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Passions in Poetry

Right This Way to the Wild West!

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Balladeer
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0 posted 04-12-2011 10:28 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer


Put your submissions in this thread, pardners
serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
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1 posted 04-13-2011 02:38 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

"According to Hoyle"


It weren't much but dust back then
but I knew gin and I knew men
and quite a lotter 'widows" who
knew just how to mix the two.

A California widow (sez myself)
dusted cobwebs off the shelf
and started trade with just a smile
and some underwear, with style.

We didn't have no music then,
so I sang and carried tunes
in the buckets and spittoons
and all of 'em were slightly bent.

I traded with the thirsty ones--
they'd give me linens from their wives.
I'd stitch the lace till it become
something fancy, something fine.

I never had no mirror, no.
Those were just on tv shows.
Nobody ever wanted to
look at them or lookit you.

The bar came from a lumbermill
up from Appalachiay;
it took ten Injuns and ten days
for my girls to work that pay.

Eight years of that, with no boardwalk.
All those hands and all that talk.
I found m'self a comanche
girl that looked Egyptian, she

sure knew how to line her eyes.
The men sure liked the foreigners,
so that's the way that I sold her--
it weren't the truth but wasn't lies.

Once the stagecoach came to town
I gambled on some credit due.
I bought the place the next door down,
and that became the "wantin' booth."

Girls were plenty, women more.
Men died early, and left us poor.
I bought a bathtub from a {hoe-er}
who liked to soak her men...before.

That girl had uncommon sense.

I can't say that I've been good.
I did all what I thought I could.
To hell with all the oughts and should--
a lady makes her livelihood.

"Lively" makes life busy-ness.

I finally got the mirror, though,
but by that time I was too old
to wanna take a long look-see--
I had the damned thing for three weeks

'till a bullet did 'er in.

It wasn't like a big shoot-out.
Just one guy, who saw himself
keeping company with doubt
who shot his image all to hell.

Loneliness can breed bad sin.

I left the place to that Injun,
the one I called the Egyptian--
for all the time and good intent
she never did much like the men.

She loved me till I died.
Balladeer
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2 posted 04-13-2011 06:38 AM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Why, you baudy bard!! I love it, Serenity gal. Somehow I had a feeling that part was yours..call me psychic! I mean, you just ain't the rancher's wife type, yanno>

Very, very good stuff, my friend. Thank you!
Dr.Moose1
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since 09-05-99
Posts 3505
Bewilderment , USA


3 posted 04-13-2011 08:47 AM       View Profile for Dr.Moose1   Email Dr.Moose1   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dr.Moose1

Comes a time there be a reckonin' fer most folk so's I swear
The ol' west was a dandy time fer those of us was there
The men folk didn't pay much heed to laws 'cause what was right
Was often settled with a gun on any given night

Some said it was the whisky I served up in my saloon
Done made 'em act so crazy they'd drink right from a spitoon
But I think it was wimmin got their skivvies in a bunch
And one gal in partic'lar, thet's my educated hunch

She done called herself "Serenity" an' my, that girl was fine
She run herself a "boardin'" house jest two doors down from mine
A classy joint from all accounts, at least or so's I've heard
Free stylin' some fine poetry an' doin' spoken word.

But I don't want to say too much lest you think it's a crock
So's next time you're in "Piptown" folks, y'all stop in at Docs'.
serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
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4 posted 04-13-2011 08:56 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze



Methinks you tempt me. You know very well I feel more like a rancher's wife--actually, I feel more like a rancher...

sigh...

I used to have the purtiest hands.

And the curtains don't match the rug.

(Tara reference--really! )

Thanks for the fun.
serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


5 posted 04-13-2011 09:14 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

Now 'Doc was a fine gentleman
but he had quibbles just the same.
He liked a snort of un-di-lute,
He liked a sportin' poker game.

Doc spent some time there in my bar--
and if he weren't? He wasn't far.
There was always restlessness
and Doc was there to clean the mess.

I'm gettin' all emotional.
Doc was a man, and kept control.
He always held his head up high--
he'd fold his hand and he would sigh.

"Dammit, I had Aces high"
He'd cuss to some poor dyin' guy,
and clean his scalpel with cheap rye
and mutter "here's mud in yer eye"

before he laced up life.

