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Passions in Poetry

It's not okay

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Giggles
Junior Member
since 11-21-1999
Posts 15


0 posted 11-21-1999 07:47 PM       View Profile for Giggles   Email Giggles   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Giggles

Hey people, this is my first time really writing poetry. Please tell me what you think, if it sucks, tell me it sucks, if it's good, please tell me its good. Thank you! Here goes...

Now,
because, as you so simply put it,
ďMy feelings have changed,Ē
I am expected
to go on living life,
pretending
itís okay.

But itís not.
While I cry,
Iím wishing for someone
to hold me and comfort me.
But youíre not here,
so I must learn to comfort myself.
And when my tears fall,
I must learn to catch them myself,
instead of waiting for you to come back,
and brush them away.

I wish I had a say,
in what goes on around here.
Because,
to me,
itís not okay.

I want the real you back.
The you that made me smile,
not cry.
The you that made
the good times and laughs,
come so easily.
I want the real you,
the you I still love,
by my side.

When you have shared
as much as you and I have,
our hearts, dreams,
thoughts and fears,
when you know someone
well enough
to see sadness behind
a smile,
when two people believe
in one another,
you can be sure itís love.
Because you have felt it.
Love is a blanket that
comforts you and
a handkerchief that
catches your tears.
Love is having someone
to share with you
every challenge,
every joy,
every trial in your life.

I still need you,
and want to share
every challenge,
every joy,
and every trial in my life
with you.
But if you donít need me,
and you think itís okay,
then you will go.
I will miss you.
I wonít pretend itís okay,
because itís not.
But I will learn to comfort myself.
I wonít hold on.
But Iím not yet ready to
catch my own tears.

Because you said,
ďMy feelings have changed,Ē
I am expected
to go on living life,
pretending
itís okay.

But itís not.

ďIf you love something, let it go,
if it comes back to you, it's yours,
if it doesn't, it never was.Ē


[This message has been edited by Giggles (edited 11-28-1999).]
© Copyright 1999 Becky - All Rights Reserved
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


1 posted 11-21-1999 07:50 PM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Well I don't think anyone here would tell you it sucks Giggles! And it doesn't - I get a good feel of the emotion in this. For a first attempt at freeverse I would say you have done quite well - and welcome to Passions!
Giggles
Junior Member
since 11-21-1999
Posts 15


2 posted 11-21-1999 08:34 PM       View Profile for Giggles   Email Giggles   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Giggles

Thanks Severn. I was pretty nervous about putting my feelings on the web.
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


3 posted 11-21-1999 09:18 PM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Yes - that's understandable, it carries its risks like anything does - I hope you'll feel safe here.
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


4 posted 11-21-1999 09:27 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Welcome to Passions Giggles, what a heartfelt piece
Carrie
Junior Member
since 11-18-1999
Posts 11
lithia springs,GA,USA


5 posted 11-21-1999 10:00 PM       View Profile for Carrie   Email Carrie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Carrie

Your poetry moves me. I understand how you feel and where it was going. You have the talent. Thats was so cool. You put into words the way I feel and i can connect to the feelings in this poem. Keep up the good work!
Carrie
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


6 posted 11-21-1999 10:05 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Welcome to Passions! Touching poem.

------------------
Denise

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


7 posted 11-21-1999 10:10 PM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Welcome *Giggles*

S-uch
U-nderstanding
C-aring
K-ind
S-entiment

It Rocks

------------------
~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com
Giggles
Junior Member
since 11-21-1999
Posts 15


8 posted 11-22-1999 08:46 PM       View Profile for Giggles   Email Giggles   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Giggles

Thank you everyone. I really do feel welcome here.
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