Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
Atta girl..you're always a quick study
In the spirit of stating how teachers are always hardest on the students they admire the most, now you just need to clean up the meter in two lines
Ice paintings then freeze the trees
As branches bend to their knees
They blow the meter, which is perfect in all other lines.
ICE PAINT-ings then FREEZE the TREES
as BRANCHes BEND to their KNEES
You have taken them down to 7 syllables instead of 8. Yes, in line two of the first stanza you did the same but, beginning the line trochaic, it can become implied iambic which makes it ok. The ICE PAINTing line begins with a spondee, not a trochee so it throws the rhythm off. In the second line, it's iambic, minus one long syllable.
Nor sure how to fix the first line, since ICE PAINTings is not reparable. You would need a different thought, something like...
(trochaic - implied iambic)
WInter's paintings freeze the trees
Bending branches to their knees.
Ice paint of winter freezes trees
As branches bend down to their knees.
Hey, just like old times, Alison! Love ya!
(I shall now go outside and check my branches for knees)