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Try a Trilonnet!

Balladeer
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0 posted 07-01-2009 04:32 PM

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Trilonnet

Trilonnet, created by Shelley A. Cephas, is a 14-line poem made up of four three-line verses
of 8 syllables (iambic tetrameter) and one rhyming couplet or four three-lined verses of 10
syllables (iambic pentameter) and one rhyming couplet.

Each 3 line verse is an unrhymed triplet. Each triplet has a rhyme scheme of abc. It is related
to a sonnet in that it made up of 14 lines. There are 2 rhyme schemes for this form:

abc abc abc abc dd
or
abc cba abc cba dd

This form is written in either iambic tetrameter or iambic pentameter.

Example #1:

Summer Daze

A summer chill not often felt
when sunshine is so strong and bright
in season of delight and fun.

Oppressive heat, it has been dealt
as tempers flare, burn and ignite;
dog days of summer are not done.

Each year to wonder how we’ve dwelt
with heat while waiting for the night
to end the sweltering hot sun.

So hopefully we will not melt
before fall comes and ends our plight,
a respite from the heat is won.

The summer months have slowly passed,
humidity is gone at last.

Copyright © 2007 Shelley A. Cephas

Example #2:

Fairy Light

New fairies flit in skies above
to shower joy on those below
that live in their enchanted lair.

They show their grace and kindly care,
protect wee people from each foe,
their fairy dust will get rid of.

This is one way they show their love,
these tiny fairies all aglow
with joy and happiness to share.

So fairies are beyond compare,
their peace they lovingly will show
in gentleness like a pure dove.

Forever they will live their lives
to make sure their lair always thrives.

Copyright © 2007 Shelley A. Cephas

Sounds easy enough to me. I'm getting soft in my old age, passing out such easy assignments.

Show me.......

rachaelfuchsberger
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since 02-21-2007
Posts 294
Las Vegas, NV, USA

1 posted 07-01-2009 04:41 PM

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I think I just had an epiphany for how to fix my problem with meter. If I'm counting syllables, and counting lines (i.e. three line stanzas with eight syllables each being iambic pentameter) then I have my meter...right?

Arana Darkwolf

Balladeer
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2 posted 07-01-2009 05:02 PM

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Congrats on your epiphany, Rachel!! You got it...now do it!

Oklahoma Rose
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since 02-28-2008
Posts 1309
Oklahoma USA

3 posted 07-01-2009 06:03 PM

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Now, this has me worried. You never seem to give up on me. It is your faith in me, that keeps me trying. But, I do get very frustrated. Oh my, do I get frustrated. As you know, meter is something I have been trying to get down pat for a very long time. Sometimes, I tell myself, "what's the use" I'm never going to get it. But, Balladeer, my friend, you know me! I'M NOT A QUITTER! Even though, I feel very stupid at times. Nothing would make me happier, than to be able to get the meter down perfectly, and never forget it.

Thank you, Balladeer, my friend for all you encouragement. And, for not giving up on me.
You know how much I admire you.

P.S. There must be a way for someone like me (slow to get it) to learn the meter.

rachaelfuchsberger
Member
since 02-21-2007
Posts 294
Las Vegas, NV, USA

4 posted 07-01-2009 06:30 PM

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My Triumph Over Meter

I had a big epiphany
And I think I can conquer it
That mysterious meter thing

My mind is a cacophony
For inside the light bulb has lit
And to the forefront I can bring

Teeming with words of symphony
The work through which my teeth have grit
So I can have words and rhymes sing

Maybe works like “Mony Mony”
Will come out when my words are writ
And my hands will no longer wring

Now here before me is something that I ought
In younger days to have already caught

Arana Darkwolf

rachaelfuchsberger
Member
since 02-21-2007
Posts 294
Las Vegas, NV, USA

5 posted 07-01-2009 08:47 PM

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I think my stresses are on odd words and syllables, but it's still a triumph for me because I found the secret to meter.

rachaelfuchsberger
Member
since 02-21-2007
Posts 294
Las Vegas, NV, USA

6 posted 07-01-2009 08:52 PM

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Do You Know How To Spell My Name?

Do you know how to spell my name?
There is an r there is an a
There is a c and there’s an h

Will you play my little name game?
There is just one more little a
Then there is an e yet to etch

Are you thinking it’s a bit lame?
There is not another small a
Just a little l now to fetch

Now you know how to spell my name.
There’s r a c h and an a
Then an e and an l to wretch

Rachael is my name so for sure you know
Together now we’ll continue to grow

Arana Darkwolf

Oklahoma Rose
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since 02-28-2008
Posts 1309
Oklahoma USA

7 posted 07-01-2009 09:47 PM

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What is the secret to meter,
rachaelfuchsberger? Or, are you going to keep that to yourself? LOL!

rachaelfuchsberger
Member
since 02-21-2007
Posts 294
Las Vegas, NV, USA

8 posted 07-01-2009 10:46 PM

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LOL...the secret is to count syllables and lines.

Arana Darkwolf

Oklahoma Rose
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since 02-28-2008
Posts 1309
Oklahoma USA

9 posted 07-01-2009 11:35 PM

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Rachaelfuchsberger, the counting of syllables and lines are fine. But to have a good meter, you have to know where the stresses are. Like for Iambic Pentemeter, Iambic Tetrameter and so forth. Try as I might, I just don't get that. Do you?

Balladeer
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since 06-05-99
Posts 21405
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

10 posted 07-02-2009 12:45 AM

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Rose, you are so right!

Rachel, you need to put the accents in the right places. Iambic is an unaccented syllable followed by an accented one.

i HAD a BIG ePIPHaNY....is perfect iambic.
THAT mysTERiOUS METer THING....is not.

