How to Join Member's Area Private Library Search Today's Topics p Login
Main Forums Discussion Tech Talk Mature Content Archives
   Nav Win
 Main Forums
 Poetry Workshop
 Look! Triplets!!   [ Page: 1  2  ]
 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24
Follow us on Facebook

 Moderated by: Nan, Balladeer   (Admins )

 
User Options
Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Not Available
Admin Print Send ECard
Passions in Poetry

Look! Triplets!!

 Post A Reply Post New Topic   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


0 posted 03-27-2009 10:48 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

A group of three lines is known as a triplet, or a tercet. Many forms can be created using triplets with different rhyme schemes. We can begin easy. Give me a poem using three triplets with a rhyme scheme of a-a-b, c-c-b, d-d-b. What this means is the first two lines of each tercet will rhyme and the last lines of all three tercets will rhyme with each other....and don't forget the meter, please.

Oh, yes....make the poem about the town you live in
critical mass
Member
since 03-25-2009
Posts 275
Michigan


1 posted 03-28-2009 12:08 PM       View Profile for critical mass   Email critical mass   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for critical mass

We live in Solitude
it's south of Beingrude
and north of Takeahike on County Line.

There is no traffic light,
neon to fill the night,
or drunks to puke up a bottle of wine.

Still we have lots of fun
when we decide to run
over to Roadkill on Squirrel and dine.
Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 01-27-2008
Posts 9055
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!


2 posted 03-28-2009 01:30 PM       View Profile for Alison   Email Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

critical mass,

I really enjoyed this.  Welcome.

Alison
critical mass
Member
since 03-25-2009
Posts 275
Michigan


3 posted 03-28-2009 02:19 PM       View Profile for critical mass   Email critical mass   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for critical mass

Thank you Alison.

I had fun with that.

Maybe I'll see you over on Squirrel at the diner sometime.
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


4 posted 03-28-2009 04:23 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Nice to meet you,  critical mass. Gotta love this entry. Your last lines in the second and third stanzas kill a nice meter that the first stanza set up but it was a very clever piece and worthy of a tip o' the hat
critical mass
Member
since 03-25-2009
Posts 275
Michigan


5 posted 03-28-2009 06:33 PM       View Profile for critical mass   Email critical mass   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for critical mass

Balladeer

thank you

One more try .


We live in Solitude
it's south of Beingrude
and north of Takeahike on County Line.

There is no traffic light,
neon to fill the night,
or drunks upchucking bellies full of wine

Still we have lots of fun
when we decide to run
to Roadkill out on Squirrel when we dine.


Thanks for the welcome


Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 01-27-2008
Posts 9055
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!


6 posted 03-28-2009 07:30 PM       View Profile for Alison   Email Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

Just wondering - are you counting two syllables in "squirrel" or one?

I like this poem even more when I read it again.

A
critical mass
Member
since 03-25-2009
Posts 275
Michigan


7 posted 03-28-2009 07:56 PM       View Profile for critical mass   Email critical mass   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for critical mass

Alison thanks again.

Two syllables on squir/rel, that gives the line ten beats.
Of course I was moon walking in the kitchen when I wrote this so my count may be off by a nose.
Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 01-27-2008
Posts 9055
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!


8 posted 03-28-2009 08:14 PM       View Profile for Alison   Email Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

That's what I thought - it sounded off if I read it with one syllable.  

By George, I might be getting the hang of this after all.

It's great that you are joining us in the Workshop.  Now I best go work on my own contribution.

A
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


9 posted 03-28-2009 08:18 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Alison, I think you may just be getting it!! Yes!

Excellent changes, CM. Poem flows as smooth as silk.....nice work!
critical mass
Member
since 03-25-2009
Posts 275
Michigan


10 posted 03-28-2009 08:28 PM       View Profile for critical mass   Email critical mass   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for critical mass

Balladeer

Thank you.

Never hurts to rewrite, and believe me I'm the King of squash and toss.
Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 01-27-2008
Posts 9055
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!


11 posted 03-28-2009 11:04 PM       View Profile for Alison   Email Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

I like squash!



Okay, okay.  I am going!
Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 01-27-2008
Posts 9055
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!


12 posted 03-29-2009 12:45 AM       View Profile for Alison   Email Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

Country Girl Dreams


Winter darkness creates sighs
Summer sunshine remains high
Flowers blooming, splashing colors over blue

Robins flit in cherry trees
Sweetly singing, slumbers ease
Early dawn will paint each morning bright and new

Thunder showers end the day
Keeping forest fires at bay
Making endless plans of outdoor things to do

--

Alison
critical mass
Member
since 03-25-2009
Posts 275
Michigan


13 posted 03-29-2009 09:46 AM       View Profile for critical mass   Email critical mass   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for critical mass

Alison

How in the world did you manage 11 beats per line in the three rhyming lines.
Even Poe couldn't have done that on his best day.

6
6
11

6
6
11

6
6
11

Have fun with this.


Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 01-27-2008
Posts 9055
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!


14 posted 03-29-2009 01:26 PM       View Profile for Alison   Email Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

Tequila?



(kidding)
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


15 posted 03-29-2009 10:17 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

AhA! A Jose  Cuervo composition! I should have known!!

You are really getting this down, Alison. The meter is good, the syllable counts are right on and, although I won't place you over Poe quite yet, your improvement is spectacular. Keep it up!
Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 01-27-2008
Posts 9055
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!


16 posted 03-29-2009 10:54 PM       View Profile for Alison   Email Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

laughing

Let's not even put me and Poe in the same sentence!

I am happy though that I am making some headway.  Is it acceptable to go back and redo assignments?

