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Passions in Poetry

Falling (does this poem need something??)

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RobertB
Senior Member
since 09-26-1999
Posts 1121
Champaign, IL


0 posted 11-12-1999 10:31 PM       View Profile for RobertB   Email RobertB   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for RobertB

Falling

It's not so much the knife
that scares me-
as the words
that sever arteries
from the heart…
the thought from the feeling…
an emotion from the response
leaving me in pieces
at the feet of someone
wearing shoes I have never seen before.
For falling off a ladder
isn't from looking down,
falling out of bed
requires more than rolling over,
and falling out of love
is not just letting go……..


RB



------------------
if you can dream; you can fly...if you are flying; you are dreaming.
© Copyright 1999 RobertB - All Rights Reserved
Systematic Decay
Senior Member
since 09-15-99
Posts 1312
That place with padded walls a


1 posted 11-12-1999 10:34 PM       View Profile for Systematic Decay   Email Systematic Decay   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Systematic Decay

RB, I love this poem the way it is, I wouldn't change a thing.

------------------
Thinking is just what a great many people think they are doing when they are merely rearranging their predjudices.


Marge Tindal
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Member Empyrean
since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


2 posted 11-12-1999 10:37 PM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Wow ! Powerful as it stands.

------------------
~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com
Marilyn
Member Elite
since 09-26-1999
Posts 2646
Ontario, Canada


3 posted 11-12-1999 10:39 PM       View Profile for Marilyn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marilyn

Robert...love it just as it is...very powerful piece. Makes you think.
RobertB
Senior Member
since 09-26-1999
Posts 1121
Champaign, IL


4 posted 11-12-1999 10:42 PM       View Profile for RobertB   Email RobertB   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for RobertB

I wrote it awhile back and to read it tonight it seemed to lack a word or two.... maybe I am being too critical of myself

------------------
if you can dream; you can fly...if you are flying; you are dreaming.
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


5 posted 11-12-1999 11:19 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

I also think it is perfect the way it is. Very powerful.

------------------
Denise

RobertB
Senior Member
since 09-26-1999
Posts 1121
Champaign, IL


6 posted 11-12-1999 11:28 PM       View Profile for RobertB   Email RobertB   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for RobertB

Then I shant mess with it

[This message has been edited by RobertB (edited 11-12-1999).]
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


7 posted 11-13-1999 08:38 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Please don't change a thing, it's perfect as is

------------------
Alis volat propriis
(She flies with her own wings)

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