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Passions in Poetry

Me Terzanelle - You Game??

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Alison
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since 01-27-2008
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Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!


25 posted 07-25-2009 12:40 AM       View Profile for Alison   Email Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

Girly with the brown eyes .. it was all of like 9:42 pm when I wrote that last message.  I live in a different world of time.

A
brneyedgrly
Senior Member
since 06-08-2009
Posts 1126
nowhere and everywhere


26 posted 07-25-2009 09:34 AM       View Profile for brneyedgrly   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for brneyedgrly


girly with the big heart...it must be neat to be in your own world of time...

I kinda live in my own world of time, too

              

now I'm gonna quit talkin' in this forum before I get scolded by the teacher!!

                  
shel
Oklahoma Rose
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since 02-28-2008
Posts 1585
Oklahoma USA


27 posted 07-25-2009 10:09 AM       View Profile for Oklahoma Rose   Email Oklahoma Rose   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Oklahoma Rose

Hi Doc!
  You are about seven years ahead of me with poetry. At the time I started writing poetry, I wasn't working. So, I had a lot of time to write. But, as you know, my so called poetry was awful, then. There was some yahoo poetry clubs back then, which closed shortly after I joined. Those yahoo poetry clubs had challenges. So I attempted to write poetry. Someone, who evidently belonged to one of the clubs invited me here. And, that is when I joined Pip. He must have seen something good out of what I wrote. LOL! Anyway, that is when I staarted writing poetry. Everyone in the workshop seems to be able to come up with a topic alot easier, than I can. I work as a home health aide and a CNA. Right now, the work I do real wears me out. So, I am very tired by the time I get home. Too tired to even think. LOL! But, it seems to me, that I should still be able to think of a topic to write about. Anyway! Thank you for reply to my reply.

[This message has been edited by Oklahoma Rose (07-26-2009 12:13 AM).]

Alison
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Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!


28 posted 08-02-2009 02:16 AM       View Profile for Alison   Email Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

Those incandescent smoky skies
So red they make the moon these nights
As filleted scars bleed when ashes fly

The winds appease raging fires bright
And bullies trees to bend at will
So red they make the moon these nights

The flames lie down, the frenzy stills
Until their laughter brings on day
And bullies trees to bend at will

Again the sparks fly high in play
They dance among the branches dry
Until their laughter brings on day

Not caring that the trees will cry
While taunting, teasing as fire burns
They dance among the branches dry

Those incandescent smoky skies
The haze will cover brilliant blue
As filleted scars bleed when ashes fly
And red flows like blood on the moon

-

Alison
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Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


29 posted 08-02-2009 09:50 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Nice to see you back, Alison! Too bad you didn't bring your meter with you. Only kidding...it's not that bad. Just three basic sentences that need work....


as FIL-leted SCARS BLEED when ASH-es FLY.....the meter is off, plus there is an extra syllable

The WINDS ap-PEASE  RAG-ing FIRES BRIGHT

And RED FLOWS like BLOOD ON the MOON.

"bullies" should be "bully, referring to winds............aside from those little points, you done good!!!!!!!

Alison
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Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!


30 posted 08-03-2009 03:36 AM       View Profile for Alison   Email Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

Ack!  I am on it.  It's not me - it was the Mike's Hard Lemonade!  Honest!  Moose put it in my lunch box thermos and told me it was lemonade.  Honest!  Alaskans know you can't trust a moose - but hey, he's a doc too!  Confusing combination.  It really is ....

wanders out to fix the meter that marches out of tune
Alison
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Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!


31 posted 08-03-2009 04:25 AM       View Profile for Alison   Email Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

I probably shouldn't attempt this so late at night .. but I had to.

