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Passions in Poetry

Her Scent

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broker6
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since 11-07-1999
Posts 130
Bellevue, NE, Sarpy


0 posted 11-12-1999 10:18 AM       View Profile for broker6   Email broker6   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for broker6


Her Scent
by Richard J. Budig 1996


Used to be, she'd come down from her bath
In an old red housecoat with no make-up . . .
Natural, feminine, and very earthy.
She'd close the doors, pull the curtains . . .
Shut the house against the uncertain night
So that it was just me and her,
Safe and secure in our fortress of light.
It was a special time for me . . . seeing her
Without paint, potions, lotions and nostrums.
Without all the trimmings and accents.
What I saw was what I got . . .
A woman who glowed with an inner light,
Whose eyes danced without liner,
Whose face shone without make-up,
Whose body smelled clean and fresh,
Whose breath was milky like a cat.
I liked to cuddle with her then,
I liked it when her scent washed over me,
Clean,
And fresh,
And milky,
And tender.
© Copyright 1999 broker6 - All Rights Reserved
Poet deVine
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since 05-26-99
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Hurricane Alley


1 posted 11-12-1999 10:35 AM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Beautiful! I love this poem Richard!
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


2 posted 11-12-1999 12:15 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Absolutely beautiful Richard
Martie
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since 09-21-1999
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California


3 posted 11-26-1999 10:37 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

This is so sensual and sweet and sure. Loved it!
Denise
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since 08-22-99
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4 posted 11-26-1999 10:40 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

I missed this before. This is beautiful and heartfelt! Very nice!

------------------
Denise

Balladeer
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5 posted 11-26-1999 10:47 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

This is, indeed, excellent. One point that really strikes me, though, is the past tense used. Could you elaborate....or telling me to mind my own business is also acceptable.
broker6
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since 11-07-1999
Posts 130
Bellevue, NE, Sarpy


6 posted 11-26-1999 11:57 PM       View Profile for broker6   Email broker6   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for broker6

I used past tense because we were no longer together when I wrote this. And, if you think about it, this kind of piece wouldn't quite go right in the present tense . . . do you think? It's a reflective thing, the kind of thing one things back on.
Balladeer
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7 posted 11-27-1999 12:20 AM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Thanks for the info, broker. No, the poem wouldn't have the same impact in present tense for sure but the final words "and I still do" would cover that nicely. Again, excellent writing.
Marge Tindal
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since 11-06-1999
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8 posted 11-27-1999 12:41 AM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Richard - Very sensual remembrances.
I like it.

------------------
~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com
Nan
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since 05-20-99
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Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


9 posted 11-27-1999 08:54 AM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

Richard, this lady was a very lucky one indeed to have such devotion from you. I truly hope she was appreciative...
Pepper
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since 08-19-99
Posts 3134
Southern Florida

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10 posted 11-27-1999 09:02 AM       View Profile for Pepper   Email Pepper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pepper

Love this piece Richard!! I am saving this in my favorites' file.....
Very sensual and great imagery...!

------------------
A soul that writes from the heart and shares it, truly gives a gift extraordinaire!

 
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