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Lucie
Senior Member
since 1999-06-20
Posts 1077
Houston

0 posted 2008-12-16 12:38 PM



I pulled on the big red pants, and fastened each suspender.
Geesh my bosses sure are cheap, this years Santa's the wrong gender!

Christmas Party, my pattootie, they’ve cut corners all year long.
Our jobs are more uncomfortable then a too-tight barbwire thong.

Had to make the decorations, to make it fair we all drew straws.
‘Deer's was long, so he’s the elf. Mine was short, so I’m the Claus.

You’d think my part was easy, pass out presents, HO! HO! HO!
But, I gotta buy the bosses gift, one for LngJhn, one for Toe.

They didn’t spring for open bar, they didn’t spring for food.
When we mentioned Christmas bonuses they got an attitude.

I stuffed my hair into the hat, glued the fake beard to my face.
Pulled the belt a little tighter, to hold the padding in its place.

“Deer was in some red striped tights, elfin shoes with silver bells.
A tiny hat upon his head, glittered beads on his lapels.



We stepped into the boardroom, (they didn’t even rent a hall.)
Table full of pot luck casseroles and employees, wall to wall.

LngJhn and Toe were mingling, and grinning ear to ear.
Expecting lots of presents in the bag held by “Elf ‘Deer.”

“Ho! Ho! Ho! My name is Santa and you’re on my naughty list.”
(I know I should have held my tongue, but in disguise, could not resist.)

“I’ve checked the names, I checked them twice.”
“LngJhn and Toe, you’ve not been nice!”

“You’ve been scrooges, you’ve been evil.”
“Causing stress and great upheaval.”

For making us work graveyard shift.
You don’t deserve a Christmas gift.

But we pooled our money, bit by bit.
All we could spare between you …split.

Since coal’s expensive, here’s the scoop
We’re gifting you with Frosty poop!

Photobucket

Merry Christmas!

© Copyright 2008 Lucille Dobbins - All Rights Reserved
Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
1 posted 2008-12-16 12:50 PM


Lucie,

That is wonderfully funny.  It's wicked.  Okay, I am off to work on mine.

Merry Christmas,
Alison

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
2 posted 2008-12-16 01:36 AM


Ah, Lucie!  I just knew you could arise the the occasion!  Serves those two nogoodniks right!

(we are going to have to discuss your turning me into an elf, though)

There could be repercusions...

Nicely done, Lucie

Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA
3 posted 2008-12-16 09:08 AM


Lucie,
Lol, great job of this. I always suspected
there may have been some cross-dressing going on at "deers", now there's proof!
Merry Christmas.
Doc

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
4 posted 2008-12-16 10:36 AM


LOL I really enjoyed this and I would say you completed your assignment well.  I may have to get the images of a barbwire thong and Balladeer in tights out of my head before I can ever sleep again, but I did enjoy the laugh.  Well done.
Justin Genius
Member
since 2001-04-02
Posts 85

5 posted 2008-12-16 05:13 PM


What a wonderful tale! I enjoyed it very much. Thanks for the laughs.
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
6 posted 2008-12-16 06:19 PM


I loved this and the others so much I am  printing them out and making a little booklet of the challenge to reread and enjoy during the holidays

Thanks
M

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