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Passions in Poetry

Get Off Your Assonance!

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Balladeer
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since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


0 posted 05-31-2008 05:50 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer


So how has the workshop gone?


Let's see now. In the first color assignment we had:

Alison
Marge
Ron
Maureen
Munda

In our second assignment on colors we had

Alison
Maureen
Sunshine
Munda
Marge
Dr. Moose

On the iambics assignment we had

Alison
Maureen
Essorant
Nan
Munda
Claira
Dr. Moose

Internal Rhyme brought out

Sunshine
Titia
Essorant
Alison
Susan Caldwell
Marilyn
Dr. Moose

Male, Female & Triples were performed by

Alison
Marilyn
Dr. Moose


There were a couple who never returned after being critiqued and I'll apologize for that. I've tried to keep things friendly, encouraging and positive. For those who have stuck with it, I thank you.

And now it is time for you to get off, or rather get on, your assonance!

Assonance is repetition of vowel sounds to create internal rhyming within phrases or sentences, and together with alliteration and consonance serves as one of the building blocks of verse. For example, in the phrase "Do you like blue?", the "oo" (ou/ue) sound is repeated within the sentence and is assonant.

Hear the m(e)llow w(e)dding b(e)lls. — Edgar Allan Poe, "The Bells"

And (mur)muring of innu(mer)able bees - Alfred Lord Tennyson, The Princess VII.203

The cr(u)mbling th(u)nder of seas — Robert Louis Stevenson

That solit(u)de which s(u)its abstr(u)ser m(u)sings - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

So on with the assignment. Give me a poem with strong usage of assonance to give the lines strength. Be sure not to let the meter or rythm suffer through the attempt.

You still here?
Dr.Moose1
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since 09-05-99
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Bewilderment , USA


1 posted 05-31-2008 07:40 PM       View Profile for Dr.Moose1   Email Dr.Moose1   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dr.Moose1

Balladeer,
Yup, you ain't skeered me oft yet.
Doc
P.s. but, don't think I didn't notice you listed me last for every assignment. Is that any way to treat your star pupil?
Balladeer
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2 posted 05-31-2008 09:23 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Never heard of saving the best for last, Moose?
Alison
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3 posted 05-31-2008 10:51 PM       View Profile for Alison   Email Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

Well, the doc might be your best student - but I am your slowest learner, by cracky!

Balladeer
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4 posted 05-31-2008 11:55 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

All depends how you look at it, Alison. Doc has a lot of experience and natural skill. If I judged my students on how much they have improved, you would get the gold star
Alison
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5 posted 06-01-2008 03:28 AM       View Profile for Alison   Email Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

Why thank you (and I think that the Doc takes his sense of humor very, VERY seriously - or so he says.  Yep, that is what he says.).
Alison
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6 posted 06-02-2008 12:14 AM       View Profile for Alison   Email Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

Man, this is hard!

Marilyn
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7 posted 06-02-2008 11:20 AM       View Profile for Marilyn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marilyn

I didn't leave...just life getting in the way as usual...lol. Things get very busy with a household of teenagers. I will be back maybe with some pauses but I really want to get my writing back on track. I am finding it difficult but nothing in life worth while is easy...lol

M
Balladeer
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8 posted 06-02-2008 10:42 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Marilyn, you mean you're choosing your teenagers over the Poetry workshop????? That's appalling

ANYTIME you show up is a treat, m'lady. Put them up for adoption and come back to us!
xTr3m3sT
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9 posted 06-08-2008 10:51 PM       View Profile for xTr3m3sT   Email xTr3m3sT   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for xTr3m3sT

My pain b(e)llows, (e)cho's, m(e)llows
when I hear the cell(o)'s foll(o)w
my thoughts of imm(e)nse, t(e)nse, suspenc(e)
ang(e)r while it ling(e)rs again.
Munda
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10 posted 06-09-2008 12:11 PM       View Profile for Munda   Email Munda   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Munda's Home Page   View IP for Munda

I'm so sorry Balladeer for disappearing, but real life has found a way (again) to keep me busy. My job is on the line and right now I need all my energy (and creativity) for that. GRR! I'll be back, although I have no clue when. Sigh...
Balladeer
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11 posted 06-09-2008 04:01 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

My pain b(e)llows, (e)cho's, m(e)llows
when I hear the cell(o)'s foll(o)w
my thoughts of imm(e)nse, t(e)nse, suspenc(e)
ang(e)r while it ling(e)rs again.

Ok, Angel. You have good assonance there. The (e) in suspence is not one since the letter is silent).

