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Passions in Poetry

Another Thanksgiving Delight...

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Sunshine
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Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


0 posted 11-24-1999 12:08 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

[Please note, this was sent by a friend who got it from somewhere else - I would applaud the author, but I do not know who s/he is. Enjoy it anyway.]

'Twas the night before Thanksgiving and all through the kitchen;
I was cooking and baking and moanin' and bitchin'.
I've been here for hours, I can't stop to rest,
this rooms a disaster, just look at this mess!
Tomorrow I've got thirty people to feed.
They expect all the trimmings. Who cares what I need!
My feet are both blistered, I've got cramps in my legs.
The cat just knocked over a bowl full of eggs.
There's a knock at the door and the telephone's ringing;
frosting drips on the counter as the microwave's dinging.
Two pies in the oven, dessert's almost done;
my cookbook is soiled with butter and crumbs.
I've had all I can stand, I can't take anymore;
Then in walks my husband, spilling rum on the floor.
He weaves and he wobbles, his balance unsteady;
then grins as he chuckles "The eggnog is ready !"
He looks all around and with total regret,
says "What's taking so long....aren't you through in here yet ??"
As quick as a flash I reach for a knife; He loses an earlobe;
I wanted his life !
He flees from the room in terror and pain and screams
"MY GOD WOMAN, YOU'RE GOING INSANE !!"
Now what was I doing, and what is that smell ?
Oh, ****, it's the pies !! They're burned all to hell !!
I hate to admit when I make a mistake,
but I put them on BROIL instead of on BAKE.
What else can go wrong ?? Is there still more ahead ??
If this is good living, I'd rather be dead.
Lord, don't get me wrong, I love holidays;
It just leaves me exhausted, all shaky and dazed.
But I promise you one thing, If I live till next year,
You won't find me pulling my hair out in here.
I'll hire a maid, a cook, and a waiter;
and if that doesn't work, I'LL HAVE IT ALL CATERED! >>
© Copyright 1999 Karilea Rilling - All Rights Reserved
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


1 posted 11-24-1999 12:42 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Laughing here....thanks for the smile
here's a few for you
JOY 14
Senior Member
since 09-22-1999
Posts 1447
Wisconsin USA


2 posted 11-24-1999 03:41 PM       View Profile for JOY 14   Email JOY 14   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit JOY 14's Home Page   View IP for JOY 14

That is too good! I applaud the author too, whoever they are. They gave me quite a good laugh!
Denise
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Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


3 posted 11-24-1999 08:53 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Thanks for sharing this, Sunshine, just hillarious! And so true to life! (hehehehe)


------------------
Denise

Ohme
Senior Member
since 07-17-99
Posts 831
Texas


4 posted 11-24-1999 08:57 PM       View Profile for Ohme   Email Ohme   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ohme

Thank you sunshine. This is precious and exactly how I used to feel before our holidays.

------------------
Yesterday is history, tomorrow just a mystery. And if today is good to me how could I ask for more?
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


5 posted 11-24-1999 09:22 PM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


6 posted 11-24-1999 09:25 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

This is great, Sunshine!
 
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