The Dynamic Duo(-rhyme) - pipTalk Forums

Balladeer
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0 posted 10-19-2009 10:48 PM

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                Duo-rhyme

The Duo-rhyme, a poetic form created by Mary L. Ports, is a 10 or 12-line poem, with the first two
and last two lines having the same rhyme scheme, and the center of the poem (lines #3 through #8 or #10)
having their own separate monorhyme scheme.

Meter: 8 beats per line, written in iambic tetrameter (4 linear feet of iambic)
Rhyme Scheme: 10-line: a,a,b,b,b,b,b,b,a,a and 12-line: a,a,b,b,b,b,b,b,b,b,a,a
              Example

             Visitation

Oh, midnight wind with whisperings,
come tease sweet fairy’s crystal wings.
    How gracefully she floats tonight
    with purple billows flowing bright.
    Dear, wistful spirit in the night,
    through starlit mist she casts her light.
    For welcomed cheek, a kiss just right
    is softly placed so that one might
    receive her blessings without fright;
    love’s beauty sought, a soul’s delight.
To realms of wonder in my dreams
I’ll float upon the songs she sings.

Copyright © 2007 Mary L. Ports

Marc-Andre
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since 12-07-2008
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1 posted 10-20-2009 01:10 AM

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1.

You must have heard of ducks born black
who cannot swim and cannot quack.
     It came to pass an old tzigane
     who, on her way to the divan
     (where sit the sages of Iran),
     came to the shores of Lake Sevan
     and fell asleep (she was quite wan.)
     Then from her lamp a droll shaitan
     escaped to play tricks on a swan
     by placing in her nest a guan.
So don’t be shocked when, in your shack,
you find a parrot that can quack.

_________________________________________

2.

So you won’t end up black and blue,
of far-off lands, I’ll tell you true:
    don’t dance too wildly to a zouk
    not after lunching on a snook
    bought in a hot and filthy souk
    for should you swallow down a fluke
    perhaps it could cause you to puke
    on the chibouk of a Shilluk
    or the peruke of a grand duke
    and you would get quite a rebuke.
It’s safer at your local zoo
or better still, Kalamazoo.

[This message has been edited by Marc-Andre (10-20-2009 06:41 AM).]

Balladeer
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2 posted 10-20-2009 08:02 AM

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Marc-Andre, you certainly take the road less-traveled, don't you?

I wear out my dictionary, following you!

Having said that, this is brilliant work. It's fresh, innovative and a fine piece of writing.

Write on, sir...

Marc-Andre
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3 posted 10-20-2009 08:44 AM

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Yep, I try to live true to the words of Robert Frost 8) I'm glad to hear you've enjoyed it. Thought I'd try some children poetry (Ted Hughes poems are on my night table, along with Rossetti and Frost.)

Dr.Moose1
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4 posted 10-20-2009 10:45 AM

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Janes' Lament

Ol' beastie boy and I are quits
as life with him is just the pits!
Don't never mind that crap he tells
this ain't no place for Southern belles.
A freakin' igmoo's where he dwells
the man don't bathe and PHEW, he smells!
His lovin' sure don't ring no bells,
I ask him for some measly shells,
UNGAWA's all he ever yells!
The very thought of him repells,
I'm movin' back into the Ritz
that loser y'all can kiss my grits!

rachaelfuchsberger

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since 02-21-2007
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5 posted 10-20-2009 03:52 PM

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Again, I will try this form. I have posted the rework of my other one from the last lesson, and posted it there.

Arana Darkwolf

rachaelfuchsberger

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6 posted 10-20-2009 05:55 PM

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ToGEther WE are LOVE deFINED
And NEVer WE need TO reMIND
That WE will ALways BE as ONE
Till LIFE on EARTH is DEAD and DONE
ToGEther WE are MOON and SUN
ForEVer YOU will BE the ONE
Our SOULS will BE forEVer SPUN
Our FATed LOVE nevER unDONE
ToGEther AS lovERS' hearts BIND
Our FATES will BE alWAYS enTWINED

Arana Darkwolf

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7 posted 10-21-2009 09:08 PM

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Moose, I know it's a jungle out there but you are really into it, it appears!

Poor Tarzan thought he was adored
Until Jane threw him overboard!
No more night swinging through the trees
Or someone there to pick off fleas.
Although he begged on bended knees
She was not swayed by tearful pleas.
To her heart he had lost the keys.
He was so blind he didn't see
That Jane was just a little tease
Who had a thing for chimpanzees!!
So much for our poor jungle Lord
Who got tossed out without a word.

rachaelfuchsberger

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9 posted 10-24-2009 02:40 PM

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~patiently awaiting an analysis of my contribution~

Arana Darkwolf

rachaelfuchsberger

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10 posted 11-02-2009 07:04 PM

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~starts fidgeting~

Goddess grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

Balladeer
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11 posted 11-02-2009 07:19 PM

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Thanks for the budge, Rachel

You started off great but lost it in the last three lines, I'm afraid.

