Balladeer, I took the liberty to post the new revision in a new thread for clarity, as myself for one would get lost in the other one. I have revised the poem. All the rhymes should be solid now (spare me not, my friend) and the meter equally immaculate. Once more, thanks for all the time you have devoted on critiquing this piece. Mark
In the inner court aborning fog adorned the cold March morning
Treading paths of herringbone eroded bricks toward that place
Seen in one disturbing vision, at the time of the collision,
In my mind a sharp incision time would neither purge nor case,
On my quest of revelations, labyrinths I’d have to trace:
Track a lady christened Grace.
Eerily, no sound would hustle sacred mystic nature‘s rustle,
Hooded crows there pillage garbage as black cats deer mice deface;
Swiftly northern winds were steaming, frozen sparrows started screaming,
In the sky a pale sun gleaming through the haze-invaded space,
Molecules of smoke and humus polkaed deftly on my face;
But of Grace there was no trace.
When I reached the stairwell landing, torn face bricks my conscience branding
With awareness that I’d timely leave behind the human race;
T’was so still you’d hear the echo of the motions of a gecko;
On the inner walls a secco, on the floor a broken vase
And some weathered relics from a golden age we can’t replace:
Then I heard a double bass.
As my heart was wildly pounding, treacherous slanted winders rounding
Leaden double bass still droning, charcoal sweat flowed down my face;
As I dropped, a decrescendo while my pulse reached a stringendo,
Clammy walls gave innuendo there my ghost I would encase,
My remaining lifeblood wasted in a fatal chase for Grace;
On the wall there leaned a mace.
Rusty shovels draped with dank clay, in a spandrel on red shale lay,
Through a cleft I saw a shadow, could it be the one of Grace?
It was then I heard a rumble as the string of stairs would crumble,
Walls shook plaster off in tumble, disinterring hoar high place
As I clutched the cast iron handrail, dangling feet in empty space -
Struggling to the spandrel brace.
I heard voices that lamented from a regal sulphur-scented
Hall whose walls the still lifes of Picasso and Cezanne would trace,
In the corner black antique hearse, blanketed by scrolls of dark curse,
And graffitied with Rimbaud’s verse, sketches of the Virgin’s face;
Soon there closed a lady donning frock made of Chantilly lace:
Thus appeared my lady Grace.
Ashen was her smooth complexion, and her visage pure perfection
Though coagulated blood anointed her angelic face;
Her plush breasts and tempting lush hips matched her charming purple full lips
But her neck and shoulders bore rips that e’en time could not efface;
On the ebony four-poster bed I was soon laid by Grace,
Strongly held in her embrace.
First as hard and cold as marble, murmuring exotic garble,
She was like basalt that fused and melted, bonding in embrace;
And inside her flowed pure manna as she wildly cried “hosannah”
In the temple of Diana, love profaning sacred place;
Thus my conscience captured in the existential prisoner’s base,
In temptation of her grace.
“Welcome, darling, to the life’s trough, realm where reigns the death’s-head hawk moth;
Trapped between Sheol and foul Gehanna is this Hilbert space:
Yon Rosetta stone unravel would amount to naught but cavil,
Long ago was struck the gavel“, in my ear would whisper Grace
With a kiss suppressing pining to rejoin the livings’ base;
In a coma I’d found Grace.
Copyright 2009 by Marc-Andre Germain - All Rights Reserved