How to Join Member's Area Private Library Search Today's Topics p Login
Main Forums Discussion Tech Talk Mature Content Archives
   Nav Win
 Main Forums
 Poetry Workshop
 Put a Hexsonneta on Me!!!!   [ Page: 1  2  ]
 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24
Follow us on Facebook

 Moderated by: Nan, Balladeer   (Admins )

 
User Options
Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Not Available
Admin Print Send ECard
Passions in Poetry

Put a Hexsonneta on Me!!!!

 Post A Reply Post New Topic   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


0 posted 09-24-2009 08:09 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer


                  HexSonnetta


The HexSonnetta consists of two six-line stanzas and a finishing rhyming
couplet with the following set of rules:

Meter: Iambic Trimeter
Rhyme Scheme: a/bb/aa/b c/dd/cc/d ee

Iambic Trimeter means the usual iambic (alternating unstressed/stressed) meter for every line of the poem,
but instead of the ten syllables that comprise a typical sonnet's iambic pentameter, this particular form uses
six syllables of iambic trimeter per line. Thus, the name HexSonnetta. The first part of the form’s name refers
to the syllable count per line. The second part of the name, Sonnetta, is to show this to be a form similar
to the sonnet, yet with its shorter lines and different rhyme scheme, it is not the typical sonnet. Not only
does this poem have six syllables per line, it also has a set of two six-line stanzas, giving an extra “hex” to
the meaning of HexSonnetta. The rhyme scheme is a bit of a mixture of the two traditional sonnet types,
with the two 6-line stanzas having more the rhyme scheme of an Italian sonnet, but with the ending rhyming
couplet being the featured rhyme scheme of the English sonnet. The first stanza presents the theme of the
poem, with the second stanza serving to change the tone of the poem, to introduce a new aspect of the
theme or to give added details. The final couplet, as in an English sonnet, can be either a summary (if the
theme is simple) or it could be the resolution to a problem presented in the theme. In any event, it should
nicely tie together the whole piece and could even appear as a nice “twist” presented at the end.


The Woebegone

As wind begins to blow,
she’s lying in her bed.
Is he alive or dead?
She doesn’t even know.
And as it starts to snow,
her doubts fill up her head.

She finds no answers why.
To such sad fate she’s bound.
Wind makes a mournful sound.
The woman starts to cry,
and snow from dismal sky
falls heavy on the ground.

Like fields piled high with snow,
She’s buried in her woe.

Copyright © 2009 Andrea Dietrich


serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


1 posted 09-24-2009 09:15 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

Love the example--

and methinks yer tryin' to tempt a witch with that topic line!

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


2 posted 09-24-2009 09:28 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 09-05-99
Posts 3505
Bewilderment , USA


3 posted 09-25-2009 07:15 AM       View Profile for Dr.Moose1   Email Dr.Moose1   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dr.Moose1

Balladeer,
In your example the ending couplet wraps around to rhyme with "a", although your description does not specifically call for
it. Am I correct in assuming this can be written either way ?
Doc

Befalls a silent hush
on opening prelude
symphonic solitude
as Nature wields her brush
with whispered strokes to shush
all that which would intrude

Beneath the thesholds' sounds
the thrum of backround noise
ones' thoughts acquire a poise
that's very seldom found
where content knows no bounds
a means that one employs

to ban the crass and crude
from needed interludes

[This message has been edited by Dr.Moose1 (09-25-2009 08:13 AM).]

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


4 posted 09-25-2009 10:00 AM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

No, Doc, the couplet is not tied in to any other stanza. The fact that it happened to relate to A is probably just coincidence.

Excellent poem. I confess I had a little trouble following your thoughts in the last half of the second stanza but I have trouble following a lot of things! Also, the ending couplet normally stands alone and is a summary of the poem, in sonnet style.

Hey, if one just wants a "Nice poem!" (which I know you don't), one can go to Open!

p.s. check the positioning of your apostrophies.
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 08-27-2002
Posts 40647
Realms of Light


5 posted 09-25-2009 01:04 PM       View Profile for Earth Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Earth Angel's Home Page   View IP for Earth Angel

Doctor ~ I enjoyed the symphonic solitude of Nature's whispered interlude. Beautiful!


LL
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 08-27-2002
Posts 40647
Realms of Light


6 posted 09-25-2009 01:13 PM       View Profile for Earth Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Earth Angel's Home Page   View IP for Earth Angel

Well, I'm back to try my hand/pen/keys at a HexSonneta! ~ After I put a "hex" on thee! ~ Oh, do not fear, Deer! My hexes are just little loving spells. ~ Afterall, I'm an 'angel'.

