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Passions in Poetry

At Last I Call You Friend (Spenserian Sonnet?)

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Denise
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since 08-22-99
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0 posted 11-13-1999 04:50 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Denise

The last of fading light slips in my room
To cast its shadows long across the floor
The sun it seems is bowing to the gloom
Of looming painful night forevermore
For beacon's light I search the lonely shore
Horizon scan for any glimpse at all
The pain from out my soul begins to pour
As crashing waves of grief cause me to fall
My heart courageous beats yet can't forestall
The ravages this storm shall surely wreak
In youth I thought I'd rise above the pall
Of suffering, enshrouded days so bleak.

Yet agony, at last, I call you friend
For to His side you've led me in the end.


------------------
Denise



[This message has been edited by dsnyder (edited 11-13-1999).]
© Copyright 1999 Denise - All Rights Reserved
Skyfyre
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since 08-15-99
Posts 1966
Sitting in Michael's Lap


1 posted 11-13-1999 05:10 PM       View Profile for Skyfyre   Email Skyfyre   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Skyfyre

You have done quite well by this one!

Nocht

------------------
"Nunc lento sonitu dicunt, morierus"
Now as I hear this bell tolling softly for another, it says to me, "Thou must die."

Martie
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since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


2 posted 11-13-1999 05:20 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Bravo! Denise. Everything flowed so well and I liked the message.
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


3 posted 11-13-1999 05:26 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful poem
Elizabeth
Balladeer
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since 06-05-99
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Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


4 posted 11-13-1999 06:15 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

I echo Elizabeth's sentiments in triplicate, also, Denise.
Dr.Moose1
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since 09-05-99
Posts 3505
Bewilderment , USA


5 posted 11-13-1999 06:32 PM       View Profile for Dr.Moose1   Email Dr.Moose1   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dr.Moose1

Wonderfully written , cudos at least two !
No surprises here , you had it in you !
Sally S.
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since 06-07-99
Posts 887
Ohio


6 posted 11-13-1999 06:39 PM       View Profile for Sally S.   Email Sally S.   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sally S.

Well Denise, you certainly have the talent. Another lovely piece here!
Seymour Tabin
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since 07-07-99
Posts 32119
Tamarac Fla


7 posted 11-13-1999 06:56 PM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seymour Tabin

Denise,
No suprise to me, wonderful job.
John Yaws
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since 10-09-1999
Posts 865
Texas


8 posted 11-13-1999 08:48 PM       View Profile for John Yaws   Email John Yaws   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit John Yaws's Home Page   View IP for John Yaws

Beautiful. Very well crafted, and exquisitely atriculated.
caroline
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since 08-16-99
Posts 1251
http://members.xoom.com/bellad


9 posted 11-13-1999 09:02 PM       View Profile for caroline   Email caroline   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for caroline

Denise your talent shines like the sun
May I add my "Beautiful!" to the others!

------------------
"Tread softly, for I have spread my dreams under your feet"~~William Butler Yeats

Denise
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since 08-22-99
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10 posted 11-13-1999 11:10 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Wow! I guess I did it! I wasn't sure as I can't always here the rhythm when I write. I snuck into Nan's workshop a few times unbeknownst to anyone. I really didn't think I could pull it off, so I didn't bother to sign up. But this was fun and I think I will try more in the future. Thanks again for all your lovely comments and for taking the time to read what I write!

------------------
Denise

Systematic Decay
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since 09-15-99
Posts 1312
That place with padded walls a


11 posted 11-14-1999 12:44 PM       View Profile for Systematic Decay   Email Systematic Decay   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Systematic Decay

Denise, this is exquisite!

------------------
Thinking is just what a great many people think they are doing when they are merely rearranging their predjudices.


Pepper
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since 08-19-99
Posts 3134
Southern Florida

Official Passions Reader
12 posted 11-14-1999 12:55 PM       View Profile for Pepper   Email Pepper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pepper

Yes Denise..absolutely beautiful......

------------------
A soul that writes from the heart and shares it, truly gives a gift extraordinaire!

Denise
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since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


13 posted 11-14-1999 06:07 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Thanks, Sys and Pepper! I'm glad you think it is beautiful!

------------------
Denise

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


14 posted 11-15-1999 09:00 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Very beautiful, applauds your work
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


15 posted 11-15-1999 05:32 PM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Well the word beautiful has been used already, but it truly describes your poem well Denise. And knowing that you worked really hard on this makes it deserve that much more praise - well done!
Denise
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since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


16 posted 11-15-1999 07:54 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Thank you, Ruth and Severn for your kind words! I am so glad that you liked it!

------------------
Denise

Local Parasite
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since 11-05-2001
Posts 2929
Transylconia, Winnipeg


17 posted 04-29-2004 03:27 PM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

Very nice use of theme... I think you chose the right format for the job, it gave you enough room to be descriptive without exhausting your subject matter.

In particular I like the conclusiveness of your closing couplet... even if it caught me off guard, I think that's a good thing as it contrasts so well to the rest of the poem.

Really nice work---
Brian

"God becomes as we are that we may be as he is."  ~William Blake

 
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