navwin » Main Forums » Poetry Workshop » The Dynamic Duo(-rhyme)
Poetry Workshop
Post A Reply Post New Topic The Dynamic Duo(-rhyme) Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

0 posted 2009-10-19 10:48 PM



                Duo-rhyme

The Duo-rhyme, a poetic form created by Mary L. Ports, is a 10 or 12-line poem, with the first two
and last two lines having the same rhyme scheme, and the center of the poem (lines #3 through #8 or #10)
having their own separate monorhyme scheme.

Meter: 8 beats per line, written in iambic tetrameter (4 linear feet of iambic)
Rhyme Scheme: 10-line: a,a,b,b,b,b,b,b,a,a and 12-line: a,a,b,b,b,b,b,b,b,b,a,a
              Example

             Visitation

Oh, midnight wind with whisperings,
come tease sweet fairy’s crystal wings.
    How gracefully she floats tonight
    with purple billows flowing bright.
    Dear, wistful spirit in the night,
    through starlit mist she casts her light.
    For welcomed cheek, a kiss just right
    is softly placed so that one might
    receive her blessings without fright;
    love’s beauty sought, a soul’s delight.
To realms of wonder in my dreams
I’ll float upon the songs she sings.

Copyright © 2007 Mary L. Ports


© Copyright 2009 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved
Marc-Andre
Senior Member
since 2008-12-07
Posts 501

1 posted 2009-10-20 01:10 AM



1.

You must have heard of ducks born black
who cannot swim and cannot quack.
     It came to pass an old tzigane
     who, on her way to the divan
     (where sit the sages of Iran),
     came to the shores of Lake Sevan
     and fell asleep (she was quite wan.)
     Then from her lamp a droll shaitan
     escaped to play tricks on a swan
     by placing in her nest a guan.
So don’t be shocked when, in your shack,
you find a parrot that can quack.

_________________________________________

2.

So you won’t end up black and blue,
of far-off lands, I’ll tell you true:
    don’t dance too wildly to a zouk
    not after lunching on a snook
    bought in a hot and filthy souk
    for should you swallow down a fluke
    perhaps it could cause you to puke
    on the chibouk of a Shilluk
    or the peruke of a grand duke
    and you would get quite a rebuke.
It’s safer at your local zoo
or better still, Kalamazoo.



[This message has been edited by Marc-Andre (10-20-2009 06:41 AM).]

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
2 posted 2009-10-20 08:02 AM


Marc-Andre, you certainly take the road less-traveled, don't you?

I wear out my dictionary, following you! Having said that, this is brilliant work. It's fresh, innovative and a fine piece of writing.

Write on, sir...

Marc-Andre
Senior Member
since 2008-12-07
Posts 501

3 posted 2009-10-20 08:44 AM


Yep, I try to live true to the words of Robert Frost 8) I'm glad to hear you've enjoyed it. Thought I'd try some children poetry (Ted Hughes poems are on my night table, along with Rossetti and Frost.)
Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA
4 posted 2009-10-20 10:45 AM


          Janes' Lament

Ol' beastie boy and I are quits
as life with him is just the pits!
Don't never mind that crap he tells
this ain't no place for Southern belles.
A freakin' igmoo's where he dwells
the man don't bathe and PHEW, he smells!
His lovin' sure don't ring no bells,
I ask him for some measly shells,
UNGAWA's all he ever yells!
The very thought of him repells,
I'm movin' back into the Ritz
that loser y'all can kiss my grits!

rachaelfuchsberger
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2007-02-21
Posts 609
Las Vegas, NV
5 posted 2009-10-20 03:52 PM


Again, I will try this form. I have posted the rework of my other one from the last lesson, and posted it there.

Arana Darkwolf

rachaelfuchsberger
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2007-02-21
Posts 609
Las Vegas, NV
6 posted 2009-10-20 05:55 PM


ToGEther WE are LOVE deFINED
And NEVer WE need TO reMIND
That WE will ALways BE as ONE
Till LIFE on EARTH is DEAD and DONE
ToGEther WE are MOON and SUN
ForEVer YOU will BE the ONE
Our SOULS will BE forEVer SPUN
Our FATed LOVE nevER unDONE
ToGEther AS lovERS' hearts BIND
Our FATES will BE alWAYS enTWINED


Arana Darkwolf

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
7 posted 2009-10-21 09:08 PM


Moose, I know it's a jungle out there but you are really into it, it appears!