Down Lover's Lane   (HexSonneta)

Down Lover's Lane they strolled,  
in love beyond compare.  
~ With dreams of lives to share.  
As one, they would grow old,    
from day the church bells tolled.  
~ In love without a care.  

But wailing winds of fate,  
cast rains on their romance.  
~ No longer would they dance.  
In spite of his new mate,  
forever she would wait  
~ And pray for one more chance.  

He left with words unsaid.
~ No longer would they wed.

LLD

[This message has been edited by Earth Angel (09-25-2009 05:43 PM).]

Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 09-05-99
Posts 3505
Bewilderment , USA


7 posted 09-25-2009 01:32 PM       View Profile for Dr.Moose1   Email Dr.Moose1   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dr.Moose1

EA,
Thanks, but I guess it needs a little work.
Doc

Balladeer,

Point well taken, I'll be back.
Doc
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


8 posted 09-25-2009 11:27 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Hello, Angel! You did very well on the construction....nice.

No longer would they dance.  
In spite of his new mate,  
forever she would wait  
~ And pray for one more chance.  

That just doesn't get it for me...sorry.

Nailing the structure is a good thing but the poem needs to be striking. You can do better....
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 08-27-2002
Posts 40647
Realms of Light


9 posted 09-26-2009 12:29 AM       View Profile for Earth Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Earth Angel's Home Page   View IP for Earth Angel

I can see where you are going with that comment. The "No longer would they dance" was actually meant to be a continuation of the preceding lines. That is why I had an "~" in front of it.
If one was to readi it as you have copied it below, it sucks! lol

No longer would they dance.  
In spite of his new mate,  
forever she would wait  
~ And pray for one more chance.

This is how it played out in my mind.

But wailing winds of fate,  
cast rains on their romance.  
~ No longer would they dance.  

In spite of his new mate,  
forever she would wait  
~ And pray for one more chance.

Perhaps if I changed the punctuation, the poem would read better in the reader's head! lol

How's this, deer teacher?

But wailing winds of fate,  
cast rains on their romance.  
~ No longer would they dance.  
In spite of his new mate,  
~ forever she would wait,  
and pray for one more chance.

Might I also say that I find this poetic form rather chopped, forced, and contrived. ~ Unless that is just the way that I'm writing it! lol
I enjoy trying out the variety of forms that you have given us. Several have now become favourites of mine. Trust me, the HexSonneta is not one of them.
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


10 posted 09-26-2009 12:44 AM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Ok, but if it was meant to be a continuation of the preceding line, why did the preceding line end with a period? The "in spite of his new mate" also gives me problems.

Hey, that's just me. It may all be perfectly feasible in your eyes and that's fine. You are the one that has to be happy with it and, if you are, end of story!

Your poems, especially as of late, have been so smooth and beautiful and self-explanatory. This one strayed from that for me...don;t hate me!
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


11 posted 09-26-2009 12:48 AM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Aha! I see, from the addition to your last comment, the problem. You are just not happy with the form. Hey, that's fine. It's not easy to write a smooth-flowing poem in a form you don''t care for...perfectly understandable. I still appreciate your making the attempt. You're a trooper!
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 08-27-2002
Posts 40647
Realms of Light


12 posted 09-26-2009 01:13 AM       View Profile for Earth Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Earth Angel's Home Page   View IP for Earth Angel

Balladeer, regarding your following comments ~

"Ok, but if it was meant to be a continuation of the preceding line, why did the preceding line end with a period? The "in spite of his new mate" also gives me problems."

~ Good point regarding the period. Punctuation is not my strong suit. I shall remove it. As for the "In spite" line, I wasn't too keen on that line either, so I will change it ~ and hopefully you and I will both be happy campers!

Okay, let's give this another try.

Down Lover's Lane   (HexSonneta)

Down Lover's Lane they strolled,  
in love beyond compare,
with dreams of lives to share.  
As one, they would grow old,    
from day the church bells tolled,  
in love without a care.  

But wailing winds of fate,  
cast rains on their romance
~ no longer would they dance.  
Although he had new mate,
forever she would wait
and pray for one more chance.

He left with words unsaid
~ no longer would they wed.


LLD


How could anyone "hate" someone as deer as you?
I appreciated your suggestions. This was a good exercise, however, I will not be posting this HexSonneta in Open ~ and you and I both know why! lol

Goodnight, good knight!
LL



[This message has been edited by Earth Angel (09-26-2009 02:35 PM).]

rachaelfuchsberger
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 02-21-2007
Posts 609
Leesburg, FL, USA


13 posted 09-26-2009 03:49 PM       View Profile for rachaelfuchsberger   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for rachaelfuchsberger

Here's my go at it....

