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Passions in Poetry

So how about a Pair of Dells??

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Balladeer
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0 posted 02-08-2011 09:28 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

You want a little difficulty, Doc. Perhaps this may whet your appetite...

Paradelle

More of a word puzzle, the paradelle is a very difficult format to master. A paradelle is a repetition
of lines, with each stanza ending in two lines which use all of the words in the previous lines. Also, the
last stanza uses all of the words from all previous stanzas. Below is an example.

Winter

Night is cold and lonely
Night is cold and lonely
Still the tempest does turn
Still the tempest does turn
Cold tempest is still night
and turn does the lonely.

Sparkles of ice glitter
Sparkles of ice glitter
Cloudy breath floats away
Cloudy breath floats away
Breath of cloudy sparkles
away ice breath glitter.

Winter brings it's caress
Winter brings it's caress
Delight rewards the soul
Delight rewards the soul
Winter rewards delight
it's soul brings the caress.

Winter glitter sparkles
and tempest floats away
it's cloudy soul does turn
the ice of lonely night
caress is the rewards
still breath brings cold delight.

1999 Wordsmith


Have fun


Alison
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1 posted 02-09-2011 02:24 AM       View Profile for Alison   Email Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

I gave it a shot, but want to look it over tomorrow before posting it. Oh what the heck ... here it is.     I am going to try again tomorrow.

-

Moss carpets the tundra
Moss carpets the tundra
A damp bed of lush green
A damp bed of lush green
Carpets of a lush moss
bed the green tundra.

Cotton grass bends slowly
Cotton grass bends slowly
Catches a summer breeze
Catches a summer breeze
A breeze catches cotton
bends summer grass slowly.

Flowers grow in tussocks
Flowers grow in tussocks
Shows delicate beauty
Shows delicate beauty
Grow delicate flowers
beauty shows in tussocks

The green summer tundra
Catches a lush beauty
Moss flowers grow slowly
Damp, delicate grass bed
Flowers carpet tussocks
A breeze bends cotton

-

Alison

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2 posted 02-09-2011 07:32 AM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Alison, you don't understand. This assignment was supposed to be difficult. You made it look easy!!

You continue to amaze, my friend
Alison
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3 posted 02-09-2011 11:23 AM       View Profile for Alison   Email Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

Thank you!
I still want to try it again.

Dr.Moose1
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4 posted 02-09-2011 01:28 PM       View Profile for Dr.Moose1   Email Dr.Moose1   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dr.Moose1

Balladeer she did, didn't she, why am I not surprised.

Well, I did a little research and here's what I came up with, forgive me , it's a little "wordy".

As this form "paradelle" was contrived as a joke,
As this form "Paradelle" was contrived as a joke,
to make fun of the strict forms like the "Villanelle",
to make fun of the strict forms like the "villanelle"
Was contrived as a joke, this form, the "paradelle",
forms to make, like fun of, strict forms as "Villanelle".

With its twists and its turns and repetitive words,
with its twists and its turns and repetitive words,
one can see why a poet does find it absurd,
one can see why a poet does find it absurd,
find a poet can see, and why it twists its words
with repetitive turns and one does it absurd.

Most peculiar a poem that's a puzzle indeed,
most peculiar a poem that's a puzzle indeed,
'bout as much fun to write as it ought be to read,
'bout as much fun to write as it ought be to read.
A fun puzzle to write 'bout as ought be indeed,
that's a poem much as it, most peculiar to read.

Most absurd turns this poem as repetitive words
paradelle to make fun of like form, villanelle.
As to read it's a joke, it's a puzzle indeed,
write this one with the twists and find that's contrived fun.
As it was, the "ought to" a peculiar why does,
see it and, form it strict, much as a poet can.
Balladeer
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5 posted 02-09-2011 07:25 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Doc, why do I feel like I need a drink after reading yours???

Very clever, medical man, however with sentences like..

forms to make, like fun of, strict forms as "Villanelle".
that's a poem much as it, most peculiar to read.
see it and, form it strict, much as a poet can.
find a poet can see, and why it twists its words...

this round goes to miss ALison


Alison
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6 posted 02-10-2011 12:49 AM       View Profile for Alison   Email Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

Doc M, yours is clever and so are you!

Thank you both, my friends!