I twould be interesting to know what you mean by this poem. What pain are you referring to? What is suspence anger? Simply employing assonance isn't enough if it doesn'a add to the poem or readers can't relate to it. Care to enlighten me?
xTr3m3sT
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12 posted 06-09-2008 06:12 PM       View Profile for xTr3m3sT   Email xTr3m3sT   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for xTr3m3sT

Well, I wrote this because I was feeling very upset due to family affairs, and my friend showed me a cello piece that calmed me down o.o   though the anger still lingered.
xTr3m3sT
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13 posted 06-10-2008 11:42 AM       View Profile for xTr3m3sT   Email xTr3m3sT   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for xTr3m3sT

Listen to the cello's bellow in my sleep
while my hollow sorrow burns
in yesterday's tommorow.

Wallowing in despair
for the shadows don't care
about the pain that shoots
right there....there...

Listen, the strings of the cello
moves the mellow nature of
my fingers.

Please, see the light in my sight
for this fight is on bended knee
the trio of pain hurts me deeply
and I have nothing to gain.
Balladeer
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14 posted 06-10-2008 12:11 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Now you are talking, Angel! The meaning is much clearer and the wording and usage of sounds precise. Very nicely done....
xTr3m3sT
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15 posted 06-10-2008 01:08 PM       View Profile for xTr3m3sT   Email xTr3m3sT   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for xTr3m3sT

:]]] Thanks, am I doing well here?
rachaelfuchsberger
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16 posted 07-25-2009 02:11 PM       View Profile for rachaelfuchsberger   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for rachaelfuchsberger

Hmm...I can't seem to find the first (or maybe second) color assignment or the iambic. I've found the others. Perhaps someone knows where I can find the missing color assignment and the iambic one?

Arana Darkwolf

crosscountry83
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17 posted 07-30-2009 02:54 PM       View Profile for crosscountry83   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for crosscountry83

This was hard! I'm not even sure if I'm doing it right but here is my try.

I gl(a)nce up (a)t my d(a)d.
I f(i)nd his m(i)nd in m(i)ne.
Why c(a)n he (a)ct so s(a)d?
Because h(i)gh fl(i)es the t(i)me.
Earth Angel
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Realms of Light


18 posted 07-31-2009 07:58 PM       View Profile for Earth Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Earth Angel's Home Page   View IP for Earth Angel

I thought that the following poem ~ which I posted back in 2002, might work for this exercise. Here's hoping! 'Angel' crosses her proverbial wings.

In Days of Yore


In days of yore, on distant shore,
Merry minstrels made their way,
Blowing flutes, and plucking lutes,
~ 'Twas a fanciful display.

As jesters pranced, their merry dance,
Children laughed with mirthful glee,
For what they saw, filled them with awe,
To behold such pageantry.

As all drew nigh, with spirits high,
To join this revelry,
Dog nips at heel ~ made children squeal,
~ 'Twas a merry sight to see.

Fresh-baked bread, filled their head,
As villagers gathered 'round,
Vendors shout, "Come buy my stout!
It's the best brew in the town!"

Both knight and serf, gave of their worth,
To honor one another,
Come once a year ~ at this time of cheer,
All became the other's brother.

As village folk, did laugh and joke,
In joyful merriment,
All was well, in the derry-o-dell,
On this day of sweet content.

LLD
Earth Angel
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19 posted 08-03-2009 12:20 AM       View Profile for Earth Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Earth Angel's Home Page   View IP for Earth Angel

Well, I decided that I should probably write something new for this assignment ~ instead of borrowing from the past, if you will! I threw in a mix of assonance and alliteration.

My muse intrudes my solitude with mumblings
She flutters and mutters ~ nearly ev’ry night!
Tho’ Mary the Fairy is cute and capricious,
I need my sleep and do not want to write!


LLD
Alison
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20 posted 08-03-2009 02:17 AM       View Profile for Alison   Email Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

Me thinks our 'deer is playing hooky. Hope he is not out sick - thinking of you, Balladeer.  

xooxxo
A
Balladeer
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21 posted 08-03-2009 02:59 AM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

I'm baaaaack!   Angel, your second one is much more in tune with assonance than the older one, although I really enjoyed it. (even if it goes back to the days when you employed the evil "did").

Thank you!

Alison
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22 posted 08-03-2009 03:27 AM       View Profile for Alison   Email Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

Yay!

Earth Angel
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23 posted 08-03-2009 09:31 AM       View Profile for Earth Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Earth Angel's Home Page   View IP for Earth Angel

Adorable Alison, it would appear that our dear Deer has recuperated from his golf game. lol

Hi, Teach! I'm pleased that you enjoyed my "In Days of Yore". Aw, yes, the good ole days. I remember them well.

I'm relieved that I had my Ass(onance) in gear for the second submission. Thank you for checking them out and for your comments.

Cheers!

LL
Alison
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24 posted 08-03-2009 11:24 AM       View Profile for Alison   Email Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

Yeah, that's right. It's all about putters and ... never mind.

A
 
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