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Passions in Poetry

Look! Triplets!!

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Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 09-05-99
Posts 3505
Bewilderment , USA


25 posted 03-31-2009 07:07 AM       View Profile for Dr.Moose1   Email Dr.Moose1   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dr.Moose1

moonbeam ,
I didn't miss the part about "hometown", just used a little more "lattitude" than longitude. On these blue pages I list my address as Bewilderment, USA. I didn't mean to add to the confusion. Welcome to the workshop.
Doc

Balladeer,
Lol @ "distant planet".
Doc

Alison,
Nice job on that. " I'm tellin' Teach", lol.
Doc

critical mass,
Like the humor in that, welcome to the workshop.
Doc

Grinch,
Gotta agree with Balladeer, nice imagery. I can drive three miles down the road and see this, or just read your poem again. I think I'll save the gas.
Doc

[This message has been edited by Dr.Moose1 (03-31-2009 07:48 AM).]

critical mass
Member
since 03-25-2009
Posts 275
Michigan


26 posted 03-31-2009 09:05 PM       View Profile for critical mass   Email critical mass   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for critical mass

Don't look at me, I'm no poet and besides I'm old.
and thanx Moose for the welcome.----7 beats ha
Claira
Member
since 05-11-2008
Posts 101
British but living in Thailand


27 posted 04-04-2009 09:06 AM       View Profile for Claira   Email Claira   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Claira

I'll be back soon with this assignment.

Alison, you have come on in leaps and bounds
Oklahoma Rose
Senior Member
since 02-28-2008
Posts 1585
Oklahoma USA


28 posted 04-04-2009 06:26 PM       View Profile for Oklahoma Rose   Email Oklahoma Rose   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Oklahoma Rose

Ok Sir Balladeer, I managed to come up with a little something for this assignment. I know it's not the best, but, it's all I've got. I promise to try to do another one. A little better, I hope. Anyway, here it is.

Tornado Seasons

The sun is shining bright today
But tomorrow is another day
You never know what each day brings

The ground could be covered with snow
Then again, the sun could continue to show
We could actually start having Spring

The one thing I could do without
Are those tornados that roam about
It doesnít make for a very happy Spring


Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


29 posted 04-04-2009 08:18 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Very nice, Rose! You got the triplet down perfectly, in a poem that makes excellent sense. One never knows about the weather this time of year...watch out for those tornados!!!
Oklahoma Rose
Senior Member
since 02-28-2008
Posts 1585
Oklahoma USA


30 posted 04-04-2009 09:27 PM       View Profile for Oklahoma Rose   Email Oklahoma Rose   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Oklahoma Rose

Awwww Balladeer! You made me smile as big as the ocean. LOL! Well, maybe not quite that big. It thrills me to know that I finally got something right on the first try. Thank you so much for not giving up on me. I'm still going to attempt the previous assignments we were suppose to do. I guess late is better, than never, huh?
Alison
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Member Rara Avis
since 01-27-2008
Posts 9055
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!


31 posted 04-05-2009 11:17 PM       View Profile for Alison   Email Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

Hey Claira - thank you.  And, Sue?  That's great .. you can never get your assignments in too late.  So there, girl friend.

Okay, my class is over and I am ready to knuckle down and work on my poem.  See, Sue, I am the late one!

A
Marc-Andre
Senior Member
since 12-07-2008
Posts 500


32 posted 04-19-2009 04:10 PM       View Profile for Marc-Andre   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marc-Andre

Yep, that's seems to be the right place for it. There are quite a few metrical substitutions in that one, mostly line-starting headless feet.

I shall go home now, where resentment aged,
Where umbrage has long simmered,  where once raged
Stern teapot tempests. Whether I am scum

Or dregs to him, to me, itís now all froth.
There, on the porch or on the heath, the wroth
Curmudgeon huffs and waits, much soused on mum.

It has been years. There I shall pace the room
Where mom imbued all gauds with cheap perfume,
Where she exhibited phantasmagorias.

ThereĎs on the dusty boudoir desk  the tribal
Canon: dated almanacs, the Bible
And the Readerís Digest.  (The Victoriaís

Secret setís now safely tucked below
Dadís smutty mattress.) Decked with bibelots,
A teak (unvarnished) vanity; its broken

Mirror held together with duct tape
Reflects the plastic crucifix, the crape
That wraps her cherished New York subway token

Lying on the sticky bed. Iíll sneak
To the kitchen, to the fridge whose leak
Will reek of rotten cabbage and of soured

Milk. Iíll pare the ham of its slime mold
Spread crusty mustard on brown bread (months old)
And scoff a sandwich. After I have scoured

For hours, with copious barfing on the floor,
Iíll find behind the medicine cabinetís door
A helpful bottle of old Mickey Finn

(I think dad uses it to brush his denture.)
Iíll strip and gawk at the portrayed trencher
And black-and-white nudes of my auntie Lynn

That adorn the walls, and have a bath
Reciting ďDaddyĒ (verse by Sylvia Plath)
With shampoo made of blue sea weed extracts

And Asian soap of durian essence
That grandma bought when I came in pubescence
(She didnít see well, with her cataracts.)

Indeed I will return to my ground zero
That place where I would never be a hero
Where all my faults remain, enshrined and known;

This is where they have seen my shriveled penis,
What Iíll look like when I (as all our genus,)
Will bald and lose my teeth. There Iíll atone

For being born, and I will learn to tell
My dad Iíll love him still when Iím in hell.
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


33 posted 04-26-2009 07:14 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Marc Andre, you certainly come up with incredible rhymes...no easy way out for you and that's a very commendable trait. You push the limit and I like it....nicely done.
Marc-Andre
Senior Member
since 12-07-2008
Posts 500


34 posted 04-28-2009 09:58 AM       View Profile for Marc-Andre   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marc-Andre

Balladeer, thanks for the encouraging comments. Much of the credit you give me I owe to you. You've been teaching me a lot, and you've pushed me onwards too.

What happened to the CA forum? I spend most of my forum time on sites solely dedicated to workshopping lately, but I'll sure keep coming here to the poetry workshop to keep learning.

Mark
 
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