Time for an Etheree(al) Challenge!

Balladeer
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0 posted 06-16-2009 08:43 PM

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The poetry form, Etheree, consists of 10 lines of 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 syllables. Etheree can
also be reversed and written 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

So let me have an Etheree, folks. You can make it normal or reversed - up to you. You can make it free verse or, for those who want the extra challenge, rhyme the 2nd, 4th, 6th, 8th and 10th lines as in the example listed below.

For those who want a REAL challenge (moose), make it a double Etheree, going from 1 to 10 syllables and then 10 to one. The rhyme can change, beginning with the 12th line for the second half of the poem.

Start your engines!

Anonymous Solitude

She’s
inclined
to want more
to ease her mind
than do you or I.
She disappears to find
anonymous solitude.
We look for it, but we are blind.
Left behind, we become mere figments
of her illusions; . . . . we call her unkind.

Copyright © 2003 Andrea Dietrich

Oklahoma Rose
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since 02-28-2008
Posts 1232
Oklahoma USA

2 posted 06-16-2009 09:37 PM

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Oh my, Balladeer, Sir. I didn't even get the other one done, yet. I seem to be brain dead. This one llooks easy enough. Maybe I can do this one.

Alison

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since 01-27-2008
Posts 5056
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

3 posted 06-17-2009 01:48 AM

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Once
his arms
held her close.
Bodies kept warm;
dancing private songs,
lost within sexual charms.
Captivated by his grace,
her heart hammered out love’s alarm.
Senses blind to faults he kept at bay,
giving herself with no regard to harm.

While he shaped her like clay within his hands
until her confidence caved away.
She once lit up like Chinese lamps,
laughter spilling; her face gay.
Happy times now long gone,
cruelly pushed away.
Lonely woman
left today …

it’s his
way.

.

Alison

Alison

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since 01-27-2008
Posts 5056
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

4 posted 06-17-2009 02:38 AM

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Now you got me playing!

----

silt
softly
soothing sands
slowly, sliding
stirring satin silk
silvery sensations
seems sexually searing
secretive somnolence sharing
sensuous seduction, sands slipping
spontaneity shatters solitude

-

Alison

Oklahoma Rose
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since 02-28-2008
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5 posted 06-17-2009 04:24 AM

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I had no doubt, Alison, my friend, that you would do very well on this assignment. You are quite the pro.

Oklahoma Rose
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since 02-28-2008
Posts 1232
Oklahoma USA

6 posted 06-17-2009 04:49 AM

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Ok Sir Balladeer! I know it's not the best,and there is no rhyme. But, I gave it a try.

She
Reaches
To the stars
Way up above
For the brightest one
In hopes of great success
Pushing aside such defeat
Hoping to gain all her desires
Only to reach the greatest of success
Just so she will able to make him smile

Now for a rhyming one.

Oklahoma Rose
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since 02-28-2008
Posts 1232
Oklahoma USA

7 posted 06-17-2009 05:18 AM

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My muse must be on the go, now. Here is a rhyming one for you, Sir Balladeer.

Friends
Are there
To always
Give us such care
When we are in need
To wipe away our tears
When life just seems so unkind
They help us get through our despair
Through the good times and the bad ones too
They are always there to show us they care

P.S. I'll see what I can do with the Double one.

Balladeer
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8 posted 06-17-2009 07:33 AM

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Good God in Heaven, Alison! Here I thought I was presenting a challenge and you make it look like child's play! The first one is excellent, not only structurally correct but an excellent poem, to boot. Your second one...well, it would appear you stole Moose's thunder. That's something I would have expected from HIM....and that's a compliment!

Guess I'm going to have to come up with stronger challenges. Nicely done, star pupil!

Balladeer
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9 posted 06-17-2009 07:39 AM

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Rose, you are so surprising. You really did an excellent job there. One should always go with one's strength and it appears your strength is in the free verse style. Your first poem is excellent, reads very nicely, and flows off the tongue well. Your rhyming one is also good but you have to avoid the trap of creating awkward lines for the sake of creating a rhyme. You have grown by leaps and bounds through your determination and perserverance and I think you are wonderful, as a poet and as a friend.

Alison

Member Ascendant
since 01-27-2008
Posts 5056
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

10 posted 06-17-2009 10:43 AM

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Hey Balladeer,

This was fun to play with last night. Sometimes, I just get caught up in the words and how they fit - it's like a puzzle.

Thank you for taking the time to put the challenges out and continuing to teach.

