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Passions in Poetry

Disarming Toerag

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Balladeer
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since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


0 posted 11-23-1999 10:33 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

I think there's something you should know
About my good ole buddy Toe.
He dazzles us with all his charms
But Toerag's got no legs or arms!

Some say it was a birth defect.
Some say it happened in a wreck.
Some say it was a jealous wife
Who chopped him with a carving knife.

Whichever one the truth may be
Poor Toerag is a sight to see!
He looks so funny sitting there
Like a sack of flour in a chair.

One gal I know, sweet Betty Draper
Put a want ad in the local paper
Looking for a man to treat her right
And give her lots of sweet delight.

Next day she heard the doorbell ring
She went there and saw quite a thing!
Our buddy Toerag sitting there,
Comfy in his padded chair.

He said, "I'm here to fill your ad."
She said, "Now, mister, don't get mad.
You've got no arms or legs there....right?
How are you going to delight?"

Toerag put on a little leer
With smile that went from ear to ear.
He said, with twinkle in his eye,
"I rang your doorbell, didn't I?"
© Copyright 1999 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved
Marge Tindal
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since 11-06-1999
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Florida's Foreverly Shores


1 posted 11-23-1999 10:40 PM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

LOL ! LOL ! LOL ! LOL ! LOL ! LOL ! LOL !
Oh, Balladeer .... now you've gone and done it.
Just made that Toe ... the most desirable fellow on the site !

COME ON TOE ..... RING MY BELL !

------------------
~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com
Denise
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since 08-22-99
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2 posted 11-23-1999 10:42 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

You and Toerag are enough to keep me in stitches from laughing for the rest of my life! Oh so HILLARIOUS, Balladeer!

------------------
Denise

pandora
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since 07-26-99
Posts 253


3 posted 11-23-1999 10:46 PM       View Profile for pandora   Email pandora   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for pandora

Very funny, indeed! LOL. What an image!

I wonder why his name is Toe instead of Bob or Art or Matt or Russell or... oh never mind... dumb old jokes. I wonder if this was the girl with one leg shorter than the other... Eileen... oh never mind. Sorry.. hehe

Seriously, funny poem, Michael.

luv, pan
Balladeer
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4 posted 11-23-1999 11:03 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Hehe..glad you all liked it.

No, Pandora, that girl with one leg shorter than the other was Japanese...Irene.
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 07-22-99
Posts 9561
Illinois


5 posted 11-23-1999 11:17 PM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

You out did yourself! This was HILLARIOUS!
Rang my bell, too funny! But I guess that wasn't a finger we saw sticking up in that picture then was it? hehehe
Sally S.
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since 06-07-99
Posts 887
Ohio


6 posted 11-24-1999 12:52 AM       View Profile for Sally S.   Email Sally S.   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sally S.

LOL!!!
Hey, you leave poor 'ol toeless Toe alone!! Shame on you!!!! tsk...tsk....
suthern
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on the threshold of a dream


7 posted 11-24-1999 07:24 AM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

So what's a missing arm or leg?
When Toe's around, the women beg!
So there's no lap on which to sit?
I'd rather have his charming wit!
He'll still achieve a lady's pleasure
Disarmed or not, our Toe's a treasure!
He's got what it takes, never fear...
And still better looking than Balladeer!
Toerag
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since 07-29-99
Posts 5839
Ala bam a


8 posted 11-24-1999 08:16 AM       View Profile for Toerag   Email Toerag   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Toerag

DING-DONG.....(You should hear how loud I can knock too!)
Balladeer
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9 posted 11-24-1999 08:26 AM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Oh, Suthern, I am so sorry. I had heard you were having severe medical problems I didn't realize until now that your eyesight was going, too! very sad.....
Pepper
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since 08-19-99
Posts 3134
Southern Florida

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10 posted 11-24-1999 08:28 AM       View Profile for Pepper   Email Pepper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pepper

lol...this is a riot!!
Your turn Toe.......

------------------
A soul that writes from the heart and shares it, truly gives a gift extraordinaire!

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


11 posted 11-24-1999 08:35 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

LOL
Andrew Scott
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since 06-24-99
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Redlands,CA,USA


12 posted 11-24-1999 04:20 PM       View Profile for Andrew Scott   Email Andrew Scott   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Andrew Scott

LOLOL.... To damn funny! So let me get this straight... the deaf have better sight... the blind have better hearing... and the tasteless have longer tongues. Ya, that about sums it up. Sorry for not being more PC.
Julie
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since 08-20-99
Posts 742
Houston, TX


13 posted 11-24-1999 09:51 PM       View Profile for Julie   Email Julie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Julie

***ding-dong****...Toe calling..."Why Toe is that a ruler in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?"......
ROFL...Bal...shouldn't be beefing up your rival like that...
Nan
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since 05-20-99
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Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


14 posted 11-24-1999 10:16 PM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

How is it that he has a TOE if he has no legs? I just don't get it...... (having a blonde day).....
poetFemmeFatale
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since 07-25-99
Posts 2961
Arkansas


15 posted 11-24-1999 10:24 PM       View Profile for poetFemmeFatale   Email poetFemmeFatale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for poetFemmeFatale

(grinning devilishly) dear Nan, you hear how men often have 3 legs? Well, this poor fella has no legs and one little toe....LMAO! Or wait, according to what he proclaims in Adult, it's um....somewhat bigger than a little toe...those are usually pretty small and stumpy! hehe AND, there's no way he could have rang the doorbell! Oh gees, I'm all confused...
Psstt....hey 'deer, very funny ditty here! Loved it !!
Nurse Crachet
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since 09-27-1999
Posts 321
They know where I am!


16 posted 12-03-1999 06:06 PM       View Profile for Nurse Crachet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Nurse Crachet

I think the Toe man needs to come ring the bell at the Stute.
RainbowGirl
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since 07-31-99
Posts 3167
United Kingdom


17 posted 12-03-1999 07:44 PM       View Profile for RainbowGirl   Email RainbowGirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit RainbowGirl's Home Page   View IP for RainbowGirl

ROFL@Nan with a toe and no leg.....Oh dear, if I didn't know better I'd say you were blonde....ooops, I'm kidding Nan, all the blonde's that I know use the photocopier to make more blank paper....

HUGS

------------------
Yesterday is but today's memory and tomorrow is today's dream...
jcthaman
Junior Member
since 11-27-1999
Posts 22
Hershey, PA, USA


18 posted 12-03-1999 07:52 PM       View Profile for jcthaman   Email jcthaman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for jcthaman

hahahaha....this was so funny i just had to reply. great poem!
Nan
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Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


19 posted 12-03-1999 09:27 PM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

Yep - RG - I'm blonde - slightly sullied by age, but blonde, nonetheless......
Willem
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since 11-18-1999
Posts 141
Inverness, FL, USA


20 posted 12-03-1999 11:20 PM       View Profile for Willem   Email Willem   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Willem

I don't know why Toerag responded to this
poem. Am I CO (culturally obsolete)?
Love y'all anyways.

Willem
 
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