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Balladeer
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0 posted 2009-07-14 11:30 AM


Ok, one more time to get your meter running....
A Rispetto, an Italian form of poetry, is a complete poem of two rhyme quatrains with strict meter.  
The meter is usually iambic tetrameter with a rhyme scheme of abab ccdd.  A Heroic Rispetto is
written in Iambic pentameter, usually featuring the same rhyme scheme.

Anita's Realm

Anita, lovely poetess,
sees nature's beauty all around,
feels wind of summer's soft caress,
and hears the magic in its sound.

She sits to write in quiet hours
when from her realm of thought sweet flowers
spring forth!  She plucks and sets them free
as lyric words of poetry.

Copyright © 2006 Andrea Dietrich

© Copyright 2009 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved
Dr.Moose1
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1 posted 2009-07-15 12:05 PM


         Heeeeeeeer's Balladeer!

Straight forward and most righteous dude
no tricks and nothing up my sleeve,
in truth one can't help but conclude
it's Dr.Moose I do believe !

Applying for a new job here
as side kick to Sir Balladeer.
Like Ed Mcmahon to Johnny C.
but, better yet I'll work for *free

Heeeeere's Balladeer! It's got a ring
he'd make the perfect late nite host
and I could do the straight man thing
we'd make it huge from coast to coast!

The sky's the limit, yessiree
the masses crave such poetry.
The perfect money making scheme!
(too bad it's an unlikely dream)

Yet here at Pip we're good to go
at least we are from where I stand
I'm just not sure about "Deer" though
or what agenda he has planned,

perhaps based in reality
which more than likely excludes me.
I'd visit there more often but
they tend to think I'm just a nut!

They say that all good things must end
I s'pose that goes for this thing too
regardless what you think m'friend
I bet this didn't occur to you.

A sidekick who's a moose that's nuts
kicks serious poetic butt!

*subject to renegotiation


nakdthoughts
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Between the Lines
2 posted 2009-07-15 08:28 PM


always a joy to read, Dr.Moose~~

M

nakdthoughts
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Between the Lines
3 posted 2009-07-16 07:42 AM


Michael, the example's second verse  isn't holding to a strict meter...unless I am pronouncing the words incorrectly~~

I'm going to try one myself


M

Dr.Moose1
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4 posted 2009-07-16 07:57 AM


nakd,
Thanks, I was afraid it might be just a little over the top, lol.
Doc

Balladeer
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5 posted 2009-07-16 08:01 AM


The Balladeer and Dr. Moose
The stars of our late nite tv?
You must be swirlin' happy juice
Or flying high, it seems to me.

Although it would be quite a blast
I fear our glory days are passed.
It would have been, to tell the truth,
A piece of cake when we had youth.

A Sancho Panza you would make
To match my Don Quixote stride.
No windmill would be hard to take
With such a partner at my side.

Or Tonto? You're a natural
To ride with your Lone Ranger pal
And we could give Mayberry life
To have you as my Barney Fife.

Groucho? Harpo? That's our venue
Though we would be one stooge short.
I'll get Toe to fill the menu.
He'll be happy to report.

Batman and Robin would be two
That it would be a snap to do
Fighting murder, crime and rape
(How do you look in a cape?)

Bullwinkle to my Rocky squirrel
Starsky to your good pal Hutch
I would always get the girl
While you could drive the car and such.

But, I must say, on second thought,
These roles of "seconds" fit you not.
The starring roles would suit you, too
And I could be the lead for you.

Let's both be, then, like Brett and Bart,
And ride the prairies side by side,
Two mavericks with common heart
Who uses laughter as their guide.

Yes,Dr. Moose and Balladeer
Are two of Passion's cavaliers
Where "one for all and all for one"
Means, "Hey, you guys. Let's have some fun!"  

