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Open Poetry #4
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Balladeer
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

0 posted 1999-11-21 07:23 PM


I had a hamster in a cage
That used to give me smiles.
It ran forever in one place
For what would seem like miles.

That creature ran that small treadmill
From dawn to setting sun.
I used to wonder to myself...
What makes that hamster run?

It wasn't going anywhere.
It only ran in place.
Its energy was wasted as
It kept a frenzied pace.

Yet, on and on, from dusk till dawn
He ran his endless quest.
Well, it was just the silly way
Of hamsters, I had guessed.

************************************

My lover dumped me late last week,
Just told me with a sigh
That she had found another and
She had to say goodbye.

She said I was a real sport.
She wants me as a friend
But love that I had counted on
Had reached a sudden end.

I tried to keep stiff upper lip.
I calmly said goodbye.
Then, as she walked out my life,
I laid down for a cry.

How many times had I been through
This same scenario?
To meet someone and fall in love
And then to watch them go?

My life, it seemed, was nothing more
Than one long, sad parade
Of lovers coming....lovers going....
No one ever stayed.

I laid down on the bed. My eyes
Were dripping misery....
The hamster had stopped running and
Was staring down at me.

He stared at me - I stared at him.
'Twas as if he read my mind
And, through some quirk of nature, seemed
Our thoughts were intertwined.

I stared at him - he stared at me.
The minutes slowly passed
Till, finally, I smiled and knew
I understood at last.

By now the dawn was breaking. I
Heard birds sing, cheerily.
I took my hamster friend outside....
And then I set him free.

© Copyright 1999 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

1 posted 1999-11-21 07:39 PM


Ahhhhhhhh this is so precious! How sweet!

------------------
Denise


Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

2 posted 1999-11-21 07:46 PM


Wisdom wisdom wisdom...
Bravo Balladeer, bravo.

Julie
Senior Member
since 1999-08-20
Posts 739
Houston, TX
3 posted 1999-11-21 07:47 PM


Bravo! You are truly amazing Balladeer!
Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187
St. Paul, MN
4 posted 1999-11-21 08:13 PM


I was surprised by how it turned out after being titled "Hamster." Great piece Balladeer, thoroughly enjoyed


------------------
"'Cause there's a hunger, a longing to escape, from the life I live when I'm awake" - Creed - "Higher"


[This message has been edited by Dusk Treader (edited 11-21-1999).]

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
5 posted 1999-11-21 08:18 PM


Ah, I do like Balladeer. Can certainly relate to that poor hampster caught up in this rat race we call life
RobertB
Senior Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 1104
Champaign, IL
6 posted 1999-11-21 08:47 PM


hey Balladeer....for a few lines I wondered where in the world this was going when it jumped from Hamster to lost love! Thanks for tying it all together...though a sad note: last week I ran over some hamster that was turned loose. I think it committed suicide.

j/k!!

RB

------------------
if you can dream; you can fly...if you are flying; you are dreaming.

Ohme
Senior Member
since 1999-07-17
Posts 816
Texas
7 posted 1999-11-21 09:44 PM


I love it, Balladeer.

------------------
Yesterday is history, tomorrow just a mystery. And if today is good to me how could I ask for more?

John Yaws
Senior Member
since 1999-10-09
Posts 860
Texas
8 posted 1999-11-21 10:20 PM


My Friend, I still must bow to the master of rhyme. I love your style...of course mine is simialar, but not nearly as refined. another GREAT poem.
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
9 posted 1999-11-21 10:36 PM


This was unique. Sad Balladeer.
Very well written

[This message has been edited by WhtDove (edited 11-21-1999).]

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
10 posted 1999-11-21 10:50 PM


This was such a great poem Balladeer. I read it and then well, wow! was how I felt. Very sensitively written.
Twilight_Angel
Junior Member
since 1999-08-07
Posts 22
USA
11 posted 1999-11-21 10:55 PM


How meaningful! The way you taught this lesson was so touching and sweet. Perfect!
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
12 posted 1999-11-22 09:48 AM


Ah, I see the Dr. Doo-littling...great piece!
Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
13 posted 1999-11-22 09:52 AM


Lessee?...Okay, put two and two together...Your girlfriend thought of you as a rodent?..So? she set you free, and you set the hamster free?....Yea, I got it....

Very well done Balladeer....
BTW...you didn't let the hamster go in some little old ladies house that said she didn't need a pest control contract didja?

broker6
Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 132
Bellevue, NE, Sarpy
14 posted 1999-11-22 10:10 AM


My former mother-in-law used to scrinch up her face and say, You know, he's kinda peculiar. I thought I was going to have to say that about you. But you pulled this off quite nicely. I like poems that start here and end over there . . . that take you on a little journey.

broker6

Iloveit
Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 1121
NM
15 posted 1999-11-22 10:12 AM


gonna ditto whtdove on this one, very nice my friend, but then of course shortly after dittoing whtdove, I will be ROFG@letting the hamster go in an old ladies house....

great work balladeer, loved this

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
16 posted 1999-11-22 10:52 AM


As soon as I can quit giggling at the thought of the suicidal hamster or that ole lady reconsidering her need for a rodent contract, I'll be able to tell Balladeer what a great poem this is! LOL.

Ahhh, 'Deer... you did set yourself up to be called a dirty rat! *G* Well done!!! (as I giggle again *G*)

[This message has been edited by suthern (edited 11-22-1999).]

