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Passions in Poetry

The Creeper

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brandondinsmore
Member
since 10-27-1999
Posts 140
OKC, OK


0 posted 11-30-1999 03:28 PM       View Profile for brandondinsmore   Email brandondinsmore   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for brandondinsmore

The Creeper

he's creeping
creeping slowly
through your body
down your spine

he knows you
like no other
and he'll use you
for his own

he's the creeper
he's a creep
I"M not creeping
in your sleep

you're the creeper
creeping gently
you're persuasive
entangling me...


What do you people think?

I'm very interested i your opinions...

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© Copyright 1999 Rounder - All Rights Reserved
poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite
since 07-25-99
Posts 2961
Arkansas


1 posted 11-30-1999 09:33 PM       View Profile for poetFemmeFatale   Email poetFemmeFatale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for poetFemmeFatale

Hmmm....this one makes me sit here awhile wondering what you are talking about! It was indeed very unusual....but I liked it ! Give us some insight if you will.....sounds like a drug...???
brandondinsmore
Member
since 10-27-1999
Posts 140
OKC, OK


2 posted 12-01-1999 09:53 AM       View Profile for brandondinsmore   Email brandondinsmore   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for brandondinsmore

Thanks for the comment.
You see, I am friends with this girl, and she was hurt extremely bad by a guy, and he used her (I think) for sex.
He creeped around, doing nice things only when he wanted sex.
She was hurt, and now...
It's kind of like SHE'S creeping, but in a good way, she's wooing me, if you will, and I'm confused...
Do I make any sense?
I have many more poems on this subject that I am still cotemplating whether or not to post.

Feedback????
poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite
since 07-25-99
Posts 2961
Arkansas


3 posted 12-01-1999 06:12 PM       View Profile for poetFemmeFatale   Email poetFemmeFatale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for poetFemmeFatale

Oh don't be confused! It sounds like she likes you!! And I too can relate to someone "creeping"....please feel free to post more! I see you're a new member, and sometimes it takes awhile for people to get to know you and your poetry....the more you share, the better we can get to know you! Once people learn that they like your work, they will make it a point to read most everything you post! Be patient, and definately keep writing and sharing! I'll be waiting for another one from you!

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~~ Lift your head high - spread your "words" and fly - - poetFemmeFatale

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


4 posted 12-08-1999 07:01 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

What Femme said is true Brandon - it happens to all!

Like this - usually repetition can be offputting, but it works well here - forming the focus for the poem.

K
 
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