Balladeer
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6 posted 2009-07-16 08:06 AM


Maureen, I see no problem with that second verse in the example, as long as one treats "flowers" as a one-syllable word, which is acceptable. If you see anything else, let me know.
nakdthoughts
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Between the Lines
7 posted 2009-07-16 08:35 AM


Sierra Smiles (A Rispetto)

Sierra sweet, unblemished heart
takes hold of thoughts from Grandpa Dave
remembering, of his depart
as we go through his things to save.

The photos of, from walls we took
with tearing eyes in after-look.
A day we spent in memories.
Sierra smiles, this time to seize.

A baby in the lap of old
now fourteen years, she's not denied
the knowing of a love, she's told
from pictured words that books provide.

Bagged and tied, we rid of stuff.
Too much he saved, we laughed enough
when clearing out each pocket's find:
a mint, a clip, toothpick, combined.

The same we found in hand bags, still,
belonging to my sister, gone.
Five years of kept, this day until
we placed the rid of, on the lawn.

Sierra smiles this day with me
enjoying what we once could see
and feel from Dave and Marcia, each:
love left behind, within our reach.  

M

~~well I spent yesterday with a great niece and nephew emptying out some of the rooms of my sister and brother-in-law's home since they are both "gone" now~~ and Michael,  we did have some fun moments so it's not all sad  
M


nakdthoughts
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Between the Lines
8 posted 2009-07-16 08:36 AM


Michael I guess I was counting hours and flowers as 2 syllables each...


M

Balladeer
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9 posted 2009-07-16 08:51 AM


Wow, Maureen...that  is great! It's such a somber and melancholy topic and you made me feel every bit of it...beautiful work!

ahem, having said that, (and being the ogre I am) I have to question one line..

The photos of, from walls we took

Photos of? Of what? I don't see where you followed up on that or why it was even necessary, when "photographs, from walls we took" would have done very nicely. Perhaps I'm overlooking something?

nakdthoughts
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since 2000-10-29
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Between the Lines
10 posted 2009-07-16 09:04 AM


I was thinking the photos of all the things in our memories,..you have to understand I have lived in this Pennsylvania Dutch area for almost 35 years now..I seem to  switch words around like they do sometimes.

and I had photographs first, then changed it..

I think those  who know me and  even sometimes read me will understand what I meant. It's a "quirk" I have.


M

Balladeer
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11 posted 2009-07-16 09:22 AM


Quirk noted...we all have them
Dr.Moose1
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12 posted 2009-07-16 12:43 PM


So, Pip it is oh wordy one
where we will raise both roof and bar
and do it in the name of fun
it's not like we'd like being stars

or sidekicks for that matter too
I told the networks that we're through
six figure contracts ain't all that
we're stayin' at Pip, that's where it's at

Oklahoma Rose
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13 posted 2009-07-16 08:39 PM


Well now, this looks easy enough. Surely I can get the iambic tetrameter. You think? I get so frustrated.


Earth Angel
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14 posted 2009-07-17 10:59 PM


Well, 'tis a bit intimitating having read the rispettos before my offering! I was totally entertained by those by the two Horned Ones and moved by the sombre beauty of the Naked One.

The Crone

As scudding clouds crossed waning moon
Long shadows drank up lambent light
With piercing scream, I reeled in swoon.
~ And wrapped wool cloak around me tight.

My eyes were wide in primal fear,
As darkness crept o’er crypt and bier.
Before me loomed a bent, old crone.
~ Which chilled me through from skin to bone.

Dead leaves were rustling, swirling ‘round.
Tree branches creaked in blust’ry gale.
Night creatures stalked the barren ground,
In search of victims weak and frail.

I could not move nor could I speak.
My throat was dry. ~ My knees were weak.
As clouds dispersed and Luna cleared,
~ The horrid crone just disappeared!

LLD


Oklahoma Rose
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15 posted 2009-07-18 12:32 PM


Ok, Sir Balladeer! Here is a little something for this assignment. It may not be the best, but it's a start. I'll try to write a better one teacher, Sir.

