Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
You have some interesting deep thoughts here, Rachel. The first four lines of each stanza are exact. The fifth and sixth lines of each stanza lose their meter completely. Line 6, stanza 1 begins iambic, as does line 5, stanza 2 and line 5, stanza 3. There is little similarity in meter among the last two lines of each stanza.
Btw, in the future, if you would like a critique of a poem not assigned to a lesson, post it in Open or e-mail it to me and I'll be glad to help out. Individual postings of poems seeking critiques here would not be advantageous to the workshop.
I know, I know....you're overzealous! (never lose the zeal)