los banos, ca,
today i found that feeling,
thats broken my heart a thousand times,
that seen through your i love you's,
to see into the painful lies.
today i lost a security,
that it was all over a long time ago,
but the trust that i have placed in you,
you find no need to show.
today i smiled at you,
looking past the feeling in my heart,
becuase its always better left unmentioned,
and should have been from the start.
today i blamed my imagination,
for the tricks you played on me,
becuase even more than in the past,
i dont want to see.
today you sayed you loved me,
as if it was to convince my soul,
soothe my worries, your intention,
but theres still so many i'll never show.
today i remembered that fear,
that always left me crying in the night,
that would fade away, sympathetically,
but never completely feel right.
today i traveled backwards,
into a time id just assume forget,
but i have no evidence agianst you now,
and im not ready to give up on us yet.
today i pushed aside the thoughts,
that were eating away all that i am,
to tell myself you love me to much,
and ill never lose you agian.
today i looked into your eyes,
far more deeper than before,
just to ask a question of myself,
do you really care to know the answers anymore?