Iambic Meter

I read and write and try so hard
To get this iambic meter wrote
I can not seem to get too far
Although I take a lot of notes

I say the words out loud to hear
And keep my dictionary near
Just hoping I will get it right
Then maybe I can sleep at night

OklahomaRose

Balladeer
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16 posted 2009-07-18 09:22 AM


Angel, your mind must be a wonderful place to visit! In other words...I LIKE it! Great form and a 9 on the weird scale....something only from the pen (or keyboard) of our own Earth Angel!
Balladeer
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17 posted 2009-07-18 09:30 AM


Rose, you are getting closer. Change "even" to "although" in the last line of the first stanza and it's perfect iambic. The second stanza is perfect as it it...no problems.

Your second line....well, we have problems there. First of all, it's not iambic and has too many syllables. Second, except on reruns of the Beverly Hillbillies, nothing gets "wrote", it gets written. Work on the second line, change even to although, and you have a good finished product.

You're almost there!


Earth Angel
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18 posted 2009-07-18 11:13 AM


Balladeer, my mind may be a "wonderful place to visit" ~ but I sure wouldn't want to live there! It's even too much for me at times! lol

Thanks for the AOK, Teach!

LL

rachaelfuchsberger
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19 posted 2009-07-18 01:40 PM


Ok...so after my complete failure at the last one, let's soldier on...here's my go at this one:

Perhaps my friend Oliver Twist
Needs help to let his voice project
If he wants them to hear his list
Whenever he asks with respect

Sir Balladeer will you help me
My meter is missing the beat
My rhyming needs nothing else more
But meter seems to be a chore

Arana Darkwolf

Oklahoma Rose
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20 posted 2009-07-18 03:09 PM


Sir Balladeer, I started to put "Although", but thought it would be wrong.

I'll see if I can write another one. A better one!

P.S. As for the word "Wrote", I figured that. But, I couldn't think of anything else at the time. And, since I took another look at "Iambic", after you pointing it out to me, I see where it doesn't fit the syllable count. That sentance is going to be a hard one to fix. But, I'll try.

[This message has been edited by Oklahoma Rose (07-18-2009 04:14 PM).]

Oklahoma Rose
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21 posted 2009-07-18 04:47 PM


Ok Balladeer, how about this?


Iambic Meter

I read and write and try so hard
And, try to make those words just float
I can not seem to get too far
Although I take a lot of notes

I say the words out loud to hear
And keep my dictionary near
Just hoping I will get it right
Then maybe I can sleep at night

Oklahoma Rose

Earth Angel
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22 posted 2009-07-18 05:02 PM


Oklahoma's finest Rose! I'll jump the gun like you did when you praised a poem of mine before it was critiqued by the Master, but I think you did a fine job with this Rosetta! Ooops, that's a Stone! I guess your name somehow slipped in and slipped me up! lol

I meant to say Rispetto! Your tenacity and perseverance paid off!

LL

brneyedgrly
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nowhere and everywhere
23 posted 2009-07-19 10:25 AM



first of all, everyone's poems are wonderful!

mr balladeer...

seems i am always at the back of the class
but i did not intentionally do this assignment.  i wanted you to know that what you said about listening to how the poem presents itself is true.  i recognized the rhythm of my first line and then gently tried to apply it to what i wanted to say and i am pleased with the outcome...

just need approval of the meter...

thanks,
shellie

________________________________

i looked to see if you were there
and if your heart belonged to mine
i left to see if you would care
or pull me back to love align

you called for me, but not to stay
then plucked my heart and stole away
these words don't flow but seem to seep
like lonely tears my eyes now weep



don't wait for the storms to end~
learn how to dance in the rain...