Marilyn
Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada
17 posted 1999-11-22 10:54 AM


What can I say Sir? Another master piece!
Balladeer
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
18 posted 1999-11-22 10:59 AM


Wow! What a range of responses! Thank you all for the kind words.

Robert, ya ran over my hamster?! Oh, no! Well, just goes to show you sometimes we're better off in a controlled environment.

Toe, I should get paid for setting myself up so easily for your wit. ROTFLMAO!! Yep, that's it...two rodents set free. Thanks for not disappointing me!

Broker6...well, I'm glad I dodged 'peculiar' this time. But there's always next time....

Again, thanks to all of you.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
19 posted 1999-11-22 12:37 PM


Balladeer,
Two poems in one,
So that's what made sammy run?
Great poem.

tori
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 520
Mechanicsville, Maryland, USA
20 posted 1999-11-22 02:05 PM


Balladeer you crack me up... loved it..I did the same thing with geribles.after they ate the second habbit trail .. now I think I've got a cross breed of geri-moles eating my garden.. lol
doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
21 posted 1999-11-22 11:47 PM


Ok, it's my turn.

Well... I'm sorta embarrassed to say that I don't get it.

Seriously. I don't get this poem. I mean, I LIKE the story and everything.. I can SEE that hamster going around and around and frankly, I thought the poem was going to be about what hootowl said... about being "caught up in the race we call life".

Ummm.. well, then you changed it to the loving and losing love thing.. and that was cool.... and I expected it to be tied together somehow and everybody here seems to get it but me!?!

Could you help me out here, Michael, m'friend? How does it tie together? What do you mean to imply when you go let the hamster free and how does that relate to your loves that didn't work out?

Could it be that Toerag was on the money here? Like... what you're trying to say is... no WONDER they let you free (those lovers of yours), because you were just going around and around in circles and not getting anywhere and they didn't want to be stuck with some hamster on a treadmill? or....

Were you trying to say that love hurts and nobody wants to be in a cage?

or...

Were you trying to say that love can make you spin around in circles over and over but when it's all over, you really don't want to be loved and don't want the commitment, but you only want your freedom.... if you were a hamster?.... or

Were you trying to say that no matter how comfortable it seems for that hamster in that cage with it's wheel spinning around on its axis, you can't quite put your finger on it, but something isn't right and you've got to get out and when you are let out, you are upset about it, but you get back on the treadmill and do it all over again trying to fill that void?

LOL... as you can see... I got a LOT out of this poem!!! It really made me think. Thanks much, Michael. I hope you didn't mind my questions instead of telling you how much I liked the poem... which I obviously did.

luv ya babe, doreen

RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023
United Kingdom
22 posted 1999-11-23 12:26 PM


Well, at gone 5am, I think it's about making the most and letting go but then I never did understand my own thinking..LOL

So, I'll settle for Bal being worried about the poor little hammy only having two places to go..*g*

HUSG

------------------
You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.

Cinderella
Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 152
Arizona
23 posted 1999-11-23 11:48 PM


I know how hamsters multiply...and so do your marvelous poems!
Sally S.
Senior Member
since 1999-06-07
Posts 847
Ohio
24 posted 1999-11-24 12:42 PM


Doreen,
Well, only Mike can tell you exactly what he meant but, here's my take on it....

You can not hold someone (or something) that yearns to be free. Lovers coming and going....a hamster that longed for freedom.
In the end, he felt content because he realized it wasn't him at all..it was nature.

ok....now, tell her I'm all wrong sweetie. LOL

poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646
Arkansas
25 posted 1999-11-25 02:07 AM


Well, I echo the "unique" comment!
My first thought was, "If you love someone, you gotta let 'em go!" You know, that old line....I'm probably wrong too though - Balladeer has some intellectual explanation, I'm sure!
*** Set them free - all the rodents! hehe I'm tired.

Balladeer
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
26 posted 1999-11-26 04:30 PM


Well, I'm gonna try to explain this...and probably botch it very badly. The hamster runs, and keeps running, day after day, week after week, etc with no chance of escaping its existence but just continues running, against all hopes but still with hopes (if hamsters hope)that someday the path will straighten out and his journey will come to an end.
The man has gone through countless love affairs, none of which have worked out He's questioning why he should continue, why keep trying, why keep running in circles...like a hamster, for example. The hamster shows him that human nature is like that and, no matter how impossible it may seem, there may be someone out there to make the wish realized and we must continue.
He proves this theory by releasing the hamster and then, knowing that it can happen (because he had just made it so for the hamster), he goes on with his own life, assured in the fact that, if he keeps trying there can be someone for him, too, who will come along and set him free.
I'm sure I explained it badly but it's my explanation.

PFF...you crack me up SO much!!!!!!!!

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
27 posted 1999-11-26 04:42 PM


Did I ever tell you the story about the flying squirrel we found running around the house? Well, flying squirrels aren't indigenous to this area, so we gave him a nice comfy cage with a snuggly warm nest in it.

The poor little guy, Glyde, seemed lonely though. Two days later, his flying squirrel lady friend was cavorting about the house as well... Now they're living in bliss - in the cage together - in the dining room!!! - No offspring yet...

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
28 posted 1999-11-26 05:14 PM


Nan, I can't tell you what it means to have you share that story with us!!!ROFLMAO!!
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