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Passions in Poetry

Triplets to another level...

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Balladeer
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0 posted 03-31-2009 09:54 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Ok, so much for the easy introduction to triplets, or tercets. Now let's get to the good stuff...the ever-popular and often hated terza rima!

The terza rima is an undetermined (up to you) series of triplets with a rhyme scheme of 1-2-1, 2-3-2, 3-4-3, etc. In other words, the first and third lines of each stanza must rhyme with the second line of the preceding stanza. The poem ends with a couplet (two lines) which rhyme with the center line of the preceding tercet. I've seen nothing to indicate that the lines must consist of ten syllables, although the most famous ones are, such as Shelley's Ode To The West Wind....and don't forget the meter.

Amaze me.....


moonbeam
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1 posted 04-01-2009 03:00 AM       View Profile for moonbeam   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for moonbeam

Mercy! I'm only half-way through the other exercise  

Meter?  Any meter?
Dr.Moose1
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2 posted 04-01-2009 07:59 AM       View Profile for Dr.Moose1   Email Dr.Moose1   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dr.Moose1

An alchemists' ingredients reveal
Beliefs outside the realm of proven fact
Regardless of the truths they would conceal

All movements of magicians must be tracked
Considering their skill to misdirect
And thus maintain illusion through their act

Display more magic than one would expect
As much as you possess in what you write
Beguile the reader that they'll not suspect

Right out there in the open, in plain sight
A bit of magic's been performed just right
poetman
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3 posted 04-01-2009 10:36 AM       View Profile for poetman   Email poetman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for poetman

Excuse if something doesn't make sense English is my second language

The warrior

The mist is settling
and the warrior appears
In his presence everybody is fiddling

For they are trying to hide their fears
when he went nobody believed he'll be back
but as he came back no one called hi dear

His quest has come to an end, no longer does he lack
the power of self control
Now he has respect and all he lost was a sack
    
Poetman  
Balladeer
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4 posted 04-01-2009 12:40 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

any meter, moonbeam, as long as it's consistent. consistency is everything......

poetman...I know the challenges of trying to write in a second language (especially poetry!) and you have done a very admirable job here.

But.....

Remeber that a terza rima ends with a couplet of two rhyming lines.

Welcome to the workshop
Balladeer
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5 posted 04-01-2009 10:43 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Dr. Moose...

A clown will do his best to make one smile
With greasepaint lips beneath a funny nose
He plays the fool with expertise and style.

The smile behind the greasepaint no one knows.
The mind behind the mindless acts portrayed
Is deft enough to fool both friends and foes.

We laugh at all the silly words displayed
And never sense the flavor of derision
Nor feel the painless insert of the blade.

He earns applause for such a clever mission.
Our world is brighter thanks to our magician.
Dr.Moose1
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6 posted 04-02-2009 07:07 AM       View Profile for Dr.Moose1   Email Dr.Moose1   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dr.Moose1

Balladeer,
Thank you oh master of melodious missives, and a belated happy April fools' to you.
Doc
moonbeam
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7 posted 04-02-2009 07:42 AM       View Profile for moonbeam   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for moonbeam

Wow, I have to admire people who can do this sort of thing so fast.  Good work Dr Moose
Dr.Moose1
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8 posted 04-02-2009 08:09 AM       View Profile for Dr.Moose1   Email Dr.Moose1   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dr.Moose1

Thank you moonbeam, and once again, welcome to the workshop.
Doc
moonbeam
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9 posted 04-02-2009 09:10 AM       View Profile for moonbeam   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for moonbeam

Sorry Dr Moose I didn't say thanks for the welcome before - "thanks for the welcome"
Alison
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10 posted 04-05-2009 11:47 PM       View Profile for Alison   Email Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

Hey 'Deer,

I'll try to get this one in this week.  

A
moonbeam
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11 posted 04-08-2009 06:09 AM       View Profile for moonbeam   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for moonbeam

Oundle

I think of you curled in a coil of the Nene,
your buttery limestone as soft as the mist
which lifts winter mornings from worldly routine

to something ethereal, spire blessed and kissed
by centuries of hands that with mallet and maul
have carved out a heart that will try to resist

the clogging ubiquitous march of the mall
through markets and gardens, allotments and lives
untouched until now by a frost that will spall

the mortar of life until nothing survives
of that which was England and Englishman's ways,
except for this churchyard, the headstones like hives,

a-buzz with the protest from Englishman's graves,
which echoes the stones of the cool empty naves.
Dr.Moose1
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12 posted 04-08-2009 02:00 PM       View Profile for Dr.Moose1   Email Dr.Moose1   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dr.Moose1

moonbeam,
An impressive write, good story and imagery, but I'm a little confused as to the meter. It comes across as almost, but not quite anapestic. Can you enlighten me as to what it is?
Doc
moonbeam
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13 posted 04-08-2009 04:10 PM       View Profile for moonbeam   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for moonbeam

Thanks Doc   .  Principally dactylic with variations of an unstressed syllable at the start of line and a stressed at the end - I think Betjeman did something similar on occasion.  Somebody mentioned 11 syllable lines in the other thread so I thought I'd have a shot at concocting my own.