Oklahoma Rose
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24 posted 2009-07-19 02:44 PM


Well Shellie, I am certainly not the Master of meter here. But, it sure looks good to me. But, I am known to be wrong. I think the Master of meter will like this, though.
brneyedgrly
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nowhere and everywhere
25 posted 2009-07-19 03:08 PM



~thanks my sweet rose  

where is that master of meter anyway?  

this is a 24/7 workshop here...no sundays off!

  

Balladeer
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26 posted 2009-07-19 06:56 PM


Sunday is golf day, lady, and don't ever forget it!!!

btw, the meter in your pice is perfect...not one syllable out of place.

Oklahoma Rose
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27 posted 2009-07-19 08:26 PM


Hey Shellie, I told you it was good, didn't I? You go girl!

We will never forget his golf day, again. Will we?

brneyedgrly
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nowhere and everywhere
28 posted 2009-07-19 08:41 PM



no, susie...no we won't...

not unless we want 'F's on our assignments

you're excused teacher...sundays only!!




Alison
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29 posted 2009-07-20 12:55 PM


Summer Suffocation


The air is still; it’s muggy hot
The clouds look bruised as they hang low
Then thunder volleys breaking shots
As windows frame a lightning show

The sky now casts an eerie glow
While clouds are thick and there's no rain
There’s only stifling heat that grows
And batters at the window panes

-

Alison

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30 posted 2009-07-20 11:14 AM


Places this on the top of the paperwork pile so our teacher will see that I did it - and, hopefully, it passes.


Balladeer
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31 posted 2009-07-20 11:34 AM


You did it and you did it well, my absent Alaskan!

Beautiful....

rachaelfuchsberger
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32 posted 2009-07-20 01:59 PM


~fidgets with jewlery, wondering if maybe her submission was overlooked~

Arana Darkwolf

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33 posted 2009-07-20 05:01 PM


Thank you, oh magnificent teacher.



Rachael,

I think sometimes the pile of papers gets too high for even our esteemed Balladeer to keep track of.  You might want to repost it on the thread here for his convenience.  

Email me if you ever want to just talk about struggles in meter and such.  God knows, I cried a river on this board.

My IM is snowy_nightowl@hotmail.com if you want on it.

Take care and keep working on the poetry.

A

rachaelfuchsberger
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34 posted 2009-07-20 05:35 PM


Thanks, Z. I'll add you on Windows messenger.

Please, Sir. Can I Have Some More?

Perhaps my friend Oliver Twist
Needs help to let his voice project
If he wants them to hear his list
Whenever he asks with respect

Sir Balladeer will you help me
My meter is missing the beat
My rhyming needs nothing else more
But meter seems to be a chore


Arana Darkwolf

Balladeer
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35 posted 2009-07-21 08:57 AM


Hey, Arana! I'm sorry! Yes, I missed it completely....I'll try not to let it happen again!

I'm off to work but I'll be back later. There are three places in your poem where the meter is off.....find them

rachaelfuchsberger
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36 posted 2009-07-21 03:00 PM


I think I found them...

"Perhaps my friend Oliver Twist"
"Whenever he asks with respect"
"My meter is missing the beat"

Arana Darkwolf

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37 posted 2009-07-21 06:45 PM


Two out of three ain't bad, Rachel! "Whenever he asks with respect" is fine...."My rhyming needs nothing else more" is not.
rachaelfuchsberger
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38 posted 2009-07-21 06:59 PM


WhenEVer he

Is that where that one fell apart?

Arana Darkwolf

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39 posted 2009-07-22 05:17 AM


You misunderstood, Rachel. That line is acceptable. My rhyming needs nothing else more" is not.
rachaelfuchsberger
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40 posted 2009-07-22 01:42 PM


ohh! oops! My rhymING

Arana Darkwolf

Oklahoma Rose
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41 posted 2009-07-22 05:41 PM


Balladeer my friend, I changed he word and that one line. Did I get it right this time, or not?
Balladeer
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42 posted 2009-07-22 08:17 PM


Absolutely, Rose....it flows like honey and is just as sweet
Oklahoma Rose
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43 posted 2009-07-23 08:56 PM


Awwww, thank you, Balladeer. I will try to get the next one right on the first try.
Earth Angel
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44 posted 2009-08-11 05:19 PM


I enjoyed writing my first Rispetto so much that I decided to write another one. I hope I did the 'da DUM's correctly.

