A Little Rispetto, if you please

Balladeer
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since 06-05-99
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Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

0 posted 07-14-2009 11:30 AM

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Ok, one more time to get your meter running....
A Rispetto, an Italian form of poetry, is a complete poem of two rhyme quatrains with strict meter.
The meter is usually iambic tetrameter with a rhyme scheme of abab ccdd.  A Heroic Rispetto is
written in Iambic pentameter, usually featuring the same rhyme scheme.

Anita's Realm

Anita, lovely poetess,
sees nature's beauty all around,
feels wind of summer's soft caress,
and hears the magic in its sound.

She sits to write in quiet hours
when from her realm of thought sweet flowers
spring forth!  She plucks and sets them free
as lyric words of poetry.

Copyright © 2006 Andrea Dietrich

Dr.Moose1
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since 09-05-99
Posts 2764
Bewilderment , USA

1 posted 07-15-2009 12:05 PM

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Heeeeeeeer's Balladeer!

Straight forward and most righteous dude
no tricks and nothing up my sleeve,
in truth one can't help but conclude
it's Dr.Moose I do believe !

Applying for a new job here
as side kick to Sir Balladeer.
Like Ed Mcmahon to Johnny C.
but, better yet I'll work for *free

Heeeeere's Balladeer! It's got a ring
he'd make the perfect late nite host
and I could do the straight man thing
we'd make it huge from coast to coast!

The sky's the limit, yessiree
the masses crave such poetry.
The perfect money making scheme!
(too bad it's an unlikely dream)

Yet here at Pip we're good to go
at least we are from where I stand
I'm just not sure about "Deer" though
or what agenda he has planned,

perhaps based in reality
which more than likely excludes me.
I'd visit there more often but
they tend to think I'm just a nut!

They say that all good things must end
I s'pose that goes for this thing too
regardless what you think m'friend
I bet this didn't occur to you.

A sidekick who's a moose that's nuts
kicks serious poetic butt!

*subject to renegotiation

Balladeer
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since 06-05-99
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Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

5 posted 07-16-2009 08:01 AM

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The Balladeer and Dr. Moose
The stars of our late nite tv?
You must be swirlin' happy juice
Or flying high, it seems to me.

Although it would be quite a blast
I fear our glory days are passed.
It would have been, to tell the truth,
A piece of cake when we had youth.

A Sancho Panza you would make
To match my Don Quixote stride.
No windmill would be hard to take
With such a partner at my side.

Or Tonto? You're a natural
To ride with your Lone Ranger pal
And we could give Mayberry life
To have you as my Barney Fife.

Groucho? Harpo? That's our venue
Though we would be one stooge short.
I'll get Toe to fill the menu.
He'll be happy to report.

Batman and Robin would be two
That it would be a snap to do
Fighting murder, crime and rape
(How do you look in a cape?)

Bullwinkle to my Rocky squirrel
Starsky to your good pal Hutch
I would always get the girl
While you could drive the car and such.

But, I must say, on second thought,
These roles of "seconds" fit you not.
The starring roles would suit you, too
And I could be the lead for you.

Let's both be, then, like Brett and Bart,
And ride the prairies side by side,
Two mavericks with common heart
Who uses laughter as their guide.

Yes,Dr. Moose and Balladeer
Are two of Passion's cavaliers
Where "one for all and all for one"
Means, "Hey, you guys. Let's have some fun!"

Balladeer
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since 06-05-99
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Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

6 posted 07-16-2009 08:06 AM

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Maureen, I see no problem with that second verse in the example, as long as one treats "flowers" as a one-syllable word, which is acceptable. If you see anything else, let me know.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 10-29-2000
Posts 18026
Between the Lines

7 posted 07-16-2009 08:35 AM

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Sierra Smiles (A Rispetto)

Sierra sweet, unblemished heart
takes hold of thoughts from Grandpa Dave
remembering, of his depart
as we go through his things to save.

The photos of, from walls we took
with tearing eyes in after-look.
A day we spent in memories.
Sierra smiles, this time to seize.

A baby in the lap of old
now fourteen years, she's not denied
the knowing of a love, she's told
from pictured words that books provide.

Bagged and tied, we rid of stuff.
Too much he saved, we laughed enough
when clearing out each pocket's find:
a mint, a clip, toothpick, combined.

The same we found in hand bags, still,
belonging to my sister, gone.
Five years of kept, this day until
we placed the rid of, on the lawn.

Sierra smiles this day with me
enjoying what we once could see
and feel from Dave and Marcia, each:
love left behind, within our reach.

M

~~well I spent yesterday with a great niece and nephew emptying out some of the rooms of my sister and brother-in-law's home since they are both "gone" now~~ and Michael, we did have some fun moments so it's not all sad

Balladeer
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9 posted 07-16-2009 08:51 AM

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Wow, Maureen...that is great! It's such a somber and melancholy topic and you made me feel every bit of it...beautiful work!

ahem, having said that, (and being the ogre I am) I have to question one line..

The photos of, from walls we took

Photos of? Of what? I don't see where you followed up on that or why it was even necessary, when "photographs, from walls we took" would have done very nicely. Perhaps I'm overlooking something?

nakdthoughts
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since 10-29-2000
Posts 18026
Between the Lines

10 posted 07-16-2009 09:04 AM

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I was thinking the photos of all the things in our memories,..you have to understand I have lived in this Pennsylvania Dutch area for almost 35 years now..I seem to switch words around like they do sometimes.

and I had photographs first, then changed it..

I think those who know me and even sometimes read me will understand what I meant. It's a "quirk" I have.

