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Alliterative Amphibrachs
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Alliterative Amphibrachs |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Some forms of the foot are especially hard, they beguile all the best of us wannabe bards. We hoof it and hope we don't trip and our feet are harmonious hooves hot to trot to the beat. Some opt to perform for a few fleet of foot as perplexing and pointless as bad pantomime. Some swing in false step sounding most insincere as they sacrifice form for the sake of a rhyme. My creedo is such that I try to keep pace with a music which sounds instrumentally clear as that of the muse, never silent for long, nor afar that those words will but fall on deaf ears. [This message has been edited by Dr.Moose1 (09-17-2008 04:56 PM).] |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
As always, Moose, you perform brilliantly. The meter is exact and a perfect example of the meter. And, as always, I must nitpick just a little, since I don't want the Moose head to grow so large it won't fit on a wall  Your spell-checker missed "especially" and "bards" - "beat" is a little too far out, even for a near-rhyme. Aside from that, you're making it harder and harder to find anything to moan about  Sterling work, sir  |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Balladeer, Thank you most pontificant practitioner of the poetic arts. That would be the internal spell-checker on the fritz again, but, ( why is there always a but? ) hard/bard , feet/beat , not end rhymes as I backed them off a beat to follow meter. The first stanza varies from the 2nd and 3rd in that ab rhyme as well as cd. In the 2nd and 3rd stanzas only bd rhyme, I think I got that right? Doc |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Ok, doc. I see your construction now and you are entitled to do it anyway you like. Personally, I feel it is better in rhymed poetry to have a consistant pattern that the reader's mind will pick up on, instead of varying patterns switching between stanzas....but that's just a personal opinion. I recognize anyone's right to follow any pattern they consider valid. You can have your gold star back  |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Well, fudge. It HAS to rhyme? |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Fudge???? Careful, Sunshine. We have strict rules against such profanity here!  No, poetess of the plains. It does not have to rhyme. My comments to Moose were about an example that he chose to rhyme. Should you decide on free verse, that's fine, too. |
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Alison 
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
I tripped on my feet just coming in here to say .. Great job. You always make me smile, Dr. Moose Sir. A |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
No fudge? Well, chocolate chip cookies then.  I'll submit mine tonight. |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Balladeer, Thanks, I tend to agree with you on not varying the pattern , but I gratefully accept my star back as I'm considering throwing my own little universe together due to the fact that this one's pretty messed up. Sunshine, Candy-coat it any way you want, I'm sure the results will be sweet. Looking forward to your posting. Doc Alison, We all know you can dance, some steps may not come as easily, but the results speak for themselves, and, quite eloquently. Doc |
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