Dr.Moose1
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7 posted 02-10-2011 07:37 AM       View Profile for Dr.Moose1   Email Dr.Moose1   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dr.Moose1

Balladeer,
I must agree whole-heartedly ( nice job Alison )
The more words you add, the more difficult it becomes to juggle them around and maintain any type of sentence structure, much less have it make any kind of sense and maintain rhyme and meter.( I didn't look that hard, but none of the examples I saw used rhyme). All that being said ,
I think this is quite possibly the worst thing I have ever written that still adheres to the rules of the form. Points for "Worst" place?
Doc
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8 posted 02-10-2011 08:47 AM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Point taken....and given
Amberzlynnc
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9 posted 02-17-2011 02:22 AM       View Profile for Amberzlynnc   Email Amberzlynnc   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Amberzlynnc's Home Page   View IP for Amberzlynnc

Noise escapes her mouth
Noise escapes her mouth
Lingering are loud and obnoxious sounds
Lingering are loud and obnoxious sounds
Obnoxious noise escapes her mouth
and loud sounds are lingering.

She screams her feelings
She screams her feelings
and yells her excitement
and yells her excitement.
Her excitement, her feelings
she yells and screams.

Sporadic jolts of energy
Sporadic jolts of energy
My ears, pierced by shrieking
My ears, pierced by shrieking
Sporadic shrieking jolts my ears,
pierced by energy.

Sporadic noise she screams
Her jolts are loud and lingering.
Sounds pierced my ears.
Obnoxious screams, she yells
of energy, excitement, and feelings.

*Amber

Dr.Moose1
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10 posted 02-17-2011 02:33 PM       View Profile for Dr.Moose1   Email Dr.Moose1   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dr.Moose1

Since the assignment was for a "Pair", here's the other half of mine.
Doc

Perhaps moderate skill
perhaps moderate skill
would place them at your hand
would place them at your hand
and compel to your will
and compel to your will
using words of command
using words of command
slight them then, what you say
slight them then, what you say
have them bending, obey,
have them bending, obey!

Bending words to your will
place them at your command.
Using moderate skill,
and perhaps slight of hand.
Then compel them, obey
what you would have them say!
Balladeer
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11 posted 02-17-2011 09:18 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Amberzlynnc, that was ideal!!! You followed all the rules and the poem was excellent...nice work!!
Balladeer
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12 posted 02-17-2011 09:22 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Ah, Moose, I know I should be more careful around you!

Your pair wins
Dr.Moose1
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13 posted 02-17-2011 10:11 PM       View Profile for Dr.Moose1   Email Dr.Moose1   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dr.Moose1

Balladeer,
Thank you m'friend. Actually, in my travels with the "way-back" machine, Nan brought this form up, and offered some advice as to how to make it work. "Reverse engineering" is not a bad idea. Do your final stanza, to make it say what you want, and then go back and re-word the rest of the lines. Also, it helps if your wording is strong enough to bear the repeat, and some of your words may be used in more than one context. Ah, the good old days.
Doc
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14 posted 02-17-2011 10:49 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

The good old days...when Nan taught you how to do things? Gee, that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside!
Dr.Moose1
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15 posted 02-18-2011 06:42 AM       View Profile for Dr.Moose1   Email Dr.Moose1   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dr.Moose1

Balladeer,
Au contraire my good friend, did I fail to mention the good "new" days. Forgive me, for I have sinned by omission.
Doc
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16 posted 02-18-2011 07:12 AM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Ah, ok, Doc. I shall anoint my bruised ego with Preparation H and move on
ken206573
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17 posted 04-04-2011 07:04 PM       View Profile for ken206573   Email ken206573   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for ken206573

I hope this poem is ok with you, I may try to give you another. If it's not right.

The Midnight Garden

Stars dance for tonight
Stars dance for tonight
Ocean sing softly
Ocean sing softly
Tonight ocean dance
for stars softly sing

A child looks above
A child looks above
Sky splashed true colors
Sky splashed true colors
Looks above a sky
child splashed colors true

Flowers from cupid
Flowers from cupid
Her love sweetly ends
Her love sweetly ends
From her flowers ends
cupid love sweetly

Sweetly cupid splashed
colors for her love
softly flowers dance
above a child sing
from stars ocean ends
sky looks true tonight
Balladeer
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18 posted 04-04-2011 08:18 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Ken, this is very good work! You follow the form perfectly and create some very excellent lines. If there is any criticism for me to make it would be the incorrect tenses, such as "ocean sing", "ocean dance", "child sing".  They do not add to the fluidity of the lines.

The last stanza (except for child sing) is spectacular! All in all, I'd say you did a terrific job!
Alison
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19 posted 04-05-2011 12:23 AM       View Profile for Alison   Email Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

Ken,

This is lovely.  Hope you continue to participate here in the PW.  It's fun.

A
Klassy Lassy
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20 posted 04-05-2011 01:15 AM       View Profile for Klassy Lassy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Klassy Lassy

Alison, you poem is breathtaking.  I love the serenity and the greening.  Stunning write, Scribe.   A rose at your feet.
Alison
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21 posted 04-05-2011 01:38 AM       View Profile for Alison   Email Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

Wow!  Karen, thank you.  I do believe that I can go to bed a happy woman now.  You made me smile.

 
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