The only man I ever liked
as much as I loved him.

* * *

(I do so love the Doc.)

Dr.Moose1
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since 09-05-99
Posts 3505
Bewilderment , USA


6 posted 04-13-2011 10:34 AM       View Profile for Dr.Moose1   Email Dr.Moose1   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dr.Moose1

Serenity,
Glad to be of service ma'am, a gentleman couldn't very well be leavin' a lady such as yourself all alone in a big place like "Piptown", now could he?
Doc
serenity blaze
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7 posted 04-13-2011 04:45 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

This was just so much fun.

Just like old times.

Thanks, 'deer, thanks Doc!

I needed the jump start, and I truly enjoyed writing in character.

Cain't wait to see what comes next.
Balladeer
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8 posted 04-14-2011 12:10 AM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

What can I say? You two are awesome. I expected it from you, Moose, but you have even ignited a fire in Serenity from the little sparks of genius she carries around.

let's hope there are more than two residents of our little town!
Dr.Moose1
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since 09-05-99
Posts 3505
Bewilderment , USA


9 posted 04-14-2011 07:24 AM       View Profile for Dr.Moose1   Email Dr.Moose1   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dr.Moose1

Balladeer,
I expect we'll be hearin' from Miss Alison shortly, an' I'm about to put the iron in the fire to rustle up some more folks.
Doc

Welcome back to Piptown folks, a prosperous little place
Like most of all these gold rush towns we're growin' at a pace
That's faster'n a pirate'll make you part with a dubloon
so step into my waterin' hole, Docs' Thirsty Moose Saloon

I'm doin' a bit of hirin' to wait on the clientele
I need a barkeep right away and'd like one that can spell
The hours are long, the pay's not good, but poets don'tcha know
By now you should be used to it, so who'll give 'er a go?

If ticklin' the ol' ivories be more your stock an' trade
My honky tonk piano's 'bout the finest ever made
Again, it pays right poorly, but, you get to keep your tips
An' use my old revolver with the pearl handled grips

'Cause the sign may say "Piano Player, kindly please don't shoot!"
But most these cowpokes they cain't read an' couldn't give a hoot.
Balladeer
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10 posted 04-14-2011 02:40 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Purty darn good classified ad there, doc. Maybe Allison Oakley will answer it.

If you get a chance, bump it up in Open so more people can see it.
Alison
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since 01-27-2008
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Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!


11 posted 04-14-2011 10:33 PM       View Profile for Alison   Email Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

Yer too bald; ya got gout?
Yer real short ‘n yer stout?
That fat ole wart on yer chin
Well, it’s real ugly as sin!
Ain’t got no wimmen in years
They look ‘n snicker ‘n sneer?

You ask me jist what kin I do?
I got ‘n elixier fer you.

Ya say yer hair’s fallin’ out?
Yer man’s a lazy ole lout.
He shore put stink on yer skin;
Don’t wanna know where he’s been?
You break out in them pimple hives
Every time he comes ridin’ on by?

He’s puttn’ wrinkles on yer face?
With my cream they leave with no trace.

C’mon ‘n step up to my tent
My potent is heaven sent
For you it is only two bits
For them two bits you can git it

When you got an ache in your teeth
‘N yer wife is snorin’ a heap,
Yer butt jest keeps achin’ with hurt
‘N yer crack is filled up with dirt.
Yer bunions throbbin’ in yer boots?
Yer trigger finger’s got no shoot?

Well, I can’t parlay here all day
For powder you jist gotta pay

This stealin’ deal is jist for today
Cause I am headin’ out on my way

Today when you pay.
Balladeer
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since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


12 posted 04-14-2011 11:28 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Our dear Alison has turned into a drug dealer???? Any of that ole love potion number 9 left there, girl?? Or something with a husky fragrance???

Thinkin' of you and your waggin' gets me all mushy inside! Crack filled with dirt??? How.....no, I don't even  want to know!

Nice tootin', girl!
Alison
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Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!


13 posted 04-15-2011 12:16 AM       View Profile for Alison   Email Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison



My favorite line!
katahdin
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since 07-01-2010
Posts 1112
ME. In the Shadow of the Mt.


