Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
So I dialed the phone of magic
(How it got there I don't know)
And called the lad that I had been
Those many years ago.
"Hello", I said, as he picked up.
"You won't believe it's true
But I'm calling from your future
And who's calling you is...you!"
"Hey, who the hell is this??"he said.
"You dial your number wrong?
Or maybe this is just a joke..
Ok, I'll play along.
"You always were a smartass, boy",
I told him as I smiled.
You had that way about you ever
Since you were a child."
"I'm gonna give you some advice
And then it's up to you.
How you wind up when you reach me
Depends on what you do."
"I know you like to spend a lot
And when you're broke, it sucks.
It might not be a bad idea
To save a couple bucks."
"Ten bucks a week is not too hard.
You spend that much on beer.
You'll be surprised at how much you
Will have when you get here."
"Be sure to go to college, boy.
I know you don't like to study
But you gotta have diplomas
If you want to be somebody."
"You always were a handsome lad
No problem with the chicks.
Whenever you walked in a room
You always had your pick..."
But there is more to women than
Nice lips or shapely thigh.
Look for their inner beauty
And the twinkle in their eye."
"And when you find the one for you
And raise a family
Don't ever turn your back on your
"You'll find out when you reach my age",
I spoke into the phone,
"That there is nothing worse in life
Than living it alone."
"Well, that's all entertaining, man
Whoever you may be
But you can save that sad advice
For anyone but me!"
"Save money? I don't make that much
And what I make, I spend.
I'd rather use it while I'm young
Than be rich at the end."
"There are no rich men in the grave.
I'll leave no song unsung.
I'd rather sample all of life
While I'm still strong and young."
"And college? No, that's not for me.
I'm pretty smart, you know?
I'll find some way to use my wit
And make a pile of dough."
"I won't be sitting, waiting for
Some social security.
I'm gonna be a big success
'Cause I believe in me!"
" I'm looking for that perfect girl
Who has a golden heart
But long, smooth legs and perky breasts
Are where I like to start!"
"Gather rosebuds...sow wild oats. That's
What they say to do.
I plan to gather and to sow
A lot before I'm through!!"
" Hey, I enjoyed this, mystery man,
Whoever the heck you are
But I gotta go. The gang is
Waiting for me at the bar."
"Take care, old man" were his last words.
I heard the line go dead
And sat there in my empty house,
With memories in my head.
The SS check would come tomorrow.
I would be well-fed.
I got up from my easy chair
And hobbled off to bed.
I'd tried to tell him - or tell me
Based on the life I had
But couldn't make him change his ways
And, to tell the truth, I'm glad.