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Passions in Poetry

The Dynamic Duo(-rhyme)

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Balladeer
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since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


25 posted 08-11-2010 07:15 AM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Beyond impressive, Amaryllis! The form is exact, the meter is perfection, and the poem content is very clever. Thanks so very much for sharing this...
Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 05-20-2010
Posts 1325
Mi now


26 posted 08-11-2010 12:01 PM       View Profile for Amaryllis   Email Amaryllis   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Amaryllis

Thank you so much, Balladeer! It`s fun to be back and to try my hand at these!  
~Amaryllis
Amberzlynnc
Member
since 08-24-2010
Posts 227
New Jersey


27 posted 08-24-2010 02:28 AM       View Profile for Amberzlynnc   Email Amberzlynnc   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Amberzlynnc's Home Page   View IP for Amberzlynnc

I used to write with such a rhyme,
Followed the rules most of the time.
     Until one day I met a man
     Who wrote for him and not for fans.
     His pen touched down without a plan,
     And down the page a poem ran.
     I asked, "Please read?" and he began,
     His words flowed smoothly, better than
     The poems I'd thrown in garbage cans.
     He'd broadened my poetic span.
"Free-verse poems are not a crime",
He said to me, his words sublime.

*Amber

Balladeer
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since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


28 posted 08-24-2010 09:22 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Nice, Amber! Thank you very much for joining in and  welcome. Only one line falters a little..

Followed the rules most of the time.

You need to get away from the trochaic beginning. I would use something like..

Would follow rules most of the time

The rest is exact and very well-written. You have talent, miss.
Amberzlynnc
Member
since 08-24-2010
Posts 227
New Jersey


29 posted 08-24-2010 09:29 PM       View Profile for Amberzlynnc   Email Amberzlynnc   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Amberzlynnc's Home Page   View IP for Amberzlynnc

Thank you very much for the advice!

*Amber

Balladeer
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since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


30 posted 08-24-2010 11:56 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

My pleasure...and it's our pleasure having you join us here.
 
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