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Passions in Poetry

Beat The Teacher!!

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Alison
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Member Rara Avis
since 01-27-2008
Posts 9055
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!


25 posted 06-26-2010 08:14 PM       View Profile for Alison   Email Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

On a road that was dusty, in a car that smelled musty
She sat beside him and started to sing
He tried not to listen
Something was missing
His eardrums were beginning to ring
When she saw he had left her
For an under-sized heifer
She sang she had more fish to fry
He just looked at her
What did it matter
She waved his wallet and drove quickly by

You picked a fine time to find me a deal
I got the money and you’re still a heel
I can’t sing in tune
You took off too soon
You left me money to steal
You picked a fine time to find me a deal


She hitched up her britches
Almost burst all their stitches
Her hips swung as she strode from the car
Now her song became sweeter
She’ll find a new man to need her
They'll go for a fast ride and go far
She has lots of his money
She’ll get a new honey
Her eyes are set on a shiny bright star
It won’t take her awhile
With her feminine wiles
She smiles and walks into the bar

You picked a fine time to find me a deal
I got the money and you’re still a heel
I can’t sing in tune
You took off too soon
You left me money to steal
You picked a fine time to find me a deal

-

Alison
Balladeer
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since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


26 posted 06-26-2010 08:52 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

There's my Alison!!!! Nicely done, girl. You followed the song well and it was very, very clever. I like it!

I tried that one, too.

A ride through the valley
With my girlfriend Sally
A day of romance on my mind.
The wind blowing gently
The hum of my Bently
Left all of my cares way behind.

And then, without warning,
A thing so alarming..
My front wheel wobbled like hell.
It came off the chassis
My eyes got all glassy
As I watched it roll down the dell.

You picked a fine time to leave me, loose wheel.
I felt vibrations but thought "No big deal".
I should have known not to leave you alone
When I heard those ball bearings squeal.
You picked a fine time to leave me, loose wheel.

Now Sally was screaming
I thought I was dreaming
As I watched that tire roll away.
My car still went faster
Toward certain disaster
And all I could do  was to pray.

The edge of the cliff came
And that was the ball game
As out into space we both flew.
The end of the thrill ride
And all through the hillside
My words echoed loudly and true.

You picked a fine time to leave me, loose wheel.
I should have fixed you but I'm a  schlemiel.
Now me and Sally are part of the valley
Looks like our destiny's sealed
You picked a fine time to leave me, loose wheel.
Alison
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Member Rara Avis
since 01-27-2008
Posts 9055
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!


27 posted 06-26-2010 09:34 PM       View Profile for Alison   Email Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

I love it, Balladeer.  I don't know about you, but I found that a really hard song to parody as it seemed to be all over the place.  When I sang the original, it worked - but reading the structure ... oh my God!  My teacher, Balladeer, woulda hacked it all to heck, Lucille!

Balladeer
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since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


28 posted 06-26-2010 10:09 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

You made the effort, my Alaskan, and that counts big time in teacher's notes
Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 09-05-99
Posts 3505
Bewilderment , USA


29 posted 06-28-2010 07:39 AM       View Profile for Dr.Moose1   Email Dr.Moose1   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dr.Moose1

Balladeer & Alison,
Got a good chuckle out of both, but that doesn't surprise me in the least.
Doc
 
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