Our FATed LOVE nevER unDONE
ToGEther AS lovERS' hearts BIND
Our FATES will BE alWAYS enTWINED

Actually, that reads....

our FATed LOVE NEVer unDONE
toGETher as LOVers' hearts BIND
our FATES will be ALways enTWINED.

rachaelfuchsberger

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since 02-21-2007
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12 posted 11-02-2009 10:30 PM

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ToGEther WE are LOVE deFINED
And NEVer WE need TO reMIND
That WE will ALways BE as ONE
Till LIFE on EARTH is DEAD and DONE
ToGEther WE are MOON and SUN
ForEVer YOU will BE the ONE
Our SOULS will BE forEVer SPUN
ForEVer WE will BE as ONE
The WORLD will HEAR our LOVE'S oPINE
ForEVer IS not Enough TIME

Goddess grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

rachaelfuchsberger

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since 02-21-2007
Posts 562
Las Vegas, NV, USA

13 posted 11-03-2009 06:32 PM

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~waits patiently for the critique of the re-write~

Goddess grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

Balladeer
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14 posted 11-03-2009 09:05 PM

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Got down to the last sentence!

ForEVer IS not Enough TIME

reads as...

forEVer is NOT eNOUGH TIME
forEVer IS NOT eNOUGH TIME

rachaelfuchsberger

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since 02-21-2007
Posts 562
Las Vegas, NV, USA

15 posted 11-03-2009 09:10 PM

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ToGEther WE are LOVE deFINED
And NEVer WE need TO reMIND
That WE will ALways BE as ONE
Till LIFE on EARTH is DEAD and DONE
ToGEther WE are MOON and SUN
ForEVer YOU will BE the ONE
Our SOULS will BE forEVer SPUN
ForEVer WE will BE as ONE
The WORLD will HEAR our LOVE'S oPINE
Our LOVE is MORE than WHAT'S deFINED

Goddess grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

Alison

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Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

17 posted 11-04-2009 12:03 AM

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When I was young I felt a need,
longed for the day when I could read.
    I sorted books as if to gauge
    that magic time I’d come of age
    to fly out from a silent cage,
    and join the letters on a page.
    Desire could not be assuaged;
    it sparked an ember, born to rage
    until I sat on center stage
    to read as if I were a sage.
There came a day when I was freed
and now I spread the reading seed.

-

Alison

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18 posted 11-09-2009 11:13 PM

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Alison, it is such a pleasure reading you these days. You were not off one syllable or beat in this entire poem....plus the subject matter is very clever.

I applaud you, m'lady

Alison

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since 01-27-2008
Posts 6485
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

19 posted 11-10-2009 01:03 AM

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I wish I was clever enough to express how much this time in the Workshop has meant to me.

You have helped me every step of the way.

Thank you
Alison

Dr.Moose1
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Bewilderment , USA

20 posted 07-14-2010 10:57 AM

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Tarzans' Rebuttal

Jane leave nyumba, made my day,
farasi's punda anyway !
Tumbilis make a better mate
for her to leave I just couldn't wait.
No more "to do" list on my plate,
the swingin' single life is great!
She was one baya, bovu date,
she made me want regurgitate
and write Swahili to translate!
I told her "Leave, don't hesitate,
go take a hike without delay!"
She made me gonjwa, as they say!

miscellanea
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since 06-24-2004
Posts 3893
OH

21 posted 07-16-2010 03:02 AM

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Before the great evaluation... I messed up and didn't read the instructions thoroughly!   Well, that brings it down to at best a"B" bbbbbut, I had fun doing this anyway.   I tried an experiment in using as few words as possible, and in doing that, I completely forgot it was supposed to have a monorhyme in between!   Oh shucks!  Well, here it goes anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

              To Home

To home.   Come alone  with me  to home
And take the path alone of stone.
Beneath  the trees  of leaves and rakes,
Bequeath the bees the pollen safe
When flies to golden cells of hives
  To please their queen of bee’s delight.
Then,home the bees at rest  will take
For not the queen will they forsake.
At forest edge  of homeward go
Where trees  of leaves the wind does blow
Above the eaves alone to roam
To roam with you at home alone

Balladeer
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22 posted 07-16-2010 08:32 AM

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Hey, as long as you had fun, that's something.

Moose, I had always wondered how you became gonjwa!

Eterne
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since 07-21-2010
Posts 61
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23 posted 07-27-2010 08:46 PM

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Marc-Andre, your poem is hilarious!
I think this duo-rhyme was invented to poems like yours :-)

It reads well (plus it's a story), despite the monotonous rhymes in the middle and it does make a perfect sense:

"You must have heard of ducks born black
who cannot swim and cannot quack.
(...)
So don’t be shocked when, in your shack,
you find a parrot that can quack."

Brava! LOL!

Amaryllis
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since 05-20-2010
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In the shadow of the volcano

24 posted 08-10-2010 03:44 PM

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When Autumn`s vagrant zephyrs press
upon September`s youthful zest,
Oh then remember April frayed
by wind and water cavalcade,
or tender May, who with her spade
prepared for June a bright parade
and how July, inspired, made
an August sunshine marmalade,
so let the daylight effervesce
and recognize which is, is best.

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