Falling (does this poem need something??)

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Open Poetry #4

Falling (does this poem need something??)

RobertB
Senior Member

since 1999-09-26

Posts 1104
Champaign, IL

0 posted 1999-11-12 10:31 PM

Falling

It's not so much the knife
that scares me-
as the words
that sever arteries
from the heart…
the thought from the feeling…
an emotion from the response
leaving me in pieces
at the feet of someone
wearing shoes I have never seen before.
For falling off a ladder
isn't from looking down,
falling out of bed
requires more than rolling over,
and falling out of love
is not just letting go……..

RB

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if you can dream; you can fly...if you are flying; you are dreaming.

Systematic Decay
Senior Member

since 1999-09-15

Posts 1301
That place with padded walls and funny people in white.........

1 posted 1999-11-12 10:34 PM

RB, I love this poem the way it is, I wouldn't change a thing.

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Thinking is just what a great many people think they are doing when they are merely rearranging their predjudices.

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

2 posted 1999-11-12 10:37 PM

Wow ! Powerful as it stands.

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~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Marilyn
Member Elite

since 1999-09-26

Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada

3 posted 1999-11-12 10:39 PM

Robert...love it just as it is...very powerful piece. Makes you think.

RobertB
Senior Member

since 1999-09-26

Posts 1104
Champaign, IL

4 posted 1999-11-12 10:42 PM

I wrote it awhile back and to read it tonight it seemed to lack a word or two.... maybe I am being too critical of myself

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if you can dream; you can fly...if you are flying; you are dreaming.

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

5 posted 1999-11-12 11:19 PM

I also think it is perfect the way it is. Very powerful.

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Denise

RobertB
Senior Member

since 1999-09-26

Posts 1104
Champaign, IL

6 posted 1999-11-12 11:28 PM

Then I shant mess with it

[This message has been edited by RobertB (edited 11-12-1999).]

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius

since 1999-07-05

Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

7 posted 1999-11-13 08:38 AM

Please don't change a thing, it's perfect as is

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Alis volat propriis
(She flies with her own wings)

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