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Passions in Poetry

Help with technique.

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Marley Sexton
New Member
since 08-06-2009
[First Post] 3


0 posted 08-06-2009 04:16 PM       View Profile for Marley Sexton   Email Marley Sexton   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marley Sexton


Okay, I started writing poetry about a month ago, just as i started the section of my english GCSE that was to do with poetry, and i'm slowly getting better. But as i read others Poetry on various sites, i find that i seem to be missing something and they flow much better.

So anyway i've added a poem i wrote a week ago, you can be as brutly honest as you wish, maybe you could help me with my Technique, Thanks!

--
Bury me.
--
Upon my death,
Bury me please.

Bury me high,
So i Overlook the sky.

Bury me with pride,
So that i may not cry.

Bury me with a stone,
So i may be Known.

Bury me with a precession,
So my death is an accession.

Bury me in peace,
So my pain shalt cease.

Bury me with a dove,
So i may know your love.

Bury me without guilt,
So your life can be rebuilt.

Bury me a tree,
So i may be free.

Bury me Please.
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


1 posted 08-06-2009 07:45 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Welcome, Marley, to the site and the workshop. In the poetry workshop we do not critique other's work. We create assignments and grade on how well the assignments are done. You can choose a lesson from the many we have listed here and submit something pertaining to that lesson. If you wish a critique of your poetry, simply post it in the Open forum and request advice....by the way, you have the "do not encourage critiques" marked in your profile. You need to change that if you want critiques or advice.

We hope you enjoy your stay here
Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 01-27-2008
Posts 9055
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!


2 posted 08-07-2009 02:14 AM       View Profile for Alison   Email Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

Hey Marley,

Welcome.  I hope that you join in on the lessons.  They have sure helped me.



Alison
Oklahoma Rose
Senior Member
since 02-28-2008
Posts 1585
Oklahoma USA


3 posted 08-08-2009 12:44 PM       View Profile for Oklahoma Rose   Email Oklahoma Rose   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Oklahoma Rose

Hi Marley! Welcome to Pip and the workshop. I do hope you enjoy your stay here. You can't go wrong with Balladeer helping you. He is the BEST!
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


4 posted 08-08-2009 04:34 PM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

Welcome, Marley - We're always happy to see new versers join our fray.  Bring your quill & tablet and settle in.  You're in for a treat!



Nan's Morsels Writers' Blog

 
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