M
Dr.Moose1
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14 posted 04-08-2009 05:07 PM       View Profile for Dr.Moose1   Email Dr.Moose1   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dr.Moose1

M,
Thanks for clearing that up. I knew the meter was there just from the reading, but couldn't put my finger on it. Interesting variation.
Doc
Balladeer
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15 posted 04-08-2009 05:10 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

moonbeam, your dactylic with the unstressed leading syllable is excellent and exact...with the exception of by centuries of hands (Of course, if I can make my mouth say centuries as a two-syllable word, it works).

As far as the poem itself, I think it's really brilliant. I like to see poems which describe things in a way no one else has thought of. I think you do that here very well...
moonbeam
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16 posted 04-08-2009 05:28 PM       View Profile for moonbeam   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for moonbeam

Yw Doc

You are very kind as usual Mike.  Over here - well at least my specific neck of the woods - "centuries" is always "CENT tris" (with the "i" as in "lick").  I spose you do it "CEN  tur is"?  

Humm I wonder how Grinch pronounces it.
Balladeer
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17 posted 04-08-2009 05:50 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

yep...here it's CEN-tu-rees or can even be CEN-tu-REES. It's interesting how pronounciations differ from country to country, and even area to area. (Still remembering the tiff with Nan over whether FIELD is one syllable or two...she was wrong, of course )
Nan
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18 posted 04-08-2009 10:06 PM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

I was right.  Mike was wrong...
And just because he's being a brat, I'll cheat with a repost!

Symbiosis

True friendship knows its own intrinsic bound,
The pinnacle a covenant unfound.

Perchance cerebral spirits meet,
Fulfilling thoughts and dreams in kind
To render yearning minds replete.

Thence wending on with arms in bind,
Mere touch supplanting idle prate ~
No greater trust than hands entwined.

Enamored passions proffer sate
As ardent raptured hearts unite
In sumptuous repast of fate.

With surety of love in sight,
Two souls shall only then enjoin
In confluence of shared delight.

That perfect niche, a bond without excess
Yields ever symbiotic synthesis.



Balladeer
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19 posted 04-08-2009 10:53 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

hehe....knew I could get you to come out of the darkness...;


How about it, folks? YIELD...one syllable or two?
Dr.Moose1
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20 posted 04-09-2009 07:02 AM       View Profile for Dr.Moose1   Email Dr.Moose1   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dr.Moose1

I'd have to say either/or, depending on the context of the meter that has been established.
Doc
Oklahoma Rose
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21 posted 04-09-2009 07:10 AM       View Profile for Oklahoma Rose   Email Oklahoma Rose   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Oklahoma Rose

  According to a syllable counter online, "Field" is only one syllable. That is the way I counted it before I found that online syllable counter, too.
  
Hey Nan, I sure have been missing you. Where have you been hiding at?
Nan
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22 posted 04-09-2009 11:46 AM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

LOL - Mike, I said it was one syllable, right?

Doc - thanks for stopping by my Morsels blog..

Hi Sue - at the moment, I'm in Michigan, being relentlessly harassed by Ron.  He even beat soundly trounced me at Scrabble..




[This message has been edited by Ron (04-10-2009 07:32 AM).]

Balladeer
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23 posted 04-09-2009 10:32 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

An online syllable counter???? You mean, like the online translators where you type in Have a Nice Day in english and it comes out I Blow my Nose in Public in French???

Moose gave the perfect answer...

Don't let Ron beat you too bad, Nanners!
Oklahoma Rose
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24 posted 04-10-2009 10:42 AM       View Profile for Oklahoma Rose   Email Oklahoma Rose   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Oklahoma Rose

Oh no, Nan! Don't let him beat you. Maybe those words he is coming up with aren't even words. Maybe Ron is making up some NEW words. Ya think? Did you look in the dictionary to make sure it is indeed a word? Ron, don't be cheatin', now.
 
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