Dr.Moose1
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since 09-05-99
Posts 2764
Bewilderment , USA

12 posted 07-16-2009 12:43 PM

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So, Pip it is oh wordy one
where we will raise both roof and bar
and do it in the name of fun
it's not like we'd like being stars

or sidekicks for that matter too
I told the networks that we're through
six figure contracts ain't all that
we're stayin' at Pip, that's where it's at

Earth Angel
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since 08-27-2002
Posts 39074
Realms of Light

14 posted 07-17-2009 10:59 PM

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Well, 'tis a bit intimitating having read the rispettos before my offering! I was totally entertained by those by the two Horned Ones and moved by the sombre beauty of the Naked One.

The Crone

As scudding clouds crossed waning moon
Long shadows drank up lambent light
With piercing scream, I reeled in swoon.
~ And wrapped wool cloak around me tight.

My eyes were wide in primal fear,
As darkness crept o’er crypt and bier.
Before me loomed a bent, old crone.
~ Which chilled me through from skin to bone.

Dead leaves were rustling, swirling ‘round.
Tree branches creaked in blust’ry gale.
Night creatures stalked the barren ground,
In search of victims weak and frail.

I could not move nor could I speak.
My throat was dry. ~ My knees were weak.
As clouds dispersed and Luna cleared,
~ The horrid crone just disappeared!

LLD

Oklahoma Rose
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since 02-28-2008
Posts 1190
Oklahoma USA

15 posted 07-18-2009 12:32 AM

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Ok, Sir Balladeer! Here is a little something for this assignment. It may not be the best, but it's a start. I'll try to write a better one teacher, Sir.

Iambic Meter

I read and write and try so hard
To get this iambic meter wrote
I can not seem to get too far
Although I take a lot of notes

I say the words out loud to hear
And keep my dictionary near
Just hoping I will get it right
Then maybe I can sleep at night

OklahomaRose

Balladeer
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16 posted 07-18-2009 09:22 AM

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Angel, your mind must be a wonderful place to visit!

In other words...I LIKE it! Great form and a 9 on the weird scale....something only from the pen (or keyboard) of our own Earth Angel!

Balladeer
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17 posted 07-18-2009 09:30 AM

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Rose, you are getting closer. Change "even" to "although" in the last line of the first stanza and it's perfect iambic. The second stanza is perfect as it it...no problems.

Your second line....well, we have problems there. First of all, it's not iambic and has too many syllables. Second, except on reruns of the Beverly Hillbillies, nothing gets "wrote", it gets written. Work on the second line, change even to although, and you have a good finished product.

You're almost there!

Earth Angel
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Realms of Light

18 posted 07-18-2009 11:13 AM

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Balladeer, my mind may be a "wonderful place to visit" ~ but I sure wouldn't want to live there!

It's even too much for me at times! lol

Thanks for the AOK, Teach!

rachaelfuchsberger
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since 02-21-2007
Posts 265
Las Vegas, NV, USA

19 posted 07-18-2009 01:40 PM

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Ok...so after my complete failure at the last one, let's soldier on...here's my go at this one:

Perhaps my friend Oliver Twist
Needs help to let his voice project
If he wants them to hear his list
Whenever he asks with respect

Sir Balladeer will you help me
My meter is missing the beat
My rhyming needs nothing else more
But meter seems to be a chore

Arana Darkwolf

Oklahoma Rose
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since 02-28-2008
Posts 1190
Oklahoma USA

20 posted 07-18-2009 03:09 PM

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Sir Balladeer, I started to put "Although", but thought it would be wrong.

I'll see if I can write another one. A better one!

P.S. As for the word "Wrote", I figured that. But, I couldn't think of anything else at the time. And, since I took another look at "Iambic", after you pointing it out to me, I see where it doesn't fit the syllable count. That sentance is going to be a hard one to fix. But, I'll try.

[This message has been edited by Oklahoma Rose (07-18-2009 04:14 PM).]

Oklahoma Rose
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since 02-28-2008
Posts 1190
Oklahoma USA

21 posted 07-18-2009 04:47 PM

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Ok Balladeer, how about this?

Iambic Meter

I read and write and try so hard
And, try to make those words just float
I can not seem to get too far
Although I take a lot of notes

I say the words out loud to hear
And keep my dictionary near
Just hoping I will get it right
Then maybe I can sleep at night

Oklahoma Rose

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 08-27-2002
Posts 39074
Realms of Light

22 posted 07-18-2009 05:02 PM

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Oklahoma's finest Rose! I'll jump the gun like you did when you praised a poem of mine before it was critiqued by the Master, but I think you did a fine job with this Rosetta! Ooops, that's a Stone! I guess your name somehow slipped in and slipped me up! lol

I meant to say Rispetto! Your tenacity and perseverance paid off!

LL

brneyedgrly
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since 06-08-2009
Posts 721
nowhere and everywhere

23 posted 07-19-2009 10:25 AM

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first of all, everyone's poems are wonderful!

mr balladeer...

seems i am always at the back of the class

but i did not intentionally do this assignment. i wanted you to know that what you said about listening to how the poem presents itself is true. i recognized the rhythm of my first line and then gently tried to apply it to what i wanted to say and i am pleased with the outcome...

just need approval of the meter...

thanks,
shellie

________________________________

i looked to see if you were there
and if your heart belonged to mine
i left to see if you would care
or pull me back to love align

you called for me, but not to stay
then plucked my heart and stole away
these words don't flow but seem to seep
like lonely tears my eyes now weep

don't wait for the storms to end~
learn how to dance in the rain...

Oklahoma Rose
Senior Member
since 02-28-2008
Posts 1190
Oklahoma USA

24 posted 07-19-2009 02:44 PM

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Well Shellie, I am certainly not the Master of meter here. But, it sure looks good to me. But, I am known to be wrong. I think the Master of meter will like this, though.

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