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Passions in Poetry

A Little Rispetto, if you please

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brneyedgrly
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since 06-08-2009
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nowhere and everywhere


25 posted 07-19-2009 03:08 PM       View Profile for brneyedgrly   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for brneyedgrly


~thanks my sweet rose  

where is that master of meter anyway?  

this is a 24/7 workshop here...no sundays off!

  
Balladeer
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26 posted 07-19-2009 06:56 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Sunday is golf day, lady, and don't ever forget it!!!

btw, the meter in your pice is perfect...not one syllable out of place.
Oklahoma Rose
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since 02-28-2008
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Oklahoma USA


27 posted 07-19-2009 08:26 PM       View Profile for Oklahoma Rose   Email Oklahoma Rose   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Oklahoma Rose

Hey Shellie, I told you it was good, didn't I? You go girl!

We will never forget his golf day, again. Will we?
brneyedgrly
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nowhere and everywhere


28 posted 07-19-2009 08:41 PM       View Profile for brneyedgrly   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for brneyedgrly


no, susie...no we won't...

not unless we want 'F's on our assignments

you're excused teacher...sundays only!!



Alison
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Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!


29 posted 07-20-2009 12:55 AM       View Profile for Alison   Email Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

Summer Suffocation


The air is still; itís muggy hot
The clouds look bruised as they hang low
Then thunder volleys breaking shots
As windows frame a lightning show

The sky now casts an eerie glow
While clouds are thick and there's no rain
Thereís only stifling heat that grows
And batters at the window panes

-

Alison
Alison
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30 posted 07-20-2009 11:14 AM       View Profile for Alison   Email Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

Places this on the top of the paperwork pile so our teacher will see that I did it - and, hopefully, it passes.

Balladeer
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31 posted 07-20-2009 11:34 AM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

You did it and you did it well, my absent Alaskan!

Beautiful....
rachaelfuchsberger
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32 posted 07-20-2009 01:59 PM       View Profile for rachaelfuchsberger   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for rachaelfuchsberger

~fidgets with jewlery, wondering if maybe her submission was overlooked~

Arana Darkwolf

Alison
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Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!


33 posted 07-20-2009 05:01 PM       View Profile for Alison   Email Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

Thank you, oh magnificent teacher.



Rachael,

I think sometimes the pile of papers gets too high for even our esteemed Balladeer to keep track of.  You might want to repost it on the thread here for his convenience.  

Email me if you ever want to just talk about struggles in meter and such.  God knows, I cried a river on this board.

My IM is snowy_nightowl@hotmail.com if you want on it.

Take care and keep working on the poetry.

A
rachaelfuchsberger
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34 posted 07-20-2009 05:35 PM       View Profile for rachaelfuchsberger   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for rachaelfuchsberger

Thanks, Z. I'll add you on Windows messenger.

Please, Sir. Can I Have Some More?

Perhaps my friend Oliver Twist
Needs help to let his voice project
If he wants them to hear his list
Whenever he asks with respect

Sir Balladeer will you help me
My meter is missing the beat
My rhyming needs nothing else more
But meter seems to be a chore


Arana Darkwolf
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35 posted 07-21-2009 08:57 AM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Hey, Arana! I'm sorry! Yes, I missed it completely....I'll try not to let it happen again!

I'm off to work but I'll be back later. There are three places in your poem where the meter is off.....find them
rachaelfuchsberger
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36 posted 07-21-2009 03:00 PM       View Profile for rachaelfuchsberger   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for rachaelfuchsberger

I think I found them...

"Perhaps my friend Oliver Twist"
"Whenever he asks with respect"
"My meter is missing the beat"

Arana Darkwolf

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37 posted 07-21-2009 06:45 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Two out of three ain't bad, Rachel! "Whenever he asks with respect" is fine...."My rhyming needs nothing else more" is not.
rachaelfuchsberger
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38 posted 07-21-2009 06:59 PM       View Profile for rachaelfuchsberger   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for rachaelfuchsberger

WhenEVer he

Is that where that one fell apart?

Arana Darkwolf

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39 posted 07-22-2009 05:17 AM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

You misunderstood, Rachel. That line is acceptable. My rhyming needs nothing else more" is not.
rachaelfuchsberger
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40 posted 07-22-2009 01:42 PM       View Profile for rachaelfuchsberger   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for rachaelfuchsberger

ohh! oops! My rhymING

Arana Darkwolf

Oklahoma Rose
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41 posted 07-22-2009 05:41 PM       View Profile for Oklahoma Rose   Email Oklahoma Rose   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Oklahoma Rose

Balladeer my friend, I changed he word and that one line. Did I get it right this time, or not?
Balladeer
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42 posted 07-22-2009 08:17 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Absolutely, Rose....it flows like honey and is just as sweet
Oklahoma Rose
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43 posted 07-23-2009 08:56 PM       View Profile for Oklahoma Rose   Email Oklahoma Rose   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Oklahoma Rose

Awwww, thank you, Balladeer. I will try to get the next one right on the first try.
Earth Angel
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since 08-27-2002
Posts 40647
Realms of Light


44 posted 08-11-2009 05:19 PM       View Profile for Earth Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Earth Angel's Home Page   View IP for Earth Angel

I enjoyed writing my first Rispetto so much that I decided to write another one. I hope I did the 'da DUM's correctly.

The Clown

Itís sad to see a laughing clown,
~ Who's smiling with unhappy eyes.
There is a face that wears a frown,
~ Behind the paint and clown disguise.

He wears his heart upon his sleeve.
And lives in world of make-believe.
His smiling face belies his woe.
~ But life goes on and so must show.

LLD




[This message has been edited by Earth Angel (08-12-2009 02:03 PM).]

crosscountry83
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since 07-30-2009
Posts 335


45 posted 08-12-2009 12:38 AM       View Profile for crosscountry83   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for crosscountry83

So many responses I hope mine doesn't get overlooked in the massive stack of papers!

Seems not I am the only one,
who struggles much throughout the day,
my war with meter's never done,
so learn I must before I play.

I try again, but it's not fun.
My learning quest is never done.
Oh, why can't I just get it right?
Then I could rest and say "good night."



Rileigh
Alison
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Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!


46 posted 08-12-2009 12:49 AM       View Profile for Alison   Email Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

Linda,

That's so beautiful and you are so talented.  

xooxxo
A

Rileigh,

I love how you spell your name.  Don't get too discouraged or give up.  I am living testament to the fact that this can be learned.  I was just like you, fighting to learn, frustrated to no end, and just trying to improve.  You can win this meter battle.  Yep, you can and will.

Hugs to you



Alison
crosscountry83
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since 07-30-2009
Posts 335


47 posted 08-12-2009 12:59 AM       View Profile for crosscountry83   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for crosscountry83

thanks, Yep, I'll just have to keep trying.  I just have to see if Balladeer can help me fix it.

Rileigh
crosscountry83
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since 07-30-2009
Posts 335


48 posted 08-12-2009 12:55 PM       View Profile for crosscountry83   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for crosscountry83

  It appears I made a mistake with the rhyme scheme.  Here's my revision:


Seems I am not the only one,
who struggles much throughout the day,
my war with meter's never done,
so learn I must before I play.

I try again, but it is tough.
My learning quest is always rough.
Oh, why can't I just get it right?
Then I could rest and say "good night."

*sigh*

Rileigh
Balladeer
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49 posted 08-12-2009 01:32 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Nothing wrong with that one, sir! The meter and flow are perfect. I would change the first line to "Seems I am not the only one" but,otherwise, it's fine...everything right on the money!
 
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