Put a Hexsonneta on Me!!!!

Dr.Moose1
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since 09-05-99
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Bewilderment , USA

25 posted 09-30-2009 11:14 AM

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Place a hex on this poem
turn its meter around
twist it until it sounds
like it's so far from home
it was written by gnomes
from the poem underground

work it like rented mules
see how far you can go
Anapest? maybe so
use a few different tools
break a couple of rules
and you're done, don't ya know!

Then just run it by "Deer"
like you've nothing to fear!

Balladeer
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26 posted 09-30-2009 02:30 PM

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LOL! Well, you've certainly broken the rules on this one, Doc. You have mashed meter mercilessly....intentionally, I have no doubt.

Nice example!

Earth Angel
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since 08-27-2002
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Realms of Light

27 posted 09-30-2009 03:30 PM

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Oh, my deer Moosie One, I love the sense of hoomah of you two cervine creatures! lol

Hmmm, you've given me an idea, Doc!!! Next time I 'murdalize' the meter of a poem, I'll simply say I did it on purpose to get a laugh! Mind you, I know your's WAS intentional. Mine would actually be a case of inept writing!

Dr.Moose1
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since 09-05-99
Posts 2793
Bewilderment , USA

28 posted 09-30-2009 04:30 PM

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Balladeer,
Lol, sorry couldn't resist. Btw, I posted a real one in open "Halloween Hexsonnetta", I'd give you the link but I'm not good at that stuff.
Doc

EA,
Lol, as Nan used to say,"you gotta know the rules before you can break 'em", otherwise it's just a mistake. Fun stuff.
Doc

Balladeer
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29 posted 09-30-2009 05:34 PM

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First time I've seen autumnal used in poem...I LIKE it!

Actually I looked up the pronounciation, not being sure if it was iambic or not...and it is. How could I have doubted you???

Dr.Moose1
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since 09-05-99
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Bewilderment , USA

30 posted 10-01-2009 08:38 AM

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Ty Maestro,
You do tend to inspire us to put forth our best efforts.
Doc

Alison

Member Ascendant
since 01-27-2008
Posts 5383
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

31 posted 10-01-2009 03:42 PM

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CORRECTED IN POST #33

Relentless winds sing shrill.
Spruce trees are dwarfed in twists
and towards the south they list.
Upon the windy hills
the air is never still.
It bathes the day in mist.

Smooth rocks now wind-swept bones;
once set by Divine hands,
they scatter �cross the lands
where the ghosts of Mammoth roam.
In winds, they seek their home
and gather spectral bands.

Its needs can not be filled -
this wind that shrieks and trills.

-

Alison

I am not loving this poem, but I am kick starting myself back into the swing of things.

xoxoxo

[This message has been edited by Alison (10-01-2009 07:09 PM).]

Dr.Moose1
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since 09-05-99
Posts 2793
Bewilderment , USA

32 posted 10-01-2009 06:59 PM

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Alison,
I'm liking the picture, with but two exceptions. Second stanza, lines two, and four, both break meter, but hey, then again, this ain't my job, and I could very well be wrong.
Doc

Alison

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since 01-27-2008
Posts 5383
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

33 posted 10-01-2009 07:11 PM

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Thank you, Doc. I hope this cleans it up.

A

---

Relentless winds sing shrill.
Spruce trees are dwarfed in twists
and towards the south they list.
Upon the windy hills
the air is never still.
It bathes the day in mist.

Smooth rocks, now wind-swept bones,
were brushed with silty sands;
then worn smooth �cross the lands
where ghosts of Mammoth roam.
In winds, they seek their home
and gather spectral bands.

Its needs can not be filled -
this wind that shrieks and trills.

-

Alison

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 08-27-2002
Posts 39662
Realms of Light

34 posted 10-01-2009 08:08 PM

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Alison! You're back!!! Missed you!

Fantastic imagery and atmosphere in your poem! I could almost hear the ghosts of mammoths thundering across the tundra!

~ and oh, the wind!!! Love the wind!

Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 09-05-99
Posts 2793
Bewilderment , USA

35 posted 10-01-2009 10:14 PM

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Alison,
I do believe you've got it, by Jove, but as I said, 'tis not my forum, I'll await the official ruling.
Doc

Alison

Member Ascendant
since 01-27-2008
Posts 5383
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

36 posted 10-01-2009 11:42 PM

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Thank you both - and, Linda, I have missed you too.

Now ... I wait for the final decision of our beloved teacher.

xoxoox

Alison

Member Ascendant
since 01-27-2008
Posts 5383
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

37 posted 10-02-2009 10:58 AM

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I did this one too, dear Balladeer (#33).

Thanky kindly, Oh wise one.

xoxoxo
A

Balladeer
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Member Seraphic
since 06-05-99
Posts 21532
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

38 posted 10-02-2009 04:19 PM

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Moose, you are right on both counts. The lines WERE out of sync that you quoted and the correction DID clear them up....nicely done by both of you.

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