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Passions in Poetry

Toerag the Eskimo

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Balladeer
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Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


0 posted 11-12-1999 02:46 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

One hot day last summer
My good buddy Toe
Went up north, Alaska way
To be an eskimo.

He asked the local honcho
Just what he had to do.
The chief said, "You must pass 3 tests.
That's all we ask of you."

"You must drive a husky dogsled
One hundred miles and back.
Then kill a ferocious grizzly
Before he can attack."

"Then, lastly, Toe, you must make love
To an Eskimo squaw.
Do these three things, you're one of us.
That is the Eskimo law."

Toe said, "No problem", grabbed the sled,
Hopped on and he was gone.
Next day he came back again and
Smiling, said "That's one".

He then ran up into the woods
As fast as he could go.
They all admired his strong desire
To be an eskimo.

The day passed, two, then three, then four
Still he did not arrive
At last he came back, drenched in blood,
And hardly still alive.

He finally said, "OK. That's two.
Boy! That was quite a thrill!
Now, where the hell's that Eskimo squaw
That I'm supposed to kill?"


© Copyright 1999 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


1 posted 11-12-1999 02:57 PM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LngJhnAg

LMAO@grizzly - Only the ol' scalawag would go that route - incidently, Toe - the EDskimko is in the New Orleans area
Poet deVine
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Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


2 posted 11-12-1999 03:03 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

It's a good think that bear didn't eat Toerag...though to tell you the truth, I love a good Eskimo Pie!!!


good one Sir!
Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 07-29-99
Posts 5839
Ala bam a


3 posted 11-12-1999 03:22 PM       View Profile for Toerag   Email Toerag   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Toerag

rolling on the floor "fuming" my ass off..and, your's is mine fella!! LOL
Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 07-29-99
Posts 5839
Ala bam a


4 posted 11-12-1999 03:38 PM       View Profile for Toerag   Email Toerag   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Toerag

I honestly love this guy.....I guess I should say I hate him! And I try so hard to hate this old fart.....and I'm usually quite adept at doing what I put my mind to. Oh well? I'm gonna hate him someday.....really, I will sooner or later....He does try so hard to motivate me.....

[This message has been edited by Toerag (edited 11-12-1999).]
suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


5 posted 11-12-1999 03:40 PM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

Motivated you right into another poem, hunh Toe? LOL (By the way... wanna rub noses? *G*)
RSEvans
Senior Member
since 10-23-1999
Posts 1187
Tulsa, OK, USA


6 posted 11-12-1999 03:48 PM       View Profile for RSEvans   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for RSEvans

I've been sitting here for ten minutes trying to figure out what to say and confidentially...I'm still laughing. Good one! I could use a chuckle.

------------------
Once I was brilliant, now I no longer shine, but the twinkle in my eye speaks of another time.
Andrew Scott
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since 06-24-99
Posts 2655
Redlands,CA,USA


7 posted 11-12-1999 03:50 PM       View Profile for Andrew Scott   Email Andrew Scott   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Andrew Scott

Sir Balladeer: Well done on the rework of a great joke. Didn't know anybody else knew that one. Oh... and I'm sure that Toe "drove" the dogs too... wink... wink... know what I mean... know what I mean.
Marilyn
Member Elite
since 09-26-1999
Posts 2646
Ontario, Canada


8 posted 11-12-1999 04:00 PM       View Profile for Marilyn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marilyn

Great verse Balladeer Sir....LOL

Toe hon...I learn more and more about you as I read here. Fruit and bears and dogs???...whew hon...when do you sleep?..lol.
Craig
Senior Member
since 06-10-99
Posts 882


9 posted 11-12-1999 06:39 PM       View Profile for Craig   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Craig


I knew this was going to be good before I read it ( it had your name on the front of it ). I wasn't Disappointed!!!

Funniest thing I've read for a very long time.

Well done.



------------------
Yes, I admit your general rule. That every poet is a fool:
But I myself may serve to show it. That every fool is not a poet.

Denise
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Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


10 posted 11-12-1999 08:17 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Funny one! Looks like you guys are going at it again! Lots of laughs all around!

------------------
Denise

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


11 posted 11-12-1999 08:44 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

ROFLMAO....so funny

------------------
Alis volat propriis
(She flies with her own wings)
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 07-07-99
Posts 32119
Tamarac Fla


12 posted 11-12-1999 09:15 PM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seymour Tabin

Toe,
To be written about by Ballader is a certain honour.
Went it turns into history you will be a prima donna.
X Angel
Senior Member
since 11-07-1999
Posts 1592
Oregon


13 posted 11-13-1999 01:55 AM       View Profile for X Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for X Angel

I'm dyin' from laughing so hard.....I learn somethin' new every day 'round here *wink*
~X~

------------------
"We have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night" (Tombstone epitaph of two amateur astronomers)
Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 07-29-99
Posts 5839
Ala bam a


14 posted 11-13-1999 10:15 AM       View Profile for Toerag   Email Toerag   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Toerag

There's nuthin the least thing funny about this poem....The author is so full of "something" that he can't run! (Besides, I never did find that Eskimo squaw!)Anyone wanna rub noses?

[This message has been edited by Toerag (edited 11-13-1999).]
Ohme
Senior Member
since 07-17-99
Posts 831
Texas


15 posted 11-13-1999 10:35 AM       View Profile for Ohme   Email Ohme   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ohme

Balladeer, I can count on you to give me a sad tear or a good belly laugh. Guess we need a good share of both, Huh?

Toe, you just keep on being yourself and I know I'll get a good belly laugh.

------------------
I look forward to tomorrow, while looking back on the past. But today is the day I am living. And I expect it to be a great day!
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


16 posted 11-14-1999 02:17 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Think I just broke a eardrum laughing out loud...too cute 'Deer!
Iloveit
Senior Member
since 09-02-99
Posts 1168
NM


17 posted 11-15-1999 09:38 AM       View Profile for Iloveit   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Iloveit

ROFG this is just too cute
RosePetal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 08-26-2001
Posts 3414
South Florida


18 posted 12-04-2001 10:18 PM       View Profile for RosePetal   Email RosePetal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for RosePetal

Soooo cute brilliant Balladeer!
I missed this one because I wasn't a member back when you wrote this , heheheh.
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


19 posted 12-05-2001 10:37 AM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Balladeer~
Tee-Hee !  Love this~
Love you~  You da man ! !
*Hugs*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
     noles1@totcon.com                

TexUS
Member
since 03-20-2003
Posts 228


20 posted 08-10-2004 10:45 PM       View Profile for TexUS   Email TexUS   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for TexUS

THAT was just TOO funny!

THANKS for the laugh!
 
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