--

That incandescent smoky sky
So red it makes the moon these nights
As if it bleeds when ashes fly

The wind is teasing flame’s high heights
And bullies trees to bend at will
So red it makes the moon these nights

The fires lay down; the frenzy stills
Then cravings surge to burn the day
And bullies trees to bend at will

Again the sparks fly high in play
To dance among the branches dry
Then cravings surge to burn the day

Not caring that some trees will die
A need is sated as it burns
To dance among the branches dry

That incandescent smoky sky
The haze will cover brilliant blue
As if it bleeds when ashes fly
And crimson red now hides the moon

-

Alison
Oklahoma Rose
Senior Member
since 02-28-2008
Posts 1585
Oklahoma USA


32 posted 08-04-2009 07:57 AM       View Profile for Oklahoma Rose   Email Oklahoma Rose   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Oklahoma Rose

Alison, it looks good to me. But ummmmm, I better leave this to the por. I think you're great.
Earth Angel
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since 08-27-2002
Posts 40647
Realms of Light


33 posted 08-04-2009 10:38 AM       View Profile for Earth Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Earth Angel's Home Page   View IP for Earth Angel

Alison, that was stunning! ~ and tragic! ~ and beautifully penned. Gosh, yer good, Lasky Girl!

These calamatous wildfires render complete and utter devastation on so many levels. ~ The loss of fauna, flora, ~ even people! Then there are the other costs ~ financial, ecological, loss of homes, loss of jobs ~ The damages are exponential.

Love you!

Linder Lou
Alison
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Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!


34 posted 08-04-2009 11:05 AM       View Profile for Alison   Email Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

Thank you, darlings Sue and Linda -

Hopefully, it gets the "deer seal of approval.  It ain't wine until it's time or something like that.

Wildfires in Alaska are different than so many places.  We have one burned almost 2.5 million acres to date this year.  Right now there is a battle to protect a village, but for the most part the burning is in uninhabited areas.  I think most animals can move on before the fires reach them.  It's always sad to me, but new growth is good for the moose, grouse, etc.  It's natural here for the most part.  Lots of lightning fires on land that is limited access - so not many homes.  Maybe some cabins that are protected if they are legal.  Also, wildland fire fighting is a huge economic boon and provides lots of summer jobs which tide people over for the winter.

It's a bad and good thing these fires.

Oh the smoke wrecks havoc on asthmatics like me.

xoxoxo
Alison
Oklahoma Rose
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since 02-28-2008
Posts 1585
Oklahoma USA


35 posted 08-04-2009 11:20 AM       View Profile for Oklahoma Rose   Email Oklahoma Rose   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Oklahoma Rose

Oh my, Alison! That's awful. I am an asthmatic, too. So, I understand how that smoke affects you. Try to stay in as much as you possibly can.
Alison
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Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!


36 posted 08-05-2009 12:43 AM       View Profile for Alison   Email Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

Points up a few posts to my last edit on the poem!

Oklahoma Rose
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since 02-28-2008
Posts 1585
Oklahoma USA


37 posted 08-05-2009 12:29 PM       View Profile for Oklahoma Rose   Email Oklahoma Rose   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Oklahoma Rose

Alison even in the workshop, your poems (right or wrong meter)are beautiful.
Balladeer
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Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


38 posted 08-05-2009 02:01 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Alison, let the happy dance begin. This is one of the best things I have read...anywhere. Every accent in place and it flows like honey. It's a beautiful piece of work.

If I were to have any criticism at all (like I always do), I would suggest changing the "high heights". That comes out a little on the clumsy side. I would go with tall heights or something similar.

It's a piece to be proud of, husky lady
Alison
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Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!


39 posted 08-06-2009 02:09 AM       View Profile for Alison   Email Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

That incandescent smoky sky
So red it makes the moon these nights
As if it bleeds when ashes fly

The winds will tease the flames to heights
And bully trees to bend at will
So red it makes the moon these nights

The fires lay down; the frenzy stills
Then cravings surge to burn the day
And bully trees to bend at will

Again the sparks fly high in play
To dance among the branches dry
Then cravings surge to burn the day

Not caring that some trees will die
A need is sated as it burns
To dance among the branches dry

That incandescent smoky sky
The haze will cover brilliant blue
As if it bleeds when ashes fly
And crimson red now hides the moon

-

Alison

--

Balladeer -

I can't tell you how much I have learned from you - I can only try to show you.  I remember not understanding what I did was wrong - I just knew I needed help.  I still need your help, but I am beginning to see what is wrong.  

Thank you -



Alison

Balladeer
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since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


40 posted 08-06-2009 07:29 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

You're welcome, Alison. I didn't create the pearl. I just opened the shell polished it a little. The pearl is all you
 
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