And (not to be the class tattle tale), but where is Moose?

A
Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 09-05-99
Posts 3505
Bewilderment , USA


17 posted 03-30-2009 06:44 AM       View Profile for Dr.Moose1   Email Dr.Moose1   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dr.Moose1

Alison,
I'll be along momentarily, I got a little sidetracked reading everyone elses' work.
Doc
(tattle-tale, lol)

[This message has been edited by Dr.Moose1 (03-30-2009 09:42 AM).]

Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 09-05-99
Posts 3505
Bewilderment , USA


18 posted 03-30-2009 09:48 AM       View Profile for Dr.Moose1   Email Dr.Moose1   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dr.Moose1

A curious experiment
has left me in Bewilderment
just tapping these four feet

I followed Alice through the glass
awoke in this poetics class
and had the luck to meet

First Nan and then the "Balladeer"
it's now been ten rewarding years
but one must be discreet

For in Bewilderment we say
though Cheshire cats may fade away
and queens may off some heads

Imagination holds the key
but practice makes good poetry
of course then there's the meds

'cuz one pill makes you smaller n'
the other makes you taller n'
it's like the Walrus said
moonbeam
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 12-24-2005
Posts 2038


19 posted 03-30-2009 05:21 PM       View Profile for moonbeam   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for moonbeam

Ok now I'm totally confused.  As a total rhyming duffer I was going to try this in preference to the impossible gender bender thing you set a few days ago Mike.  But Critical Mass's nice comment about Alison's poem has got me wondering.  

Does the poem have to have that 6 6 11 structure?  And anyway where does  6 6 11 come from? If we're talking syllables I make it 7 7 11?  And what does CM mean by "beats", does beats mean syllables as he/she seems to imply by mentioning 11 in the final lines?  I thought "beat" usually referred to the stressed syllable of a foot, but it's quite rare to use that term isn't it? And do we have to write in a specific meter?  And I thought it had to be about our town (Moose?), or can a beginner have a bit of latitude?  Oh, and one last thing, have I missed something about Poe?  CM mentions that even Poe couldn't write lines of 11 beats, is there something particularly difficult about this that I need to know before trying?  Sorry for all the questions, but it's daunting enough trying to do something I don't normally do without the added confusion.
Grinch
Member Elite
since 12-31-2005
Posts 2710
Whoville


20 posted 03-30-2009 07:52 PM       View Profile for Grinch   Email Grinch   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Grinch


Old terraced houses stained by smoke
With cobbled streets, so hard to walk,
Down every alley stood a cotton mill.

Great chimney stacks that powered the boom
That drove the shuttle, spun the loom
All laid down low, to rest or gravely ill.

See Blackburn through the mist and rain
The clog sparked flag’s long lost refrain,
A memory, she holds me softly still.

------------------

Sorry, it's not very good, I tend to rush things.

.
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


21 posted 03-30-2009 08:36 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Does the poem have to have that 6 6 11 structure?

No, the poem can have any structure you like

And anyway where does  6 6 11 come from? If we're talking syllables I make it 7 7 11?

Me, too. Maybe critical mass uses new math??

And what does CM mean by "beats", does beats mean syllables as he/she seems to imply by mentioning 11 in the final lines?  I thought "beat" usually referred to the stressed syllable of a foot, but it's quite rare to use that term isn't it?

I agree with you. Perhaps CM is a beat poet? I'll let him explain what he means by beats.

And do we have to write in a specific meter?  

No, but the meter needs to be constant for the fluidity of the poem. Use iambic, trochaic, anipestic or anything you like, but stay with it throughout the poem.

And I thought it had to be about our town (Moose?), or can a beginner have a bit of latitude?

You didn't have to get to Moose's poem to see a deviation there. check out the tongue-in-cheek names CM used! Moose is, well, moose. His home town is reported to be on a distant planet

Oh, and one last thing, have I missed something about Poe?  CM mentions that even Poe couldn't write lines of 11 beats, is there something particularly difficult about this that I need to know before trying?

No, there is nothing particularly difficult about 11 syllable lines. Poe probably wouldn't write 11 syllable lines because...he wouldn't want to!

Good questions, moonbeam, showing a lot of thought on your part.
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


22 posted 03-30-2009 09:06 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Well, grinch, you may not think much of it but I really like it. it's an excellent portrait of a once-active boom town, factories working, houses sooted from chimney smoke, deserted now as the boom died with only the closed factories and soot remaining as a reminder of what it once had been. It paints an excellent before and after picture, all in the space of a few lines....it works for me.

Moose, first Alison told on you and then so did moonbeam.
Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 01-27-2008
Posts 9055
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!


23 posted 03-30-2009 11:21 PM       View Profile for Alison   Email Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

I didn't really do my town either -- I'll try that part again.  And I counted 7-7-11 too - and like I said, let's not put me in the same sentence with Poe.  I am still trying to pull my feet out of my mouth most of the time.

A
moonbeam
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 12-24-2005
Posts 2038


24 posted 03-31-2009 04:04 AM       View Profile for moonbeam   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for moonbeam

Grinch awww now I feel really homesick.

Thanks Mike, that was very useful, I'm a little busy today but I'll try
 
 Post A Reply Post New Topic   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
All times are ET (US) Top
  User Options
>> Main Forums >> Poetry Workshop >> Look! Triplets!!   [ Page: 1  2  ] Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Not Available
Print Send ECard

 

pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Today's Topics | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary



© Passions in Poetry and netpoets.com 1998-2013
All Poetry and Prose is copyrighted by the individual authors