14 posted 04-15-2011 12:47 AM       View Profile for katahdin   Email katahdin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for katahdin

They call me Black Bart
My duds are as black as my heart
I'm the fastest gun in this here west
Every cowpoke is wantin' to put me to the test

I jist moseyed into this here "Piptown"
Thought I'd have me a good look around
Doc's Thirsty Moose Saloon looked mighty fine
At Serenity's "boardin' house", she'd show me a good time

First I was a needin' a good glass of whisky
But wit my reputation I knew it'd be risky
O'l Doc, I says, "Git me a glass,
Make it clean and make it fast."

Then I saw him out the corner of my eye
I was a hopin' the greenhorn would jist pass on by
But I could see he was jist itchin' fer a fight
And they'd be a buryin' him tonight

He was a cussin' at me and sloshing his beer
Then called me some coward name like "Balladeer"
So I looked him straight in the eye
And said, "Boy...you lookin' ta die!"

We'll be a meetin' in the street at noon
And that time came real soon
My gun hand was a twitchin' as I stared him down
I was a thinkin' he should'a left town

As the town clock struck the time of day
I whipped out my pistol and fired away
I thought I'd wing him, teach him a lesson
Let him know wit who he was a messin'

When the smoke cleared, I seen he weren't hurt
There was a pain in my side and red stainin' my shirt
Then the light grew dark and my head to spin
Damn, that there cowpoke had gone and done me in

I awoke to see Sweet Serenity's face
Doc had carted me off to her place
He said, "Yer were lucky this time son."
"Maybe it's time ya give up yer gun."

Then he patched me up right
And said I was good fer the night
Serenity said, "Honey won't ya stay fer a spell?"
"Anything fer you darlin', I said, "Ya jist wait till I git well!"

Next thing I knew we was wed
My life as a gunfighter was dead
It was time fer me to settle down
So, now I'm the sheriff of this two-bit town
Earth Angel
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since 08-27-2002
Posts 40647
Realms of Light


15 posted 04-15-2011 01:23 AM       View Profile for Earth Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Earth Angel's Home Page   View IP for Earth Angel


                                             

Tall Sally's Saloon
by Linda L. Dowd

South of the border lived two-fisted Pete.
He liked his rum straight and his scotch whisky neat.
He wore a bandana 'round his 10-gallon hat,
And a vest that was made from pelts of polecat.

Each notch on his gun belt was a life he did take,
For those who dared cross him, made their final mistake.
He was a mean hombre with eyes glinting steel,
~A man made of rock without heart that could feel.

He spewed vile words through tobacco-stained teeth,
And stomped on the graves of those six feet deep.
His bloodstream was cold and running with ice,
No man ever lived to cross Bad Pete twice.

One scorching day, a ranger rode into town,
He asked the townsfolk if Pete was around.
A cowboy pointed to the beaten-down bar,
As the sun of high noon lit the ranger’s tin star.

Bart tethered his horse at Tall Sally’s Saloon,
Then spat dusty spit in a big brass spittoon.
As he swung the doors open, he peered inside,
And saw the marked man push his whiskey aside.

The ranger approached him with his hand on his gun.
He looked in the eyes of the man on the run.
They were evil and vacant and as black as coal,
~He walked with the devil and sold him his soul.

Two-fisted Pete pushed his table away,
And snarled at the ranger, “You just made my day!"
Big Bart then halted and stopped in his tracks,
For down came a shower of crumpled greenbacks.

An amply-built woman leaned over the railing.
“Stay away from my Pete!” Tall Sally was wailing.
“You can have all my money and even the bar!
~But don’t touch a hair on that man with the scar!”

As Pete raised his gun and aimed at Bart’s head,
All of Sal's patrons scrambled and fled.
Soon there resounded a thunderin' boom,
As the bullet ricocheted throughout the saloon.

The ranger then thanked his lucky tin star,
~ Pete’s aim had been poor and had missed him by far!
He picked up the greenbacks and ran out the door,
And hasn’t been seen in that town anymore.

Concubine Sally then raced down the stairs,
Climbed on Pete’s lap and bared all her wares.
He pinched her plump bottom and slobbered a kiss,
~ He had a big soft spot for this tall, painted Miss.