Your second poem has very little iambic in it. Work on the accents....da DUM da DUM da DUM.

It takes work but I'm sure you can do it

Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 09-05-99
Posts 2778
Bewilderment , USA

11 posted 07-02-2009 08:33 AM

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Congratulations Balladeer!
You worried that no one would come
and that your efforts were for naught.

You stayed the course now it appears
your words are like a trail of crumbs
attracting those who would be taught.

You had your doubts but now it's clear
or, as they say where I come from
no finer tutor could be sought

from any other hemisphere.
And, better yet there is no sum
applicable, or so I thought,

but naming ones' first born as you?
'fraid "Ballamoose" will never do!

[This message has been edited by Dr.Moose1 (07-03-2009 07:49 AM).]

Alison

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Member Ascendant
since 01-27-2008
Posts 5331
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

12 posted 07-02-2009 10:33 AM

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Doc Moose,

You keep me laughing even while I admire your abilities to write. You make it look easy - kinda like Balladeer does. And you both make it look fun! It is fun.

Thank you for this one to get my day going with a chuckle.

A

Dr.Moose1
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since 09-05-99
Posts 2778
Bewilderment , USA

13 posted 07-02-2009 03:39 PM

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Why, thank you Alison, that alone makes it well worth the effort.
Doc

Balladeer
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since 06-05-99
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14 posted 07-02-2009 06:23 PM

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LOL, Doc! No, I'm afraid Ballamoose just wouldn't do, unless one were from Belarus

As usual, your assignment is witty, well-crafted and mooseified.

If you hadn't stumbled here....

a finer tutor couldn't be bought

it would have been perfect..but then you would have no reason to keep coming to class

Oklahoma Rose
Senior Member
since 02-28-2008
Posts 1309
Oklahoma USA

15 posted 07-02-2009 07:53 PM

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There's that darn meter, again. There's nothing more I would like, than to learn the meters well. But, it seems I have made myself look stupid enough already. Shall I continue making myself look like the class clown? There must be a way for someone like me to get this meter thing. I am soooooooooooo frustrated with myself.

[This message has been edited by Oklahoma Rose (07-02-2009 09:24 PM).]

Balladeer
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Member Seraphic
since 06-05-99
Posts 21405
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16 posted 07-02-2009 09:25 PM

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Rose, you NEVER make yourself look stupid! What you make yourself look like is a good person willing to keep trying, putting your attempts out there for all to see even if you know it is difficult for you. That is something a lot of people just won't do but you are dedicated to keep trying to better yourself and that is something NO ONE will ever call stupid. Just hang in there, miss, and I'll be right with you all the way.

Oklahoma Rose
Senior Member
since 02-28-2008
Posts 1309
Oklahoma USA

17 posted 07-02-2009 09:33 PM

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Thank you, Balladeer, my friend.

Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 09-05-99
Posts 2778
Bewilderment , USA

18 posted 07-02-2009 10:10 PM

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Balladeer,
M'friend I'm afraid once again you have me at a loss. I read that line as being...
"a FINer TUtor COULDN'T be BOUGHT". As such I don't see where it stumbles.
Doc

Balladeer
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Member Seraphic
since 06-05-99
Posts 21405
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

19 posted 07-02-2009 10:51 PM

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Well, Doc, you have two choices and both of them are wrong. You can (and do say) that it's read this way..
"a FINer TUtor COULDN'T be BOUGHT".

in doint so I'm afraid you would have a hard sell claiming that "couldn't" has two accented syllables, instead of COULDn't. Even if you could sell me on that, then you would have two accented syllables together, which is not iambic.

If it is actually COULDn't then you would have two unaccented syllables together"..n't be", which is also not iambic.

I hope you're not advocating that "couldn't" is a one-syllable word. If you are, you are causing me to think of a body part not allowed to be spoken of here

Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 09-05-99
Posts 2778
Bewilderment , USA

20 posted 07-03-2009 07:16 AM

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Balladeer,
The second wrong choice I'm afraid was my downfall. I was indeed pronouncing the contraction as one syllable as in my somewhat illogically logical mind I failed to see the purpose of a contraction for a two syllable phrase "could not" which still contained two syllables "could.n't". Ah, English, what a language. Lol. Thanks for the correction. I've substituted " could be sought ".
Doc

[This message has been edited by Dr.Moose1 (07-03-2009 07:49 AM).]

Balladeer
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Member Seraphic
since 06-05-99
Posts 21405
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

21 posted 07-03-2009 08:19 AM

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...which makes it perfect. Your gold star is in the mail, sir

Alison

Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 01-27-2008
Posts 5331
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

22 posted 07-03-2009 12:15 PM

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Yay for the Moose!

Alison

Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 01-27-2008
Posts 5331
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

23 posted 07-03-2009 12:16 PM

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Darn you're (one syllable) good, Mr. Balladeer Guy!

A

.
.
.

Okay, okay I'll work on my lesson today!

Bridget Shenachie
Senior Member
since 01-23-2002
Posts 1032
Kansas USA

24 posted 07-03-2009 02:37 PM

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Hi Balladeer! I'm so glad that you are continuing the classes. Since you have presented an assignment that you have labelled easy, I thought that I would give it a shot if it is not too late...

Here goes...

Since I have been away so long,
I thought that I would try to write
A trilonnet for Balladeer.

It's been a while so hold the gong,
As I attempt to reunite
In Michael's class, I persevere.

The more I try, I get it wrong,
So tell me how to get it right.
Sprung meter is my biggest fear.

I need to learn to finish strong,
So I will try with all my might
To make the pesky meter clear.

So 'Deer, this poem, I submit
please do advise if I should quit.

Shenachie

All times are ET (US)


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