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Passions in Poetry

Let's have your Best!

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Balladeer
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0 posted 06-15-2011 09:58 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

We have all written a lot of poems. Out of all we have written there is always one, perhaps two, which we consider our finest.

What's yours?

Let's see the one poem that you consider to be the best you have done. Tell us why. What is it about the poem that makes you consider it that way? The construction? The flow? The phraseology? The passion? The message?

Toot your horn. Say "This is my best" and tell us why.
Dr.Moose1
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since 09-05-99
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1 posted 06-16-2011 07:51 AM       View Profile for Dr.Moose1   Email Dr.Moose1   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dr.Moose1

Balladeer
Out of all I have written,I would have to say "Sir Rulian Blue" is my best effort. Ballad form (no surprise there) subject matter most of us as poets can relate to.
A combination of end rhyme and internal rhyme, a decent flow if somewhat over-punctuated, and a killer end line. I'm more than a little curious, what's yours?
Balladeer
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2 posted 06-16-2011 08:49 AM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Very nice, doc. I can understand why it would be a favorite of yours. Please allow me to say that your meter, flow and expertise has vastly improved in the years since....wich also fits in with the theme of your poem
Balladeer
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3 posted 06-16-2011 09:53 AM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

My favorite of mine?? Interesting question. I think most would expect me to say Small Pain in My Chest" since it has been widely used. It was read at the funeral of a Blackhawk pilot shot down in Iraq. It is required reading in the high school literature books in India and there are many good stories and accolades associated with it. It has been used by pro-war AND anti-war groups...quite a feat!  

From a writing standpoint, however, it is not my favorite....that would go to "The Robot". I like the flow and there were several lines that I was proud of for their flow and ease of reading...such as..

"I love you, robot", she, at last,
Replied when several months had passed

I liked the way I could associate the real with the non-real (man-machine) and make it plausible. I liked the ending. Most of all, I enjoyed writing it for the many ways it related to me. Not only that, over the years I have received literally hundreds of e-mails from people who have read it and said things like, "I'm in love with a robot. What advice can you give me? I need your help" or "I'm the robot you speak of. What can I do to let someone know how much I care about them?" There have been many with touches of desperation in them. I was beginning to feel like Dr. Phil!! LOL!

In reality, I am the worst critic of my poetry. I will tear it apart much more brutally than any critic but, for the reasons of liking the phraseology and flow, the fact that I was able associate an object with a living thing in true metaphorical fashion, the writing of something so many people could relate to on both sides...and the fact that it was MY story, I would have to say it has been my most rewarding effort, personally.
Alison
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4 posted 06-16-2011 09:35 PM       View Profile for Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

My thoughts first went to Wishing Tides.  It was from the assignment about feet and I struggled through that assignment.  I was so proud when I finally, finally seemed to start to "get it".  I still stive to do just that - 'get it', but I am proud of how far I have come in my poetic attempts.  That's what you have givnen me, Balladeer.

My favorite poem is "Web Dreams'.  It wasn't an assignment.  I woke up one morning with the first line or so in my head and came to the computer with a cup of coffee ... and wrote it.

I think it shows how far I have come in working with the tools that I have been offered in the Workshop.  It also speaks about letting go of bad night dreams and facing the day.  We all have our demons, but, hopefully, we have learned (or are learning) how to deal with them.

Thank you, Michael.

Alison

Balladeer
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5 posted 06-16-2011 11:29 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Very good, Alison! I had  missed that one completely. I understand what you mean by how important a poem is to you based on how it makes you feel to write it and how well it taps into your feelings and thoughts. You did an excellent job with this one.