The Clown

It’s sad to see a laughing clown,
~ Who's smiling with unhappy eyes.
There is a face that wears a frown,
~ Behind the paint and clown disguise.

He wears his heart upon his sleeve.
And lives in world of make-believe.
His smiling face belies his woe.
~ But life goes on and so must show.

LLD




[This message has been edited by Earth Angel (08-12-2009 02:03 PM).]

crosscountry83
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45 posted 2009-08-12 12:38 PM


So many responses I hope mine doesn't get overlooked in the massive stack of papers!

Seems not I am the only one,
who struggles much throughout the day,
my war with meter's never done,
so learn I must before I play.

I try again, but it's not fun.
My learning quest is never done.
Oh, why can't I just get it right?
Then I could rest and say "good night."



Rileigh

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46 posted 2009-08-12 12:49 PM


Linda,

That's so beautiful and you are so talented.  

xooxxo
A

Rileigh,

I love how you spell your name.  Don't get too discouraged or give up.  I am living testament to the fact that this can be learned.  I was just like you, fighting to learn, frustrated to no end, and just trying to improve.  You can win this meter battle.  Yep, you can and will.

Hugs to you



Alison

crosscountry83
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47 posted 2009-08-12 12:59 PM


thanks, Yep, I'll just have to keep trying.  I just have to see if Balladeer can help me fix it.

Rileigh

crosscountry83
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48 posted 2009-08-12 12:55 PM


  It appears I made a mistake with the rhyme scheme.  Here's my revision:


Seems I am not the only one,
who struggles much throughout the day,
my war with meter's never done,
so learn I must before I play.

I try again, but it is tough.
My learning quest is always rough.
Oh, why can't I just get it right?
Then I could rest and say "good night."

*sigh*

Rileigh

Balladeer
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49 posted 2009-08-12 01:32 PM


Nothing wrong with that one, sir! The meter and flow are perfect. I would change the first line to "Seems I am not the only one" but,otherwise, it's fine...everything right on the money!
crosscountry83
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50 posted 2009-08-12 01:52 PM


Thank you, thank you, thank you! I think I'm getting it faster than I thought I would...  But no no no!!!  sir? sir? I am a girl..................................................

Rileigh is a girls name too, at least I think so.

People call me sir a lot though, for a different reason: (explained here)
/pip/Forum110/HTML/001355.html

Rileigh

Earth Angel
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51 posted 2009-08-12 02:05 PM


Rileigh ~

Thank you for pointing that out to me. I think I have remedied the situation!
btw, I loved yours too!


Linda

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52 posted 2009-08-12 02:14 PM


Aha!  That'll teach me not to jump to conclusions. I must have been thinking of Sir Walter Rileigh! Won't happen again, miss
crosscountry83
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53 posted 2009-08-12 02:59 PM


Thanks to both

Rileigh

Earth Angel
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54 posted 2009-08-13 09:24 PM


Well, I'm back with my third Rispetto. First there was "The Crone", then "The Clown", and now

Broken Wings

When skies are gray and I am blue,
I long for peace and inner calm.
When shadows cast a dark imbue,
A nature walk soothes me like balm.

When dreams are dashed and luck runs low,
I won’t give up ~ for this I know,          
That better times lie ‘round the bend,
And broken wings will surely mend.

LLD

crosscountry83
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55 posted 2009-08-13 10:17 PM


If my opinion counts, I loved it!  Brought hope to me in my desperate times...

Rileigh

Earth Angel
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56 posted 2009-08-17 10:12 PM


Thank you Rileigh. I now await the opinion of the Meter Meister.
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