Poor Tarzan thought he was adored
Until Jane threw him overboard!
No more night swinging through the trees
Or someone there to pick off fleas.
Although he begged on bended knees
She was not swayed by tearful pleas.
To her heart he had lost the keys.
He was so blind he didn't see
That Jane was just a little tease
Who had a thing for chimpanzees!!
So much for our poor jungle Lord
Who got tossed out without a word.

Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA
8 posted 2009-10-22 06:48 AM


Balladeer,
Glad to see you're getting into the "swing" of things. Nip adoo 2u2.
Doc

rachaelfuchsberger
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2007-02-21
Posts 609
Las Vegas, NV
9 posted 2009-10-24 02:40 PM


~patiently awaiting an analysis of my contribution~

Arana Darkwolf

rachaelfuchsberger
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2007-02-21
Posts 609
Las Vegas, NV
10 posted 2009-11-02 07:04 PM


~starts fidgeting~

Goddess grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
11 posted 2009-11-02 07:19 PM


Thanks for the budge, Rachel

You started off great but lost it in the last three lines, I'm afraid.

Our FATed LOVE nevER unDONE
ToGEther AS lovERS' hearts BIND
Our FATES will BE alWAYS enTWINED

Actually, that reads....

our FATed LOVE NEVer unDONE
toGETher as LOVers' hearts BIND
our FATES will be  ALways enTWINED.

rachaelfuchsberger
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2007-02-21
Posts 609
Las Vegas, NV
12 posted 2009-11-02 10:30 PM


ToGEther WE are LOVE deFINED
And NEVer WE need TO reMIND
That WE will ALways BE as ONE
Till LIFE on EARTH is DEAD and DONE
ToGEther WE are MOON and SUN
ForEVer YOU will BE the ONE
Our SOULS will BE forEVer SPUN
ForEVer WE will BE as ONE
The WORLD will HEAR our LOVE'S oPINE
ForEVer IS not Enough TIME

Goddess grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

rachaelfuchsberger
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2007-02-21
Posts 609
Las Vegas, NV
13 posted 2009-11-03 06:32 PM


~waits patiently for the critique of the re-write~

Goddess grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
14 posted 2009-11-03 09:05 PM


Got down to the last sentence!

ForEVer IS not Enough TIME

reads as...

forEVer is NOT eNOUGH TIME
forEVer IS NOT eNOUGH TIME

rachaelfuchsberger
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2007-02-21
Posts 609
Las Vegas, NV
15 posted 2009-11-03 09:10 PM


ToGEther WE are LOVE deFINED
And NEVer WE need TO reMIND
That WE will ALways BE as ONE
Till LIFE on EARTH is DEAD and DONE
ToGEther WE are MOON and SUN
ForEVer YOU will BE the ONE
Our SOULS will BE forEVer SPUN
ForEVer WE will BE as ONE
The WORLD will HEAR our LOVE'S oPINE
Our LOVE is MORE than WHAT'S deFINED

Goddess grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
16 posted 2009-11-03 10:00 PM


By jove...I think she's got it!!!!

Way to hang in there, m'lady

Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
17 posted 2009-11-04 12:03 PM


When I was young I felt a need,
longed for the day when I could read.
    I sorted books as if to gauge
    that magic time I’d come of age
    to fly out from a silent cage,
    and join the letters on a page.
    Desire could not be assuaged;
    it sparked an ember, born to rage
    until I sat on center stage
    to read as if I were a sage.
There came a day when I was freed
and now I spread the reading seed.

-

Alison

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
18 posted 2009-11-09 11:13 PM


Alison, it is such a pleasure reading you these days. You were not off one syllable or beat in this entire poem....plus the subject matter is very clever.