As far as your improvement is concerned, as I have said before, all I did was point you in the right direction. It was you who refused to give up, who took all of the criticisms in stride in the right way, and would not rest until you mastered what had given you problems. Time and time again, I have given advice to people here and never heard from them again. Having not heard what they wanted to hear, which was false praise, they simply went MIA. Your success with your poetry lies in your tenacity, your refusal to give up.....and, for that, you will always have my admiration and respect.
Dr.Moose1
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since 09-05-99
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6 posted 06-17-2011 07:09 AM       View Profile for Dr.Moose1   Email Dr.Moose1   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dr.Moose1

Balladeer and Alison,
Just a thought, could we provide the links to the poems ( in my case, I'm not good at it). I searched archives for "The Robot" which I vaguely remember and drew a blank.
Doc
Alison
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7 posted 06-17-2011 07:30 AM       View Profile for Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

"Sir Rulian Blue"  

http://piptalk.com/main/forumdisplay.cgi?action=displayarchive&number=82&topic=002738


NOTE: your links all led to the same poem on my page and I couldn't correct it....perhaps it was my browser. At any rate I'll list them individually.

[This message has been edited by Balladeer (06-17-2011 07:55 AM).]

Balladeer
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8 posted 06-17-2011 07:56 AM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

The Robot
http://piptalk.com/main/forumdisplay.cgi?action=displayarchive&number=34&topic=000134
Balladeer
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9 posted 06-17-2011 07:57 AM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Web Dreams
http://piptalk.com/pip/Forum111/HTML/001595.html
Alison
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10 posted 06-17-2011 10:12 AM       View Profile for Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

Thank you.  That's what I get for trying to accomplish something during an insomiac moment.



A
Dr.Moose1
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11 posted 06-17-2011 11:38 AM       View Profile for Dr.Moose1   Email Dr.Moose1   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dr.Moose1

Many thanks you two, both were well worth the re-read. I may even attempt a re-write to see what difference 8 years has made. Where does the time go, lol.
Doc
grandmasgirl
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12 posted 07-05-2011 04:23 AM       View Profile for grandmasgirl   Email grandmasgirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for grandmasgirl

My Shiloh would have to be my best i wrote it out of passion and hurt when i was missing her

Balladeer
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13 posted 07-05-2011 10:30 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Very nice, miss! Few loves are stronger that the one between person and pet. Your poem was direct and clear about how important your dog was to you alive and how much you missed him afterwards. Excellent portrayal of unconditional love....
Oklahoma Rose
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14 posted 07-24-2011 01:32 PM       View Profile for Oklahoma Rose   Email Oklahoma Rose   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Oklahoma Rose

I have a couple I think are my best. I'm just not sure if I could tell you why. Balladeer, my dearest friend, I think you know me well enough to know I'm kind of shy. And, I never think that anything I do is good enough. So, maybe I should post one and you tell me why it is the best. LOL!
Balladeer
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15 posted 07-24-2011 07:33 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

You post it, Rose, and I'll tell ya!
ebonygirl
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16 posted 07-26-2011 04:04 PM       View Profile for ebonygirl   Email ebonygirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for ebonygirl

I am just listening to the conversation. I haven't decided on any one of my poems, as of yet, but I hope to one day.
ebonygirl
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17 posted 07-26-2011 08:54 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

I have no doubt it will be a real treat, ebonygirl!
Alison
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18 posted 07-28-2011 02:24 AM       View Profile for Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

Bring 'em on.  I just want to enjoy them, Sue and ebonygirl.



A
Michael
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19 posted 08-02-2011 07:14 PM       View Profile for Michael   Email Michael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Michael

Well, Michael, I was gonna just come in here and say "Camelot" is my personal favorite of all I've written...  but then you want the why's.  

Heck... I don't know why.  Maybe because it's so long no one ever has to finish it.  

Truthfully, it is one poem that I put a lot of work into.  Without sounding vain, I hope I can say I really don't "work" at poetry much, it just sort of happens with me.  I think this is one of the first poems I tried to implement an internal rhyme pattern throughout the whole piece with, though.  THAT, and the topic itself were only part of the difficulties.