Love That's Led By Fate

i LOVE that DARK black HAIR
i'm LOST in DEEP blue EYES
so DROP your HARD disGUISE
that PAIN my HEART will SPARE
and LOVE will BLOSsom FAIR
as IF it's LIFE'S surPRISE

you HID for QUITE a WHILE
the NAture OF your HEART
and MADE it HARD to START
i HAD to USE my WILE
to MAKE you LAUGH and SMILE
to HAVE the LOVer's PART

and NOW we CELeBRATE
our LOVE that's LED by FATE


Arana Darkwolf
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 08-27-2002
Posts 40647
Realms of Light


14 posted 09-26-2009 04:03 PM       View Profile for Earth Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Earth Angel's Home Page   View IP for Earth Angel

Rachael, I'm no expert on writing a HexSonneta  (as mine surely shows!), however, I will say this about your poem, it is full of heart and soul! Very sweet! ~ Just like you!


Linda
rachaelfuchsberger
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 02-21-2007
Posts 609
Leesburg, FL, USA


15 posted 09-26-2009 04:07 PM       View Profile for rachaelfuchsberger   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for rachaelfuchsberger

Thank you, Linda. It's somewhat reflective of how my current relationship began, and is now going.

Arana Darkwolf

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


16 posted 09-26-2009 06:12 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Rachael, this is excellent! The form is exact, the meter is perfect and the content exemplary. You have come a long way with regards to meter and continue to improve. I'm proud of you
rachaelfuchsberger
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 02-21-2007
Posts 609
Leesburg, FL, USA


17 posted 09-26-2009 06:56 PM       View Profile for rachaelfuchsberger   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for rachaelfuchsberger

Thank you, Sir! I'm glad I finally got an iambic one on the first try! ~does a happy dance~

Arana Darkwolf

Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 01-27-2008
Posts 9055
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!


18 posted 09-27-2009 03:27 AM       View Profile for Alison   Email Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

Rachael -



xoxoxo
Z
rachaelfuchsberger
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 02-21-2007
Posts 609
Leesburg, FL, USA


19 posted 09-27-2009 12:39 PM       View Profile for rachaelfuchsberger   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for rachaelfuchsberger

Thanks, Z.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Arana Darkwolf

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 08-27-2002
Posts 40647
Realms of Light


20 posted 09-28-2009 04:15 PM       View Profile for Earth Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Earth Angel's Home Page   View IP for Earth Angel

Well, here I come again! I'm determined to get this form right.

The Titan and the Fool  (HexSonneta)

While passing local bar,
I spied a burly guy
with patch upon his eye.
He smoked a long cigar
and spat in mason jar.
~ He stood near eight feet high!

As Titan turned his head,
a drunken bleary bloke.
gave giant’s ribs a poke
With wide eyes filled with dread,
the fool then up and fled,
as Titan snorted smoke!

So, pick on your own size
~ far bigger is unwise!


LLD

[This message has been edited by Earth Angel (09-28-2009 08:53 PM).]

rachaelfuchsberger
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 02-21-2007
Posts 609
Leesburg, FL, USA


21 posted 09-29-2009 07:25 PM       View Profile for rachaelfuchsberger   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for rachaelfuchsberger

EarthAngel,
I like this latest attempt. Only ~looks around~ I wonder where our good Sir Balladeer has got off to.

Arana Darkwolf

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


22 posted 09-29-2009 07:29 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

LOL! Ah, Angel, I knew you weren't a quitter...and you came back flawlessly. Perfect form and the sonnet-line condensation at the end. The world may now continue to spin...
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 08-27-2002
Posts 40647
Realms of Light


23 posted 09-29-2009 11:26 PM       View Profile for Earth Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Earth Angel's Home Page   View IP for Earth Angel

Rachael, you're a pet. Thank you! ~ and as for Balladeer, I had been wondering the same thing. He might have been thinking, oh no! ~ Not another choppy HexSonetta from Linda!
lol


LL
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 08-27-2002
Posts 40647
Realms of Light


24 posted 09-29-2009 11:27 PM       View Profile for Earth Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Earth Angel's Home Page   View IP for Earth Angel

Balladeer ~

Aww so, mastah! Me happy that you happy.

LL
 
 Post A Reply Post New Topic   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
All times are ET (US) Top
  User Options
>> Main Forums >> Poetry Workshop >> Put a Hexsonneta on Me!!!!   [ Page: 1  2  ] Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Not Available
Print Send ECard

 

pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Today's Topics | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary



© Passions in Poetry and netpoets.com 1998-2013
All Poetry and Prose is copyrighted by the individual authors