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Open Poetry #4
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suthern
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since 1999-07-29
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Louisiana

0 posted 1999-11-09 09:34 AM


Clutching close my invitation
I enter with much trepidation.
I glance to where you're holding court...
Your laugh rings out, your friends cavort
With such glee.
I wonder why I came tonight -
Thoughts of arms holding me tight
Seem foolish even to this dreamer.
Your eyes are on that brazen schemer
Not on me.
I wish that I could get away
Before I have to hear you say
Your heart belongs to another.
I try to breathe, I almost smother
All alone.
But the dance continues as I cry
Whirls of color whisper by.
I gaze with longing at the door -
I must cross that endless floor
To get home.

© Copyright 1999 suthern - All Rights Reserved
Seymour Tabin
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since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
1 posted 1999-11-09 09:37 AM


Suthern,
One fine piece of work, enjoyed the poem.

Iloveit
Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 1121
NM
2 posted 1999-11-09 09:40 AM


suthern I love the way you write, you paint such a vivid picture, felt like I was standing there too.....great poem
X Angel
Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521
Oregon
3 posted 1999-11-09 09:40 AM


Hmmph! What a meanie! Great poem
X

------------------
"We have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night" (Tombstone epitaph of two amateur astronomers)

Lost Dreamer
Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464
Somewhere near the Rainbow
4 posted 1999-11-09 09:42 AM


Very nice, I really enjoyed this one. You need to write more often so we can enjoy your talent.
Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
5 posted 1999-11-09 09:48 AM


Yassee? I have to play hookie from class to read this! Lost Dreamer, I've been telling her and telling her to write....But nooooooo! As soon as I give up telling her to do things, the silly @$%%$ goes and does it? Wimmin!
Iloveit
Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 1121
NM
6 posted 1999-11-09 09:50 AM


ROFG@Wimmin......lol ain't we sumpthin?

and yep suthern's the cream of the sumpthins
or something like that, its supposed to read as a compliment, but I got lost in the wording lol, you know I love you girl...and yep will agree with toe....WRITE MORE!

suthern
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Louisiana
7 posted 1999-11-09 09:51 AM


Thank you all very much for your kind comments... I'd almost posted this one yesterday when I found it (it's an oldie that I was trying to avoid having to retype *G*)... but I'm so glad I didn't. I don't post that often, but as luck would have it, I've posted a poem and watched Open #1 freeze up, posted a poem and despaired as Open #2 cratered... I think I would have had to take it personally if I'd posted yesterday and closed down Open #3! LOL. Again, thanks...
suthern
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Louisiana
8 posted 1999-11-09 09:53 AM


Toerag: Well I keep giving you other offers, sweets... of all the things I'd like to do... Can ya blame me if writing isn't top on my list?? LOL.

Lovey: Watch it, gal... or you'll get sour cream! LOL

RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023
United Kingdom
9 posted 1999-11-09 10:07 AM


Well done my friend, excellent as always but what a fool he was...

HUSG

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You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.

Blondie
Member
since 1999-08-06
Posts 307
Ohio
10 posted 1999-11-09 10:22 AM


Wonderful piece here suthern, I really enjoyed it!
Pepper
Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079
Southern Florida
11 posted 1999-11-09 10:45 AM


Suthern, I too enjoy your writing and like the others would like to see more
Great poem here....



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A soul that writes from the heart and shares it, truly gives a gift extraordinaire!


hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
12 posted 1999-11-09 11:56 AM


Nice

------------------
Alis volat propriis
(She flies with her own wings)

suthern
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Louisiana
13 posted 1999-11-09 12:03 PM


Thank you, ladies... I'm glad you liked!

RG: Nope... I'm the fool. *S*

Pepper: I could say the same about you! *G* Thanks!


fatwah
Junior Member
since 1999-11-04
Posts 16

14 posted 1999-11-09 12:22 PM


very nice, i enjoyed this a lo.
ps. what has happened to watcher?

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
15 posted 1999-11-09 02:38 PM


Suthern, this poem is very, very well written, rhyme, style, meter, the whole ball of wax.

You have to expect these things by tagging around that cavortin' Toerag, though. Such a heartless lug he is. I know for a fact he scotch tapes worms to the sidewalk just to watch birds get hernias!

[This message has been edited by Balladeer (edited 11-09-1999).]

suthern
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Louisiana
16 posted 1999-11-09 02:43 PM


'Deer: Say what??? Just a sec while I pick up my dentures. *G* I don't think I've ever had rhyme or meter complimented... (though some do like my style! LOL... Ooops... back to poetry! *G*)

And as soon as I finish ROFLMAO @ birdie hernias, you know you're in for a scolding for bad-mouthing that sweet Toe AGAIN! *G*

Aurora's Fire
Junior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 28
Oshawa, Ontario, Canada
17 posted 1999-11-09 05:50 PM


My favourite lines "But the dance continues as I cry Whirls of color whisper by" very nice, but very sad.
Munda
Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544
The Hague, The Netherlands
18 posted 1999-11-09 07:02 PM


I like this a lot Suthern. : )
Saxoness
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since 1999-07-18
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Texas
19 posted 1999-11-09 09:24 PM


ya ya, very sad, i was standin right beside ya....i was blended into the paper.

------------------
"Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone
I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me."

-Charles Brugnot



Denise
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

20 posted 1999-11-09 11:05 PM


Very well done, Suthern!

------------------
Denise


Michael
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Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
21 posted 1999-11-10 12:17 PM


Been on that endless floor myself, it's like you take a step and the room stretches out 3 or 4 feet in front of you. Very enjoyable poem, suthern.


Michael

JTF
Member
since 1999-08-09
Posts 319
France
22 posted 1999-11-10 04:15 AM


Beautiful Auntie ... ... and I ditto Lovey (she hasn't been dittoed for so long, she forgot how it feels ... lol) ... you should write more ...

ps : and you have to tell the Frenchie what a schemer is

SMOOCH !

[This message has been edited by JTF (edited 11-10-1999).]

Watcher666
Senior Member
since 1999-10-13
Posts 1606

23 posted 1999-11-10 04:16 AM


Know this feeling well.Well done!

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Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you.

Alison
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Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
24 posted 2011-02-27 02:18 PM


Oh yeah.  I have been here, there and watched the dance.  Damn, I love your writing.

Alison

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