As much as Camelot represents everybody's picture perfect paradise...  I always thought it would be incredibly dysfunctional if it were real on many counts.  These I tried to bring out, through the eyes of Lancelot (anti-hero extraordinaire whom everybody loves), returning home... assuming your version of the tale has him honorably leaving after the death of Arthur, and not just immediately shacking up with the queen.  

I did honor the main storyline, and tried to include as much of it as I could, without dragging the poem unto eternity.  Merlin, the Lady of the Lake, etc... with Lancelot, in the end, grieving so much over what he found that he picks up the failed quest for the Holy Grail.  An ending I felt appropriate... if probably for my own selfish reasons.

I guess one other reason for picking this one would be the challenge I had in changing the form on the 5th stanza of each section.  I seem to recall that being a royal pain.  I don't really even remember why I did it now, that's the sad part.

In the end, I've always felt a love for poetry because poetry is creation.  This poem, for me, was not just a recreation of Camelot... but one of my personal life.  For every character named... I see a face from my past filling that part.  To hold true to my past without deviating from the original story of Camelot, and do so in a manner that would leave the reader unaware of this was, to me, the biggest challenge.

I will post it in open.

  
Balladeer
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20 posted 08-02-2011 09:44 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

I look forward to reading it, MIchael.

I don't know if you are an afficianado of Camelot or not....but I am. I have studied countless books on it, even as a legendary story. You want dysfunctional? I would suggest you read the Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley. I have it as a book on tape - 38 90 minute tapes!  It is such a realistic look at Arthur and Camelot, none of the glitter you find elsewhere. It is a story told by the four main women in Arthur's life - his mother, Igraine; his half-sister, Morgaine; his aunt Viviane, the Lady of the Lake; and his wife, Gwenwyfar.

It deviates from the popular legend in interesting ways. First, Gueneviere was a real, er, witch who was basically responsible for the fall of Camelot. Lancelot and Gueneviere were not lovers in secret. Arthur could not have children and begged Lancelot to bed her to produce an heir. Lancelot refused for a long time before accepting the duty. Anyway, it is a gritty, down to earth portrayal of what Camelot really was. It has been made into a movie and a tv mini-series. I think you would like it.
rachaelfuchsberger
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21 posted 10-24-2011 09:03 AM       View Profile for rachaelfuchsberger   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for rachaelfuchsberger

Every time I write a new poem, it becomes my favorite. Which makes this question extremely difficult to answer. However, if I MUST pick one, it's With a Longing to Trust. http://piptalk.com/main/forumdisplay.cgi?action=displayarchive&number=103&topic=001084

I chose that one because, no matter where I go or what I'm doing, I still have that longing to trust...in myself.

~Arana Darkwolf~
An' it harm none, do what ye will. Blessed be.

Balladeer
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22 posted 10-24-2011 07:55 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Excellent, Rachael! You have chosen a good one which displays the torment  between heart and mind in matters of love and relationships. The two definitely take different pasts at time, don't they? For men, it's worse....curse those primevil urges!!!
ponderthepoetorrsx
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23 posted 12-07-2011 09:02 PM       View Profile for ponderthepoetorrsx   Email ponderthepoetorrsx   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for ponderthepoetorrsx

i'm still not at my poetry peek ( of course there is no poetry peek but i mean i feel i'll write that amazing poem one day...)  but out of the ones i have written i'd say its either between midnight rain http://piptalk.com/pip/Forum107/HTML/000859.html which i like because i feel it conveys the feelings of the person whose perspective i am writing through very well and also because writing it in many ways made me feel very complacent, and blue sapphire and green red fire http://piptalk.com/pip/Forum107/HTML/000873.html
which was my poetry spark and i hold to my heart also its funny i stumbled in here after posting it

yolilitzli

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24 posted 12-07-2011 11:35 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Nice choices...I like them both and think I'll choose the second, for the flow and presentation of so many varied contrasts and emotions displayed in the lines. Nice work, sir.

I suggest you post some of these in the Open Forum, where it will get more exposure than in the Dark forum.
 
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