Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
Hello, Bailey! it is the adventurous high schooler indeed to attempts villanelles and you have done very well.
The syllable counts need to be exact. You have decided to go with eight syllables per line, which is fine, however in the middle lines of the second and fourth stanzas, you use 9 instead of 8, which throws the rhythm off a bit. You employ a very excellent iambic beat throughout the poem....almost. The middle line of the second stanza deviates from it but, when you correct the syllable counts, that may correct itself. The line "reaching for my pack I attack" just doesn't make it at all. It's very clumsy and has no meter that corresponds to any other part of the poem. You need a different line there.
As I told Johan, the Open forum is for posting poetry whereas this forum is for following specific assignments. You will get much more feedback for your writing there.
Very nice to see you!