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Open Poetry #4
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...Perhaps Tomorrow
| Open Poetry #4 |
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...Perhaps Tomorrow |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648
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A pall of bleakness covers ev'rything Yet claims no name, no circumstance in time Descending unannounced on silent wing Its melancholy strain's devoid of rhyme And reason for its presence I can't find Yet still it settles in with plans to stay And paints my world with hues of somber kind Its palette holds but darkest shades of gray The canvas splashed with tones of deepest doom So grim each stroke no beauty can be found Pervading all of life with dreary gloom Within this prison I'm securely bound I'll ride this tide and hang on through the night Perhaps tomorrow brings a ray of light. ------------------ Denise [This message has been edited by dsnyder (edited 11-24-1999).] |
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| © Copyright 1999 Denise - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Depression? Just my take... Hope you suffer not, but this was well done just the same. |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
It doesn't matter what this poem is about , the phrasing is just beautiful, as usual, Just lovely, Denise |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thank you Andrew and Elizabeth for your kind comments! Yes this is about depression but no, I don't suffer from it...just your run of the mill blues from time to time. But I have known people with clinical depression and I imagine that it feels something like this. Thanks again for your comments! How are you feeling, Elizabeth? A little stronger each day I hope. ------------------ Denise |
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Ohme Senior Member
since 1999-07-17
Posts 816Texas |
A beautiful sonnet, Denise  I enjoyed ------------------ Yesterday is history, tomorrow just a mystery. And if today is good to me how could I ask for more? [This message has been edited by Ohme (edited 11-24-1999).] |
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Julie Senior Member
since 1999-08-20
Posts 739Houston, TX |
So well illustrated Denise. Very original using this type of imagery... |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Even a sad sonnet makes me happy...  |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
Wonderful sonnet Denise. But then I recall two others that were equally as impressive. No matter the mood, always cream of the crop. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thanks Ohme, Julie, Nan and Mike for your kind comments! As always, it is deeply appreciated! Yippeeeee!!!! I got a clown face from Nan! Wooohoooo!!!! ------------------ Denise |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Great style, Denise. You are always impressive. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thank you Balladeer! So kind you are! Have a great Thanksgiving! I'll be thinking of you all tomorrow when I'm WORKING..grrrr..oh well, at least it's just 'till 2 p.m. and then it's Turkey Time!!!! ------------------ Denise |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
What another great sonnet Denise, you need to use that address I gave you |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thank you so much, Ruth, I definitely will! ------------------ Denise |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Fabulous Denise! Though sadly fabulous  |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Denise, My body has been taken on a trip A temporary storm on rocky ship That even breathing has become a task Laborious a simple question asked And yet my spirit soars like eagle's wings And yet my heart with joyous laughter sings But should I one day find myself in dark In ugly places cruel with visions stark Would that you write exquisite poetry A fine melodic sonnet just for me To lift me up again on feathered wing So that my spirit would your sonnet sing For you have gift of word indeed so rare And gift of heart you generously share What pleasure I do take in knowing you And to all the poets you've been a friend so true Thank you for your thankgiving wishes Elizabeth |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
I certainly hope you find your ray of light, Denise. This was beautiful, but so sad. Michael |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thank you, WhtDove, Elizabeth and Michael so much for your wonderful comments! And thank you Elizabeth for your beautiful poem! You are special! And Michael thank you for your wishes...I'm just fine! I was just reflecting on some past memories and some of the family members on my Mom's side of the family who battled with clinical depression all their lives. So sad. I imagined that it must feel something like this poem that I wrote. But I don't have personal experience with these feelings myself. Thank God. Must be a horrible state to be in most of the time. Thanks again for your concern. ------------------ Denise [This message has been edited by dsnyder (edited 11-25-1999).] |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Denise! Great imagery of the blues here! I know when I feel this way, I just hope it soon goes away. Thanks, Corinne |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thank you, Corinne for your kind comments! Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours! (check your email!) ------------------ Denise |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Denise, a sad but great sonnet and you even made Nan cry ! ; ) Very well done girl. : ) |
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mc Member
since 1999-11-16
Posts 67México |
I don't think there's anyone who has ever expressed so well about "when you feel depressed" You have a beautiful and simple way to express such feelings. ------------------ mcestrada |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
You have painted the emptiness of depression so well Denise--this is a very impressive piece. I'm so glad the description is not of you. Have a happy Thanksgiving! |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
I think a tiny little rainbow is needed just to brighten up the picture a little... Things do seem to lose their shine when sad or unhappy and you expressed the feeling exceptionally well...aren't we a miserable bunch..*g*....oooops Big HUGS ------------------ There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle, or the mirror that reflects it... |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Very Impressive Indeed !! ------------------ What comes from the heart goes to the heart. Samuel Coleridge |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thank you so much, Munda, Mc, Martie, Rainbow Girl and Dark Angel for your kind comments! I am always amazed that people like the things that I write. You are all so sweet! ------------------ Denise |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Denise - Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful ! Moods in shades of gray. Cannot see the light of day. Cannot think or hope to find ... a place called happy in my mind. Rest assured the depressive lure ... a sadder shade of blue pales in contrast ... to the call of the light that beckons in the night and brings a change of hue. ------------------ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thank you, Marge, I'm glad you liked it! Say, how do you,Elizabeth, Ruth, Seymour and Balladeer write such wonderful poems on the spot like that?! Takes me days and days sometimes weeks to finish a poem! Very nice. You all have that extra something special, that's for sure! Thanks again for your wonderful comments! ------------------ Denise |
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Cuddlez Member
since 1999-11-27
Posts 422Walla Walla, WA 99362 |
I too liked your poem and understood it... Lovely poetry, and I like the way the topic is treated as a metaphor. |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
I think it's called INSPIRATION ... and this one of yours INSPIRED us ! Love ~Marge~ ------------------ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thank you so much Cuddlez and Marge! Marge-you are too kind! If I inspired you I'm happy! ------------------ Denise |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Denise, I doubt "The Raven" was penned in moments wrought 'Twas not a whim or simple afterthought The greatest poetry the muses gave Was worked and worked til perfect it was made Anyone can write a simple rhyme But greatest poetry takes time and time Unless of course the poet's name is Sy In which case I know not the why Elizabeth |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Denise, You've sent me butterlies on flighted wing More wondrous to me than anything So delicate a wing to master such a flight And carry creature through the winded night So has your poetry uplifted me And so your heart in humble rhapsody And so your voice to help me through the night And so your butterflies in winged flight Thank you for everything Elizabeth [This message has been edited by Elizabeth Santos (edited 11-27-1999).] |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thank you, Elizabeth! I'm glad you liked the butterflies! I'm glad too that they helped you through the night! ------------------ Denise |
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