Hugs and smooches,
Alison

-

Hey Sue,

You did great. I love your poems - and, even more, I love you being in here with us.

xoxoox
Alison

Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 09-05-99
Posts 2770
Bewilderment , USA

11 posted 06-17-2009 11:31 AM

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Wow!
I leave here for a minute and Alison is alliterating all over and Rose is blooming poetically! Maybe I oughta skip out more often. Excellent writing ladies.
Doc

Dr.Moose1
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since 09-05-99
Posts 2770
Bewilderment , USA

12 posted 06-17-2009 11:45 AM

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Just so Much Hot Air

Each
Time I
Have to find
Exact rhymes I
Reach for the sky and
Pick among passersby
Often finding one I choose
Easily slides in place first try
More often than not this works for me
Seems as though I'm a real poetic guy
Like words just can't wait to do my bidding
It seems almost like a piece of pie
Keeping track of it is just cake
Each piece a "masterpiece" , why
Happens each single time
Once I blink my eyes
Take hold my pen
And let fly
Into
Rhyme!

[This message has been edited by Dr.Moose1 (06-18-2009 03:55 PM).]

Oklahoma Rose
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since 02-28-2008
Posts 1232
Oklahoma USA

13 posted 06-17-2009 08:12 PM

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Thank you, Balladeer, my friend for the nice reply. I'm glad you like them. You sure know how to encourage one to keep trying.

Balladeer
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14 posted 06-17-2009 09:48 PM

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Excellent as always, Moose, but a couple of things I have to question.

Easily slides into place first try

I read that as nine syllables unless you were using "easily" as a two-syllable word which would make it "easly"?

Each piece a "masterpiece" , why
Happens each single time

Not sure I understand the "why" in that line.

If you need help, perhaps Alison is available for tutoring

Dr.Moose1
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since 09-05-99
Posts 2770
Bewilderment , USA

15 posted 06-18-2009 04:05 PM

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Balladeer,
Lol, an excellent suggestion regarding the
tutoring. You are, of course, right on the syllable count which was do to posting in haste. As for the "why", aside from maintaining the rhyme and syllable count,
I used it here as an interjection to show mild surprise.

Yoinn
Senior Member
since 08-16-2007
Posts 631
Michigan

16 posted 06-21-2009 11:49 AM

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Hey this sounds like fun. I think I will have a go

Shredded

Like
Empty
Crushed beer cans
On cracked cement,
My passion has died.
Gone are the emotions
That once sustained my poor life.
Tear stained pavement, a testament
To the cold apathy of the street
and wind blown tendrils of who I once was.

Yoin

lol....be gentle with me

Balladeer
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Member Seraphic
since 06-05-99
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Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

19 posted 06-21-2009 09:46 PM

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No problem there, Yoinn. That is excellent...thanks for joining in.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 10-29-2000
Posts 18063
Between the Lines

21 posted 06-22-2009 06:36 AM

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Echoes Of

If
only
"forever",
whispered to me,
promised withdrawal
from death of emotions,
those memories reflecting
that first passionate kiss stealing
the warmth of words that once wrapped this heart
into an all embracing dance... called love

Then today, tomorrow would awaken
those feelings of yesterday in depth,
allowing the elements of,
to season the now empty
in rainbow colored arcs,
paged to never fade
when soft spoken
confessions
echo
yours.

M

"Love is not blind - It sees more and not less, but because it sees more, it is willing to see less."
(Will Moss)

rachaelfuchsberger
Member
since 02-21-2007
Posts 276
Las Vegas, NV, USA

22 posted 06-29-2009 03:30 PM

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Wow....this was a real challenge for me. I had fun, though!

Hands So Gently Rough

Hands
So rough
But gentle
Their loving touch
With ev’ry sweet sigh
It is never enough
I can’t tell you how or why
Your touch that’s so soft and so gruff
Sings sweetly to the deep depths of me
And I love them being so gently rough

Arana Darkwolf

Balladeer
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Member Seraphic
since 06-05-99
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Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

23 posted 06-30-2009 12:07 AM

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Maureen, that is really beautiful. I had little doubt you could make easy work of this and you did it in fine fashion.

Rachel, you did well! Seems you met the challenge and came up with an excellent use of the form. congrats and welcome!

rachaelfuchsberger
Member
since 02-21-2007
Posts 276
Las Vegas, NV, USA

24 posted 06-30-2009 01:24 PM

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Thank you, Sir. I had a lot of fun, and these challenges are really making me think and getting my creative juices flowing.

Arana Darkwolf

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