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Passions in Poetry

Song will bring us back

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vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 10-22-1999
Posts 10748
USA


0 posted 11-12-1999 11:05 AM       View Profile for vandana   Email vandana   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for vandana

I thought,
Love was the one who broke our hearts,
As years gone by,
Everyday,I pray,
For the love would bring us back,
Do you know, everytime,
I listen to our song,
It brings me back of those days,
We used to sing all the time,
We never wanted to say goodbye,
But it seems everytime we used to make,
make mistakes,
We fall apart,
Eachtime,
We used to try to come back on the right track,
But we didn't ,
Now time has come,
Maybe,The song 'll bring us back together,
Yes,maybe one day,
You'll realise that the song meant something to us,
When we were together,
© Copyright 1999 vandana - All Rights Reserved
Mike
Member Elite
since 06-19-99
Posts 2528


1 posted 11-12-1999 10:04 PM       View Profile for Mike   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mike

Enjoyed your poem Vandana.
Systematic Decay
Senior Member
since 09-15-99
Posts 1312
That place with padded walls a


2 posted 11-13-1999 11:13 AM       View Profile for Systematic Decay   Email Systematic Decay   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Systematic Decay

**sigh**

The IDEA of the poem is very wistful....but I think you should let this poem go a little slower....it seemed rushed....maybe add some more ".........."s and some words that are long and graceful to say, such as melancholy, wistful, descriptives such as gossamer, silken, silver, and so on.

------------------
Thinking is just what a great many people think they are doing when they are merely rearranging their predjudices.


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