I applaud you, m'lady

Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
19 posted 2009-11-10 01:03 AM


I wish I was clever enough to express how much this time in the Workshop has meant to me.

You have helped me every step of the way.



Thank you
Alison

Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA
20 posted 2010-07-14 10:57 AM


            Tarzans' Rebuttal

Jane leave nyumba, made my day,
farasi's punda anyway !
Tumbilis make a better mate
for her to leave I just couldn't wait.
No more "to do" list on my plate,
the swingin' single life is great!
She was one baya, bovu date,
she made me want regurgitate
and write Swahili to translate!
I told her "Leave, don't hesitate,
go take a hike without delay!"
She made me gonjwa, as they say!

miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
21 posted 2010-07-16 03:02 AM


Before the great evaluation... I messed up and didn't read the instructions thoroughly!   Well, that brings it down to at best a"B" bbbbbut, I had fun doing this anyway.   I tried an experiment in using as few words as possible, and in doing that, I completely forgot it was supposed to have a monorhyme in between!   Oh shucks!  Well, here it goes anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

              To Home


To home.   Come alone  with me  to home
And take the path alone of stone.
Beneath  the trees  of leaves and rakes,
Bequeath the bees the pollen safe
When flies to golden cells of hives
  To please their queen of bee’s delight.
Then,home the bees at rest  will take
For not the queen will they forsake.
At forest edge  of homeward go
Where trees  of leaves the wind does blow
Above the eaves alone to roam
To roam with you at home alone


Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
22 posted 2010-07-16 08:32 AM


Hey, as long as you had fun, that's something.

Moose, I had always wondered how you became gonjwa!

Eterne
Member
since 2010-07-21
Posts 75
Quebec, Canada
23 posted 2010-07-27 08:46 PM


Marc-Andre, your poem is hilarious!
I think this duo-rhyme was invented to poems like yours :-)

It reads well (plus it's a story), despite the monotonous rhymes in the middle and it does make a perfect sense:

"You must have heard of ducks born black
who cannot swim and cannot quack.
     (...)
So don’t be shocked when, in your shack,
you find a parrot that can quack."

Brava! LOL!

Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306
Mi now
24 posted 2010-08-10 03:44 PM


When Autumn`s vagrant zephyrs press
upon September`s youthful zest,
Oh then remember April frayed
by wind and water cavalcade,
or tender May, who with her spade
prepared for June a bright parade
and how July, inspired, made
an August sunshine marmalade,
so let the daylight effervesce
and recognize which is, is best.

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
25 posted 2010-08-11 07:15 AM


Beyond impressive, Amaryllis! The form is exact, the meter is perfection, and the poem content is very clever. Thanks so very much for sharing this...
Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306
Mi now
26 posted 2010-08-11 12:01 PM


Thank you so much, Balladeer! It`s fun to be back and to try my hand at these!  
~Amaryllis

Amberzlynnc
Member
since 2010-08-24
Posts 229
New Jersey
27 posted 2010-08-24 02:28 AM


I used to write with such a rhyme,
Followed the rules most of the time.
     Until one day I met a man
     Who wrote for him and not for fans.
     His pen touched down without a plan,
     And down the page a poem ran.
     I asked, "Please read?" and he began,
     His words flowed smoothly, better than
     The poems I'd thrown in garbage cans.
     He'd broadened my poetic span.
"Free-verse poems are not a crime",
He said to me, his words sublime.

*Amber

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
28 posted 2010-08-24 09:22 PM


Nice, Amber! Thank you very much for joining in and  welcome. Only one line falters a little..

Followed the rules most of the time.

You need to get away from the trochaic beginning. I would use something like..

Would follow rules most of the time

The rest is exact and very well-written. You have talent, miss.

Amberzlynnc
Member
since 2010-08-24
Posts 229
New Jersey
29 posted 2010-08-24 09:29 PM


Thank you very much for the advice!

*Amber

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
30 posted 2010-08-24 11:56 PM


My pleasure...and it's our pleasure having you join us here.
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Main Forums » Poetry Workshop » The Dynamic Duo(-rhyme)

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary