'm sure everybody notices that I do not fling witless arrows at either of these two jesters. I leave them to their own devices, and enjoy the spoils of the pyrhhic victories.

Old Deer and Toe square off with words,
Their malice is plain to see.
Whist I wait in the shadows,
And feed the flames they breathe.

I knew that bringing Toe in here,
Would ignite a powder keg.
No matches? Here, let me help,
I'll even strike the match's head.


I love ya both - I'm sorry I've been away for so long, and will be a stranger for a while longer. While you two seem worlds apart, you are truly cut from the same bolt of cloth.
Toerag
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since 07-29-99
Posts 5839
Ala bam a


15 posted 12-03-1999 03:42 PM       View Profile for Toerag   Email Toerag   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Toerag

My dearest sailor friend,
I've missed you quite a bit,
But your poem above is a tad bit off,
Cuz the cloth remarks don't fit!

Balladeer's a cut of cloth,
That's the accurate part,
But I'm a cut of silk so fine,
He's cheesecloth from Kmart.

He's definitely a "SECOND"
An irregular that's not quite right,
But his weave is not the usual,
It's obvious in light.

But he's always on the blue light special,
A bargain at half the price,
He's good for toilet paper,
For that he does suffice!
LngJhnAg
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since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


16 posted 12-03-1999 03:53 PM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LngJhnAg

(Clucking tongue with regret)

Dear Toerag, you old rascal,
I've been a stranger way too long.
You've become irrascible,
Your words are now too strong.

Tis true old Balladeer our friend,
May be longer in the tooth.
But he deserves a better end,
Than Mr. Whipple would peruse.

As for your silken origin,
Remember from whence your came.
Silk's from a worm's suthern end,
Are you saying you're the same?
Toerag
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since 07-29-99
Posts 5839
Ala bam a


17 posted 12-03-1999 04:01 PM       View Profile for Toerag   Email Toerag   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Toerag

Surely you're a jester,
Do ya think I'm polyester?
I'm refined silk from the finest weave,
And if you really don't believe?
think of the negligee your "sweetie" wears,
And remember I've been next to "there"....
suthern
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on the threshold of a dream


18 posted 12-03-1999 04:03 PM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

And then there is that sailor
He's just a tiny thread
Since he became unraveled
At the thought of sweet Lor's bed! *G*

Hiya, scalawag... good to see you and that fine silk at it again! *G*
RainbowGirl
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since 07-31-99
Posts 3167
United Kingdom


19 posted 12-03-1999 04:05 PM       View Profile for RainbowGirl   Email RainbowGirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit RainbowGirl's Home Page   View IP for RainbowGirl

ROFL...if I could talk instead of laughing I would...ROFLMAO !!!!

HUGS you guys

------------------
Yesterday is but today's memory and tomorrow is today's dream...
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


20 posted 12-03-1999 04:35 PM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LngJhnAg

hmmpphhhh - so, ya lil Belle - just a thread am I? Sure! And the cables holding the Golden Gate Bridge are just spider webs! I am not a thread, I'm just kinda stringy and tough!

Hi there, lil Queen.

As for you, Mr. Scalawag Toerag, it is great reading your words again. Have you headed for warmer climes yet?
Elizabeth Santos
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since 11-08-1999
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Pennsylvania


21 posted 12-03-1999 04:56 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

What fiber is he made of
Our dear friend called Toerag?
He's threads of 21 karat gold
Woven through a burlap bag

And what about the other one
Mr. Balladeer?
He's imported damask of the finest grade
Stained with mustard and beer

Liz
LngJhnAg
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since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


22 posted 12-03-1999 05:20 PM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LngJhnAg

LOL - nice shot, Liz

May I add another verse???

And what of that saintly sailor,
The finest man of seven seas?
What is the make of his cloth?
He's of silver filigree.

Balladeer
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23 posted 12-03-1999 08:34 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

....stained with mustard and beer, Elizabeth?
Sally S.
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since 06-07-99
Posts 887
Ohio


24 posted 12-03-1999 10:10 PM       View Profile for Sally S.   Email Sally S.   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sally S.

LOL!! I can't decide who's funniest. Shaking my head at the lot of ya!
 
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