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Passions in Poetry

Better find some Innocence...

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rascalx
Senior Member
since 08-25-99
Posts 604
Florence, SC, USA


0 posted 11-29-1999 01:22 AM       View Profile for rascalx   Email rascalx   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit rascalx's Home Page   View IP for rascalx

Ok, I admit it..I am a closet fan of all of those three-chord hair metal bands of the 80's. This poem/song was written with my air guitar cranked way up along with my sarcasm..
Jeff

Pretty little girl
in her dirty down clothes
Walks a mean shake
everywhere she goes
Teasing little smile
with a twinkle in her eyes
She is drop dead gorgeous
so why is she surprised?

When Johnny Studly jumps her
in the middle of their date
"She acted like she wanted it,
so I thought it would be great!"
Now he is doing time
because he took the bait
Guys, you better find some innocence
before it's too late

Bright red lipstick
on her little pouty lips
Same colored seduction
on her fingertips
Blue jeans miniskirt
that rides high up her thighs
And when the passion started
imagine his surprise

When she starts necking Johnny
in the back seat of his car
"The girl was just all over me
and she says I went too far!"
You guys out there with virgins
just don't know how lucky you are
So you better find some innocence
before she leaves her scars

Momma never told me
that it would be this way
Who is the hunter?
Who is the prey?
© Copyright 1999 Jeff Osborne - All Rights Reserved
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


1 posted 11-29-1999 04:46 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Most controversial. I choose to keep my opinion quiet here - but good poetical technique.
rascalx
Senior Member
since 08-25-99
Posts 604
Florence, SC, USA


2 posted 11-29-1999 08:04 AM       View Profile for rascalx   Email rascalx   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit rascalx's Home Page   View IP for rascalx

controversial? maybe, but I did write this with tongue firmly planted in cheek.:-) thanks for the compliment
scooby
New Member
since 11-29-1999
Posts 2
Beaufort, SC, USA


3 posted 11-30-1999 02:26 AM       View Profile for scooby   Email scooby   Edit/Delete Message     View IP for scooby

I'd call this sexist if I didn't see you winking at us behind your smarmy grin...good form, though; you're right, this is a bad eighties song waiting to happen :-) Maybe something a little more romantic next time?
rascalx
Senior Member
since 08-25-99
Posts 604
Florence, SC, USA


4 posted 12-01-1999 01:53 AM       View Profile for rascalx   Email rascalx   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit rascalx's Home Page   View IP for rascalx

OK, I'll try romance next time since I seem to have struck a chord with those of the female gender. lol, and here I thought I was just being a wise-ass? ;-)
Tara Simms
Senior Member
since 08-12-99
Posts 1285
Honea Path, SC USA


5 posted 12-01-1999 09:24 PM       View Profile for Tara Simms   Email Tara Simms   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Tara Simms's Home Page   View IP for Tara Simms

I loved this! Now if you'd only record it on a tape for me...

------------------
It matters not how strait the gate;
How charged with punishments the scroll;
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
--W.E. Henley

Elizabeth
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Member Rara Avis
since 06-07-99
Posts 7296
America the beautiful


6 posted 12-01-1999 11:07 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Elizabeth's Home Page   View IP for Elizabeth

Objection! Even if this were not written tongue in cheek, I would not feel that it was a "sexist" poem. I have seen this type of situation before where the girl totally brought something on herself (I saw the way she acted) and then decided she wanted nothing to do with the guy. After seeing that, I lost all sympathy I might have had for that type.

------------------
Nail to the mast her holy flag,
Set every threadbare sail-
And give her to the god of storms,
The lightning and the gale!
-Oliver Wendell Holmes
Cuddlez
Member
since 11-27-1999
Posts 434
Walla Walla, WA 99362


7 posted 12-02-1999 12:59 AM       View Profile for Cuddlez   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cuddlez

Cool poem. I thought it was really cool... Rape isnt usually the girls fault, but in a case like that is is rape? I think not. Im a female and I think it is good. Anyone's opinion differ?
Cuddlez
Member
since 11-27-1999
Posts 434
Walla Walla, WA 99362


8 posted 12-02-1999 12:59 AM       View Profile for Cuddlez   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cuddlez

Cool poem. I thought it was really cool... Rape isnt usually the girls fault, but in a case like that is is rape? I think not. Im a female and I think it is good. Anyone's opinion differ?

------------------
Time flies? Say it not so, time stays we go.
rascalx
Senior Member
since 08-25-99
Posts 604
Florence, SC, USA


9 posted 12-02-1999 01:10 AM       View Profile for rascalx   Email rascalx   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit rascalx's Home Page   View IP for rascalx

Thank you Elizabeth for your "objection"; although I purposely wrote this poem from a humorous perspective, I too have had first hand experience with this type of situation. After many years of hearing how most men were little more than hormone-addled sex-starved dogs :-), I felt it necessary to enlighten others about the equally sexist members of the female gender. And before I get any more responses about my sexist opinion, ask yourself - Doesn't everyone know at least one woman that they think is a slut? (wink)

Tara, of course I must thank you for continuing to be a positive influence on my writings. :-) And I'll send you my recording of my best Poison imitations (wink) as soon as I am finished. :-)

Cuddlez..I hadn't really thought of my work from the persective of rape but it is an interesting insight..thank you :-)

[This message has been edited by rascalx (edited 12-02-1999).]
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


10 posted 12-02-1999 07:24 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Oh well, guess I'll do the opinion thing now!
Let's see. We live in a society based around the premise of 'the beauty ideal'. Unfortunately, many girls believe they have to be stereotypically beautiful to be loved - and often arrive at the false conclusion that dressing in the way you have described is 'beautiful'. And then, they act to fit the part, to keep fragile self esteems hidden or/and intact - it's only when the consequences arise that they flee. So, the hunter perhaps is society to some extent and both male and females are the prey.
Only generalisations of course. K
sraet
Member
since 08-04-99
Posts 61


11 posted 12-02-1999 09:27 AM       View Profile for sraet   Email sraet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for sraet

Well, what can I say except, I loved "three-chord hair metal bands of the 80's" (would enjoy a good round of Poison every now and then) and I thought your post was insightful if taken very carefully (fine lines your stepping up to). Very much agree with Severn's last post about society beging the hunter.
BTW, loved the last 4 lines!
Lynn
Member
since 09-20-1999
Posts 321
Jasper, Alabama U.S.A.


12 posted 12-02-1999 09:43 AM       View Profile for Lynn   Email Lynn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lynn


Great subject. I know girls like that, ad I know guys who have went through this. I also agree with Severn about the socity=hunter thing.

------------------
If time cannot heal your pain, you can always cry on my shoulder. ~Jenn~
 
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