Are you and I the same person? lol I know EXACTLY how you feel... I am in the SAME boat as you my friend. It is a hard, hard, stressful and painful spot to be. Hang in there though, all the answers to your questions are sure to come at the right times... I hope this true for me as well. Wonderful poem, well written and hit VERY close to home with this one.
Life is what you make of it... Not what you let it be