The patrons returned with each wearing a grin.
Pete poured his gal Sal a glass of straight gin.
Poorly-told jokes crudely spread through the room,
As they knocked back their drinks in Tall Sally’s Saloon.
Mysteria
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British Columbia, Canada


16 posted 04-15-2011 01:39 AM       View Profile for Mysteria   Email Mysteria   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mysteria

Soon as sparks got to flying in Doc's "Thirsty Moose Saloon,"
I'd count all my blessings 'til tomorrow's high noon.
Nightfall brought out a pick and old burlap sacks,
Then I'd go to the clearing by old Maude and Jack's.

By flickering lantern light in the pitch dark of night
I never stopped digging 'til dawn's early light.
Stuffing the body in a sack soaked in high noon's mud,
I'd count the shekels I made on this poor shot's blood.

Around town people scattered to tell their tall tales
The saloon overflowed with bitter-tongued males.
The best I could hope for was more conflict tonight.
Better dig another hole just in case there's a fight!


.


        

Hi Everyone - been sort of busy but I do read!
Alison
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Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!


17 posted 04-15-2011 01:57 AM       View Profile for Alison   Email Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

These are great.  I am going to be gone until the first of May or so.  But, I'll peek in and read when I can.  Love these.

A
Balladeer
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Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


18 posted 04-15-2011 05:43 AM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Well, well, well....the town is growing! We got two saloons, a baudy house, a gunfighter-turned-sheriff, an undertaker, a potion peddler...who else might happen by???
Dr.Moose1
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since 09-05-99
Posts 3505
Bewilderment , USA


19 posted 04-15-2011 07:08 AM       View Profile for Dr.Moose1   Email Dr.Moose1   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dr.Moose1

Havin' a good ol' time with all this, drinks are on me folks an' since no-one's applied for "piano player" guess I'll bang one out with apologies to Eric Clapton.
Doc

             Long Tall Sallys'

There ain't nothin' that is wrong
in comin' here to post poetry
I know y'all got tales to tell
so while you write yourself a poem I'll bang these keys
an' have a drink on thee.


                (chorus)
Long tall Sally, she an' her man ol' Pete
got to likin' Piptown, set up shop too
Long tall Sally, we sure like your Saloon
I been singin' all night long 'bout the two of you

The fun ain't nearly just begun
an' we got gypsy woman Alison
Black Bart fer a sheriff now
fun is all that matters, wouldn't you agree?
an' have a drink on me

                  (chorus)

Mysteria's a'diggin' nights
buryin' the dead so handily
those slow guns who done went bye-bye
She done laid their bodies down, they're history
so have a drink on me!
                

                ( chorus x 2)

[This message has been edited by Dr.Moose1 (04-15-2011 08:44 AM).]

Earth Angel
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since 08-27-2002
Posts 40647
Realms of Light


20 posted 04-15-2011 12:38 PM       View Profile for Earth Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Earth Angel's Home Page   View IP for Earth Angel

Ah, yes! The good ole days in the Wild, Wild, West!
Well, as it turned out, Pete ended up cheating on Tall Sally and like him, no one ever got to done her wrong more than once!


+*+*+

Pete's Epitaph

Here lies Pete
who lost his mind.
Died from drinking
hemlock wine ~
made by wrath-filled
concubine,
who drew up will
then made him sign!

+*+*+

~ Linda L. Dowd

faithmairee
Senior Member
since 01-05-2011
Posts 1440
Poe Haven, USA


21 posted 04-15-2011 01:31 PM       View Profile for faithmairee   Email faithmairee   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit faithmairee's Home Page   View IP for faithmairee

the circus comes to PIP town
lordy, who is it we see
there's that gal faithmairee
swinging on the trapeze

There must be a poem in here somewhere.

Balladeer
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since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


22 posted 04-15-2011 10:44 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Yes, there must be a poem in there, faithmarie....gimme one!!
faithmairee
Senior Member
since 01-05-2011
Posts 1440
Poe Haven, USA


23 posted 04-16-2011 12:09 AM       View Profile for faithmairee   Email faithmairee   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit faithmairee's Home Page   View IP for faithmairee

you didn't specify length...i'm a trapeze artist in the circus in town

There must be a poem in here somewhere.

Balladeer
Administrator
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since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


24 posted 04-16-2011 12:54 AM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

ok...works for me!


I'm working on the compiling so any others who wish to participate better do it pronto!!
 
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